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Relationships - teachers v non-teachers

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Caroline_p3, Oct 24, 2010.

  1. I have been teaching primary students for 35 years and still love our profession and the personal rewards it brings. However, excessive work hours can quickly lead to burn out, zap energy and creativity. My husband has always been bemused and a little frustrated when there is too much teacher talk at times, but as a civil engineer, his input has provided balance to hectic school life which helps add perspective and a sense of the normality in the "real world."
    We have noted how friends that are teachers who have married teachers have wonderful family holidays. Sometimes though, dinner party conversations can be a tad weighted with educational issues. Sometimes we can all talk a little too much and not listen enough.
    Relationships, family, health need to come first and should no be sacrificed for excessive work loads.Please leave early tomorrow!
     
  2. In every demanding profession you find this coming up. Lawyers often date lawyers, but there are many that don't and many that wouldn't date a lawyer for all the free wigs and gowns in the world. Having a partner out of the profession can, and should, keep you grounded. It's easy to get obsessed with any job and without that voice on your shoulder whispering 'no, seriously, it's just a job', there is every chance you'll slip over the edge into that very unpleasant place where the cliche becomes a reality and it really is all work and no play. An understanding partner will support, but they should challenge as well as colusion in the long term will only damage the relationship. Naturally they key is communication. I'm spending half term writing a rather long essay - warning my partner might have been a cunning plan indeed!
     
  3. [​IMG] What?! And why on earth is gay written in inverted commas?
     
  4. Hi there! I am a teacher who was married to a non-teacher, but am now divorced and about to marry another teacher from my school in December. Part of the problem in my first marriage was that my husband didn't understand the stress and exhaustion that my job caused me and had no interest in what I was talking about.
    I now find that being in a relationship with a fellow teacher works really well as we both understand the stress and strains of the job and help each other out when one's work load is heavier than the other's. However, my fiance's mum was a very committed teacher and his dad wasn't and their realtionship is very strong and has lasted for 38 years!!
    Overall, I think it all depends on the people involved - if you've found the right person, your relationship will be successful whatever you both do!!!
    Good luck!


     
  5. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    My other half is a non-teacher and I like the way he helps me to stop thinking about work so much. He's always insisting we go out to the theatre, or see friends, or have a walk, and it means I'm not at home searching the net for teaching resources I don't really need. I get everything school-related done at school, as much as possible, although I occasionally bring marking home.
    I think the key is to have a good work-life balance, regardless of what your partner does.
     
  6. Antinko

    Antinko New commenter

    My fiance is a nurse which makes things interesting but we cope. I certainly wouldn't go out with a teacher working within the same school but I could see the benefits of teacher-teacher relationships. Ultimately, though, I quite like my current partner. :)

     
  7. Caroline_p3

    Caroline_p3 New commenter

    Wow i never thought this topic would be so popular!!
    Now i would like to set a few things straight as i have been under fire a few times. My relationship is fine, i was just asking as the teacher v non-teacher was something i have heard a couple of times in my school (lots of couples there!) and just started to wonder peoples opinions.
    Yes maybe i talk about school too much at home but i think that is just because it is all new, i talk more about the staff then the kids!!
    Personally my working hours suit me at the moment (believe me i am no push over, i will say no if i can't do something). My partner works till late anway, and extra curricular is ME it is one of the reasons i wanted to become a teacher, it is not work it is enjoyable. Yes i make life harder for myself commuting to London, but i made that decision(not for the money), and i normally plan my lessons whilst driving so i take no work home with me. I play my own sports in the evening and my BF comes and watches, and have weekends free to be ME!
    Thank you for all your opinions
     
  8. Really? Erm....how!
     
  9. My BF is a teacher...and it's awesome!
    We have the same holidays and he understands the pressure.
    He is also good to talk to about ideas and helps with planning...

    I would rather be with someone that has as many holidays as me and can travel as much as I can, than spend time by myself or feel guilty about having more holidays...

    For us it works...
     
  10. Caroline_p3

    Caroline_p3 New commenter

    In my head, once i have the idea it only takes me about 20 mins to get it down into a proper lesson plan.Therefore i plan most of my lessons in my frees at school. The ideas come to me all over the place sometimes whilst driving or i can refine ideas whilst i have all that time!
     
  11. That's how I used to plan when I started teaching in the 1970s in a small village school. I would drive home and review what the children had learnt that day and while driving to work next morning I would plan what we were going to do that day. Before the national curriculum and Ofsted there was very little demand from anyone to write anything down.
     
  12. I tend to make sure I am concentrating on driving when I am in my car rather than mentally planning a lesson!
     
  13. My wife is a nursing sister in a busy hospital so I can't give her the excuse of being 'exhausted' etc especially when she has completed a double shift after working 2 weeks of nights! Could not date another teacher for the reasons many people have stated here.....it would be all talking shop. Love my job but I like to talk about things unrelated to the profession when I finally get home at the end of the day.
     
  14. I am married to a teacher - the prime perk of being a teacher is the school holidays - as a side effect of the work hard -play hard extreme year - if I wasn't married to a teacher I wouldn't see the benefits so much - we go away for a month each summer and this has been the best part of both my lifestyle and marriage - also helps having school hols together with a child now.
    We were also able to live abroad for 6 years my husband getting a teaching job and me having a career break with young child and then supply teaching for me being a rare employment opportunity overseas which non-teaching partners didn't have.
    I also think it's true that teachers give each other more slack as we understand the ridiculous hours (at some parts of the year/ ofsted season/ new jobs etc), politics and how students, colleagues, parents, the govt, the LEA etc wind us up
    - the downside - no-one to share childcare on CPD days!
    On the other side to only date teachers wouldn't be a good idea either ...
     
  15. My Hubby isn't a Teacher the only disadvantage is that he doesn't have the same amount of holidays I do! We have 2 children so I have always done all the holiday stuff with them which I love. It keeps me grounded having a hubby who works in the "real" world and I balance my work sol that I do more at School and less at home.

     
  16. Hear, hear!!
     
  17. I'm with a soldier and am very glad I'm not with a teacher. He gets plenty of time off as the army are quite big into family time, but, of course, he has to go away a lot. This means we make sure the time we do have together is not just time spent moaning about work! My closest friend is a teacher and we always end up talking shop when we're together - it's nice to be able to switch off when I'm with my OH. He listens if need be, just as I listen to him - it really shouldn't matter what job they have so long as you're working together. Your hours are really full on so make sure what time you do have counts :)
     
  18. I've been teaching 11 years and have been pretty much single the whole time bar a 7 month relationship 3 years ago. I wonder if part of the trouble meeting people is the all consuming nature of my job. I live on my own and find that I just go to work, come home around 6.30pm and spend the evening thinking and worrying abut work. I'm sure if there was someone else here it would help me to switch off from it as I never manage to! It's hard to meet people as in the evenings I'm completely exhausted so just crash out and then at the weekends I'm recovering from the week or just seeing (female) friends for coffees. I work in a female dominated environment so no potential there!
     
  19. Robfreeman

    Robfreeman Occasional commenter

    Get your coat
     
  20. ha ha!
     

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