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Punctuality..... opinions appreciated

Discussion in 'Personal' started by mrstodd, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. I had a long term girlfriend who was always late. Drove me bananas. In the end the resentment at having to wait around for hours of my life without any message to say she was running late etc. was one of the biggest factors that led to the end of the relationship. I could just about put up with it myself but when we started to be late together to things (with me getting more and more stressed as time went by) I couldn't bear it. I think it shows lack of respect for someone else's time.
  2. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

  3. I can forgive ten minutes here and there. I do have one friend who I now make ring me as she leaves (often half an hour after we're supposed to be somewhere) and lie to about the time of events...
  4. Other people's lateness makes me froth with rage. It's so dismissive and RUDE. Your time is of less importance than my convenience. Your time is worth less than mine. You are so unimportant that the fact I have made you waste twenty minutes sitiing or standing on your own possibly in the rain is not worth mentioning and certainly not worth the fuss you're making.
    Or worse, Oooooh I'm just so creative and spiritual that time as other mere mortals recognise it barely seems to exist for me. Aren't I lovely even though a teensy bit scatty, teeheehee?
    I can forgive an obviously unforeeable delay, and it is much better now that people have mobile phones so you can at least ascertain just how much of your time they're planning to waste. But by and large I can't be friends - can indeed barely be civil - to people who are persistently unpunctual.
  5. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    Absolutely, I have no time for people who are so selfish.
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I find mobile phones annoying. When I am a minute late, I get a phone call asking where I am. How would they have coped in the old days?
  7. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    A lack of punctuality is a symptom of a lack of manners* - it basically means the person values their own time over that of those they are meeting.
    Mobile phones have made the general level of punctuality far worse - the prevailing view seems to be one of "I can always phone if I am running a bit late". Before their genral adoption, when there was often no way of contacting the people you were meeting, greater efforts were made to be on time, to the point that most people would arrive early.

    *unforeseeable dealys are the obvious exception
  8. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    I'd agree with that.
    I was always a bit of a late person - but it drives my OH potty, who is a perennially early person - so now we manage to be just about on time...but having children does make it all much harder, especially when they were babies!
  9. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

  10. I agree that mobile phones can make it worse, especially if you are waiting for a tradesman, or for a delivery. They are already late, when they will phone you, telling you that they will now be X minutes late. This goes on repeatedly until, finally, they phone to tell you that they will now not be able to make it. [​IMG]
  11. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    I make every effort to be early or at least on time.
    Time management is not however my forte, and although I always make the effort to be early, I invariably end up being late. I personally find it very frustrating, and I hate the stress it puts me under, never mind others.
    Yes, mobile phones have helped a little, in that I can phone ahead and say I am running behind - tbh I usually phone my husband and get him to phone the person, as I cannot actually deal with telling the person I am running late.
    I am usually only a few minutes late, but even that stresses me.
    Have those of you who get very stressed about people being late, ever thought about it from the perspective of the person who is late? I always set about getting ready with the best of intentions and with enough time, but something unexpected almost always happens, or something always goes wrong.
    While on my way, I think of all kinds of excuses to make, because "I got delayed..." doesn't seem enough. I think I will blame it on the traffic, but that won't work if other people are making it on time, and then I think of something else, and the reason why that won't work etc. I therefore usually end up overcompensating, which makes it sound false anyway.
    Inevitably, I end up arriving in a very stressed state. It's not always down to bad manners.

  12. My parents are chronicaly late. As a result I'm paranoid about being late. But because I know things can happen I always either meet people at home (mine or theirs) or in a cafe / pub / somewhere warm with a toilet.
  13. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    No, because if they are ALWAYS running late then they are not sorting out their lives properly - they need to make further allowances.
    It is bullcarp to say unexpected occurances continuously happen just to the person who is always late but not to those who make it on time.
    The stress of the person running late is of their own creation and is not something about which I, if I was the sap left hanging around, would give a damn.
  14. I would never wait up to 45 minutes for someone. I'd go home.
  15. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I was an idiot. Now, as sassh has said, I would arrange to meet somewhere indoors . . . . . . if I ever went anywhere anymore to meet people . . . . . . now i just go to other peoples houses, and they to mine . . . . . life is so much simpler when you have a minimalist social life.[​IMG]
  16. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    If something unexpected always happens, then by now it should be expected and you should allow time to deal with it.
    I binned off a 'friend' who was continually late. We'd always miss the star of films, plays etc She always turn up at least 30 minutes late, sometimes more, with never a hint of an apology. In the end, I got rid.
  17. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    That's the bit that gets me.
  18. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    And me - just one more symptom of the selfishnesses of the perpetually late
  19. We get everywhere (too) early because my OH insists on leaving enough time for delays on route - hence hours spent at airports waiting to check in! We arrived a day early at the Alhambra recently and weren't allowed in - but we were both to blame for that!
  20. May2

    May2 Established commenter

    Our daughter drives us mad never being ready for anything. She has always been a night person and not a morning person. From the age of 5 she would read in bed till at least 10. o'clock. Now as an adult, mid twenties, she finds it really difficult to get up in time for work. She has flexi time and finds it difficult to get to work for 10.00 a.m. She always takes hours getting ready to leave. When she was at school her brother used to get fed up telling the bus driver his sister was just coming!
    I used to think she would get better as she got older but it hasn't happened. Even now when we go and stay with her, we plan a time to go out and say at least 15 mins before we need to leave and she can't do it.It has led to many frustrating arguments over the years when all the family have been waiting for her.

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