1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Public nudity & assault - Is anyone to blame here?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Vince_Ulam, Jan 2, 2018.


Who should know better?

  1. The woman alone

    1 vote(s)
  2. The man alone

    13 vote(s)
  3. Both the woman and the man

    18 vote(s)
  1. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I can't get my head round this! You're having sex - surely intimate touching/groping is all part of it?

    Or have I been doing it wrong all these years?
  2. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    That's why a detailed contract is required before there is any sign of interest in pursuing existence to a sexual climax.
  3. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    According to the linked article, it wasn't that he touched them, it was that he grabbed them so hard that she was crying in pain and asking him to stop to the point that she was left with severe bruising. The basis of his conviction being quashed was that the magistrate was incorrect in convicting him of indecent assault, because he was implicitly given permission to touch her breasts during the sexual encounter.
    From the linked article:
    [His advocate] said that the charge of indecent assault was never appropriate for the case and that his client should have been charged with common assault or grave and criminal assault instead.

    I would hope that the vast majority of people, on seeing their sexual partner crying and in pain, would stop. Actually I'd expect them to stop the second they were asked to stop, and not wait until someone is actually crying in pain.
  4. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Perfectly correct but I came across a report that they were indulging in consensual rough sex and that she had particularly excluded his feeling of her breasts. It's this sort of detail that makes me think of a contract rather than going along with whatever happens until one party gets to the point of saying 'Stop' and bringing and end to the festivities until a more agreeable path is negotiated.
    Vince_Ulam likes this.
  5. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    I think contracts (written or at least verbally agreed in advance) are common in the bdsm community where a high level of trust in the other person is necessary and people may not be in a position to say yes or no either physically or because it would break the 'scene'. But even then there are safewords which override everything and stop things until whatever the problem was is sorted out.

    Personally, i think it's perfectly possible to indicate what you like/don't like, what you want to continue or what you want to stop, without bringing proceedings to a halt or needing a contract. The only way it's gonna be a mood killer is if that person doesn't actually stop and it becomes an issue.

    Especially in the early days of a sexual relationship, you're not going to get everything right and what you might feel is a good touch (perhaps because others haven't minded), is actually unpleasant or even painful for your new partner. Simply saying before 'you can do this but not do this' doesn't account for someone simply not liking how you do something they're normally willing to do, or wanting you to do it more gently/slowly, as seems to be the case here etc... Communication during sex is just as important as before and it's everyone's responsibility to listen to what they're being told and act accordingly.
    racroesus likes this.
  6. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Urgh... demands demands demands... now you want talking too...

    [this is a joke comment]
    racroesus likes this.
  7. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I think we are in agreement.
  8. Calpurnia99

    Calpurnia99 Star commenter

    How did I get so lucky? All my partners managed to provide a jolly good time without my ever having to call the Police.
  9. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Word of mouth recommendations?
  10. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Jesus wept! Just knee 'em in the nuts!

    Oi! I told you my baps were out of bounds!
  11. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    I was gonna say something inappropriate like 'if it was you I'd be like, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't spoil it by talking' but then I thought better of it.

    lanokia likes this.
  12. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    I've not seen Tinder, which was how these two met, but I wonder whether a profile's interests might be construed in any way as a contract in the future.

Share This Page