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"Don't ring me unless you have something positive to say....."

Discussion in 'Personal' started by dogcat, Oct 22, 2011.

  1. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    This was my mum's response to me ringing her about some stuff. Didn't want to post on here as I have been doing that alot lately about different things. Looks like I have ended up doing it anyway! Should be a happy time for me, but all I feel is low.
     
  2. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    That sounds like a very unsympathetic response from your Mum. You have to be able to let the bad stuff out somewhere.
    Feel free to post it on here if you have nowhere else to vent. Those who want can respond. Those who want can ignore it.
    Feelings don't tend to respond to "should".
     
  3. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks, just feeling really low about various things;
    • Buying my first house which is really scary
    • Have no friends, so no housewarming and when people have asked I have to make excuses
    • Think I will be splitting up with my bf, and it was cus of him I moved 70miles to start my 'new life'
    • 10 months on and new life!
     
  4. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Invite the people who asked
     
  5. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Not many have, only about 3 I think! And they are from different places, can't have a house warming with 3. The people I would've asked that were my 'friends' would not come I don't think, and I don't really want to ask them anyway.
     
  6. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Agreed. It is a bit step but an exciting one. What stage are you at in the process?
    If you have no friends who are these people that you are having to make excuses too?
    Sorry to hear about the bf thing. Do you just think it might happen or are you pretty sure.
    The new life thing is tough. I moved 150 miles to be with my now husband and it took several years to build my own friendship group. You can't force these things but if you get out there and do things that you enjoy then you will come across people who become friends.
     
  7. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Contracts should be exchanged on Monday and completion Thursday. I have joined a local meetup group and I do things once a month with them, which is nice.
    Just feel really low and stressed out, got an MA essay to do before Jan as well that I am really worried about.
    The bf thing is my choice, not a nice one but one I need to make really.
     
  8. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    why the hell not? How big is the house?
     
  9. Agreed! Ask those three people to bring a course of food to serve 4 people. You make a 4th course and supply the wine. 4 course meal with wine with little effort on your part! :)

     
  10. I also just wanted to add that it would surely be better to have a housewarming with three that are close friends that care than 20 people that you felt you had to invite.
    I think you also said 'only three people have asked about the housewarming'. To be honest if my friends were moving I wouldn't ask but wait to be invited as I know when I moved into my flat I didn't want a housewarming party so it may be that people are thinking the same thing.
    Its easier to think of all the negatives rather than see the positives. Try to twist it round - soon you will be a homeowner and can decorate and do what you want with the place! Your masters you are working on will give you an extra qualification and look good on applications etc.
    From my own experience is it that you want more friends or feel you should have more friends? I have realised I have only two friends - one who lives with her boyfriend and I don't see that often and the other who lives miles away. It always sounds silly saying that I only have two friends, but in reality I am shattered from work during the week so go to bed ridiculously early and weekends I usually have school work and general things to do so wouldn't neccessarily want a large group.
     
  11. You can have a cosy housewarming with 3 guests. I remember having an A Level results party with 2 close friends from college. I had invited a few more but they couldn't make it so we just had a takeaway curry and a few drinks and it was a really lovely evening. I quite often find the best evenings are with a few close friends rather than big crowds of people.
     
  12. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    We went to a 70s fancy dress party where only us and the hosts attended.
    It was an excellent evening.
     
  13. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Are you her mum?[​IMG]
     
  14. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Oh for GS Lurk, don't post unless you have something positive to say [​IMG]
     
  15. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Well I have sent a text to 6 or so people about a housewarming. 3 have said yes, 1 can't make it and 2 have not got back to me yet. Got another 2 to ask when I see them.
    Only invited people I would like to have there, not the whole 'group' from my hometown and some have not met before so we shall see....
     
  16. Dogcat I can't pretend that I have any experience of your problem because the only person who would listen unjudgmentally to my endless whining and offer only sympathy and positive advice was my mother. I naively assumed that all Mums are the same and feel you have been shortchanged if yours has her reasons for not being like that. But please carry on complaining on here because none of us knows anything about you or your situation beyond what you choose to tell us, and if anyone (moi?) gets the hump you can just ignore it as the rattiness of someone who doesn't have a clue. And if they make you feel better - then good.
     
  17. Just don't do your place up as if you were expecting a crowd. Do up your dining area/room as nice as you can and set out the food there - or wait till you know exactly how many and present them with the takeaway menu. Treat them. I only mention it because I love it when someone does that to me! I don't feel as if I've put them to any trouble and the food is usually fine! Athough people my age don't have takeaways as often as you young folk.
     
  18. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks Lilly, to be honest she has said far worse to me. She has had a tough life and I am as independent and stuff as I am because of how she bought me and my sis up. Does sting a little when she is like that though, last time I saw her she told me not to continue with my highlights as my hair looked like straw.
    Anyhow, will wait for definite numbers and then just have a later afternoon into evening thing with a few bits to nibble on and ask people to bring a bottle. There is a pub across the road if all else fails!!!
    Probably be a small gathering, but that may be better especially if a few need to stay over!
     
  19. That sounds like a perfect housewarming to me! Can I come? I'll bring homemade cheesecake...
     
  20. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Cheesecake is always welcome in my house :)
     

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