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Race for Life 2011

Discussion in 'Personal' started by fantastischfish, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Is anyone else taking part? I took part last year and have started doing some trainign for this year's race because I'd like to get a better time. Not only that, but last year I really surprised myself with how much I could, so am keen to improve my running - something I really thought I'd just never be able to do!

    Something has shocked me though: the reaction of some of my friends. I've been asking for sponsors (well, not really asking, put putting a notice on my FB page and posting a link that people can followed). I've also been asking my friends if anyone would like to take part with me.
    A few friends have really quite upset me with their reaction. One frien has said that she "doesn't believe in the Race For Life" because participants have to pay to take part, meaning not all money goes to charity. She has said that she'd rather give the money direct because then at least she feels like "something's being done". I was a bit hurt because it made me feel like she was under mining the huge effort I'm putting in to take part and raise loads of money.
    Another friend has said, "Don't get me started on Cancer Research...". I know that she has personal experience of cancer, having lost her father to the disease as a teenager. However, I was completely shocked and taken aback by her response.
    Has anyone else experience negative responses before? I'm really surprised, as I say. I personally feel they are being pretty unreasonable and unsupportive. I've tried explaining that the charity needs money to fund the events and that the amount of moeny raised that does go to the charity outways the entry fees many many times, but to no avail.
    Am I missing something here?
     
  2. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Is anyone else taking part? I took part last year and have started doing some trainign for this year's race because I'd like to get a better time. Not only that, but last year I really surprised myself with how much I could, so am keen to improve my running - something I really thought I'd just never be able to do!

    Something has shocked me though: the reaction of some of my friends. I've been asking for sponsors (well, not really asking, put putting a notice on my FB page and posting a link that people can followed). I've also been asking my friends if anyone would like to take part with me.
    A few friends have really quite upset me with their reaction. One frien has said that she "doesn't believe in the Race For Life" because participants have to pay to take part, meaning not all money goes to charity. She has said that she'd rather give the money direct because then at least she feels like "something's being done". I was a bit hurt because it made me feel like she was under mining the huge effort I'm putting in to take part and raise loads of money.
    Another friend has said, "Don't get me started on Cancer Research...". I know that she has personal experience of cancer, having lost her father to the disease as a teenager. However, I was completely shocked and taken aback by her response.
    Has anyone else experience negative responses before? I'm really surprised, as I say. I personally feel they are being pretty unreasonable and unsupportive. I've tried explaining that the charity needs money to fund the events and that the amount of moeny raised that does go to the charity outways the entry fees many many times, but to no avail.
    Am I missing something here?
     
  3. I don't remember paying to take part in race for life... [​IMG]
    Personally I have never had any problems raising money, but it can be a very emotive issue. Try not to take their responses to heart.
     
  4. Hi Eva, I think it's a great thing that you are doing. Let's get that straight. I am too lazy to do anything like that myself and so admire anyone who does it. I think the Race for Life is a real bonding thing for women as well as a great fundraiser.
    We lost my lovely Mum to cancer and although i don't think I feel bitter towards Cancer Research I am very aware that her particular cancer has much less publicity than others. I find this difficult sometimes. My Dad certainly feels very bitter that charities such as Cancer Research did not save her. Not necessarily a rational argument, but there you are. That might explain your friend's response.
    I do give to charity, in varying amounts. I dislike being asked to sponsor people, but I usually make a token donation. A tenuous acquaintance asked me to sponsor them recently. i was a bit shocked to see that the minimum amount you could click on was £25. I would have happily given a fiver but did not want to give £25+, and did not want to seem mean by typing in an amount which was much less. So I didn't give.
    I wouldn't get involved in discussing why charities operate as they are; people are entitled to their opinions, and the more you try to argue them into changing their mindsets the more upset you will feel.
     
  5. They both have a right to their opinion.
    As a friend, you should accept that and appreciate it.
    I am sure plenty of other people will sponsor you.
    For you, it is important. For them, there are other issues. Try to understand that.
    It is not a personal dig - they are just standing up for their own opinions and beliefs.
    I don't donate to every charity or sponsored activity myself - nobody has ever taken offence when I have explained why.
     
  6. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    I completely agree with you CQ about not giving to every charity etc. I too have particular charities that I'll always give to. I too don't sponsor every Tom, Dicj and Harry that asks me to, especially if they are not someone I know well.
    However these are supposed to be my best friends. People who I have supported through an awful lot. They know how hard I'm working to learn to run and to do well in the race. I suppose I'm looking for their support, as a friend, not just because of the charity.
    If they don't want to give the money, that's fine. But I was just so shocked at the way they not only put down the charity, but suggested that what I'm actually doing isn't worth anything.
    It's completely demotivating.
     
  7. OK, accepted.
    But listen - friends are not just there to always agree with you or say things you want to hear.
    A true friend will tell you what they think - and has any one of them said you should NOT do it?
    Don't take it so much to heart - dear Eva, you have a tendency to get upset over things I find so not worth getting upset over. I try to understand why you feel upset and often wonder how to word my posts, so as not to upset you more.
    Darling, you are like Cathy up on the moor. "I cannot live without life! I cannot live without my soul!". You are so passionate about things!
    I sometimes imagine you atop Captain Cook's Monument arguing with the wind!
    You are fine as you are - stay as you are. And don't take every wee little comment so to heart xxx
     
  8. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    CQ, contrary to what you seem to think, I do not wander round all day just letting people's every word ***** at me, crying into my cup of tea and so on...
    You may not find things worth getting upset over; perhaps you are so super confident in everything that you do (or so thick-skinned) that you don't need the supportive words and encouragement of your friends.
    I, on the other hand, appreciate the support of friends and actively seek their support when I'm trying to achieve something really difficult. I also try to offer support to them when they need it. Sometimes, being a good friend means being positive and encouraging, even when you're not personally invested in something yourself.
     
  9. Hi Eve,
    It's funny you should mention race for life and facebook because it's a subject that really been getting on my nerves.

    I had 5 friends at the moment who are training for race for life. I admire them and will be donating a small amount to each of them. The reason that it has been getting on my nerves is that they insist on posting about their training every single day and ask for donations every day. I'm not saying you are doing this but it really is enough to put people off donating. They come across as smug.
     
  10. You are doing it again - immediately on the defensive. Read the positive - stop justifying yourself. You don't NEED to!!!

     
  11. A few friends have really quite upset me with their reaction. One frien has said that she "doesn't believe in the Race For Life" because participants have to pay to take part, meaning not all money goes to charity. She has said that she'd rather give the money direct because then at least she feels like "something's being done". I was a bit hurt because it made me feel like she was under mining the huge effort I'm putting in to take part and raise loads of money.

    Eva,you are doing this race to raise money for the cancer charity, be glad that your friend has chosen to give directly. it all goes to the charity regardless of how it is raised. If you are so upset by your friends' reactions you should be examining your motives for doing this race at all. It seems to me that you want praise for putting in "the huge effort" more than you want to raise money. Not the purpose of it at all.
    CQ is right, you are overly sensitive; there is no need for this "woe is me" attitude. Run the race, I admire you for it, but please stop whingeing.
     
  12. Have you asked your friends why their responses have been so strong?

    I'm quite cagey about giving to charities, donating clothes etc now because there seem to be stories of money not going to the charity, scams (in the case of doorstep collections) with charity bags and these are hard times we are living in at the moment. However, that is ME and MY stuff, and not you!
     
  13. Dear Eva
    As a cancer sufferer I am always touched when people run in the Race for Life - it raises a lot of funds for Cancer Research. I always make a donation, but that's because I do have a vested interest in the charity.
    I can see why some people may choose not to support it - some causes get far less publicity than Cancer Research (especially eg breast cancer which is extremely high-profile) and if your loved-ones needed help with a less well-publicised condition, you might not feel inclined to support RFL. I think some people object to the very high-profile fund-raising events, eg RFL, Pudsey Bear et al because they can take people's attention from the less "popular" causes. I have done a fair amount of charity work in my time, and it's increasingly hard for charities to make ends meet, as we all know. We all have limited funds these days and have to make choices about if and when we support various charities and causes. Because we are inundated with requests for donations, from Comic Relief, Race for Life, high-street and door-to-door chuggers, TV appeals, adverts etc etc, it's easy to end up with compassion fatigue.
    In addition, I think there are people who think that if something is highly publicised and fun, it somehow devalues the charitable worth... nobody is entirely altruistic and if a person wants to run in the RFL for a bit of fun, to get fitter, or just to be able to show off to colleagues on the Monday morning, why the hell not? If it raises a bit of cash for charity at the same time, surely that's good enough.
    Having said all of that, I would like to thank you Eva and anyone else running in RFL. Not everyone will want or be able to sponsor you, but plenty of others will do. It's an individual choice and I hope you'll raise loadsa money from those who do want to support you. If people say no, it's unlikely to be anything personal against you - just them exercising their choice as to how so spend their own money. Fair dos.
    Good luck with your training!
     

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