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Problems with nursery nurse :(

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by handrail, Jul 5, 2008.

  1. handrail

    handrail New commenter

    Also posted on NQT forum the other day...

    I've had a very bad week and need to get this off my chest...

    Basically she has undermined me and bullied me from the beginning. I started my NQT year in October and I took over from a very experienced teacher. The NN didn't take kindly to the change, she and the other teacher had worked together for 3 years. The other teacher told me that the NN didnt have much confidence and that the nursery was always as much hers as the teachers. I took this on board and appreciate that she had lots of experience of working in nursery. I am 24, ten years younger than her.

    Anyway everything i do is wrong (even putting the toys away in the cupboard wrong) and the other teacher would have never done it like that. I'm not the sort of person who likes confrontation so I didn't say anything for about the first term but one day I snapped: she said i hadnt asked her if i could take the children outside. She moans all day every day about home stuff and school stuff. She is very controlling even with the children and seems to have OCD about cleaning up, if a bit of sand goes on the floor, she's straight over cleaning it up and shouting at the children. I have spoken to my mentor who was aware that other people have commented about her moaning and being very negative. She really gets me down in the dumps and makes me feel rubbish, even though the headteacher has told me how well I have done. It was nice to know that it wasn't just me who had noticed her negative attitude. The other NQT actually said to me 'How do you put up with that?!' Anyway this week I have had enough. I went home for lunch one day because I felt like crying. She ruined the trip yesterday and knocked all the fun out of it for the children.

    The good news is I have just been offered a job at a different school as reception teacher as of September and I cannot wait to leave.

    Has anybody else had difficulties with their TA?

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. handrail

    handrail New commenter

    Also posted on NQT forum the other day...

    I've had a very bad week and need to get this off my chest...

    Basically she has undermined me and bullied me from the beginning. I started my NQT year in October and I took over from a very experienced teacher. The NN didn't take kindly to the change, she and the other teacher had worked together for 3 years. The other teacher told me that the NN didnt have much confidence and that the nursery was always as much hers as the teachers. I took this on board and appreciate that she had lots of experience of working in nursery. I am 24, ten years younger than her.

    Anyway everything i do is wrong (even putting the toys away in the cupboard wrong) and the other teacher would have never done it like that. I'm not the sort of person who likes confrontation so I didn't say anything for about the first term but one day I snapped: she said i hadnt asked her if i could take the children outside. She moans all day every day about home stuff and school stuff. She is very controlling even with the children and seems to have OCD about cleaning up, if a bit of sand goes on the floor, she's straight over cleaning it up and shouting at the children. I have spoken to my mentor who was aware that other people have commented about her moaning and being very negative. She really gets me down in the dumps and makes me feel rubbish, even though the headteacher has told me how well I have done. It was nice to know that it wasn't just me who had noticed her negative attitude. The other NQT actually said to me 'How do you put up with that?!' Anyway this week I have had enough. I went home for lunch one day because I felt like crying. She ruined the trip yesterday and knocked all the fun out of it for the children.

    The good news is I have just been offered a job at a different school as reception teacher as of September and I cannot wait to leave.

    Has anybody else had difficulties with their TA?

    Thanks for listening.
     
  3. How awful, I really feel for you.
    But good news about the new job!

     
  4. handrail

    handrail New commenter

    Thank you, I'm so excited about it :) Just feel like telling her how miserable she's made me over the last year!
     
  5. I know exactly how you feel. I had similar issues with a nursery nurse a couple of years back. When she left everyone relaxed and we have a lovely team now. For the year and a half I worked with her she bullied me and made me feel worthless and incapable of doing my job. If it wasn't for the support my wonderful family and other supportive colleagues gave, I would not have stayed on.
    When you leave I would tell her and the head how you feel in a diplomatic way, because otherwise she will only go and do the same to another teacher. She has to understand that a good early years setting relies on good teamwork, and that she ought to work on her people skills. Good luck with your new job, and I'm sorry that this year has been so awful for you x
     
  6. First of all, well done on the successful completion of your NQT year and your new job.

    I imagine that many of us have had difficulties at some stage with support staff in some form or another so you are not alone in this. We are all individuals etc etc. I think that it is a shame that colleges do not seem to guide or advise students in how to manage other adults despite the increasing numbers of staff in many schools. It is difficult for young teachers to manage more established, experienced and older staff alongside all the other 'new' things to learn in their first year. Your NN could have all kinds of problems of her own to deal with - I don't know. I wonder if your mentor could have picked up on this sooner and also given you support and advice. You see! That's something that you'll be able to do when you are a mentor. It's all a learning experience. (Gives sigh and nods knowingly).

    Sorry to hear that your first year hasn't been quite what you expected but grit your teeth til the end of term, put it behind you and think about the future.

    Good luck.
     
  7. handrail

    handrail New commenter

    Thanks for your replies :) I feel better for writing it all down. I'm sure my boyfriend is sick of me going on about at home each night too but it's hard to leave it at school. I've decided I am going to have a quiet word with the head before I leave, I get on well with him and I think he might already realise what she is like. Like you said, it's not fair for the next teacher is it?!

    The next trauma will be taking our nursery children over to the dinner hall for lunch this week - she keeps on telling me how "absolutely horrendous" it is going to be!!! ARGH!!!
     
  8. So sorry to hear this has happened to you.

    I have to say that this can happen at any stage of your career and you are not alone. I don't think that there are any hard and fast rules, but I bet you can think of ways that you might have handled it differently for next time.

    However confident you are in your abilities there is just a little niggle that the more experienced nursery nurse might be right. When you work so closely with somebody, it can really pull you down.


    Now you have another job, I don't know that I would mention it to your present head- just let it go- what is there to be gained?. Chances are that he has an idea about your nn. anyway. Leave on a positive note and move on to your new post.

    Next time, would you sit down together and go through what you might expect with the nursery nurse? Define your own priorities eg learning comes before housekeeping for you, you like to use positive language with the children and avoid a raised voce etc.., ask for suggestions re rewards systems. ask what she enjoys doing with the children, etc.

     
  9. I had a similar problem witha member of staff I work with, every now and thaen it comes to a head and either me or someone else has to talk to her. We are lucky that we work in a large team so it's not just me. Poor you I think you've done well to last the year withot going to the head. Good luck with the new job! :)
     
  10. Hi,
    I know this was posted 2 1/2 years ago but just wanted to tell you that I am in a VERY similar situation at the moment. I'm an NQT, first job in a nursery, working with a nursery nurse who has been there for 3 years and used to work with a very experienced teacher and all the things you said yours used to do...mine does too. It really does come down to bullying at the end of the day, she laughs at displays I put up, questions most decisions I make (which can be very challenging when I find it hard to make those decision in the first place because of my lack of experience in EYFS but put on my assertive head anyway), is slightly OCD about resources and mess and it really gets me down. It comes to a head about once every half term where she usually ends up crying and blames it all on me but I have a very understanding head thankfully and he is doing all he can to support me.
    Just wondered how your situation all panned out in the end?
    eeusk
     
  11. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    I had problems with the NNEB in our nursery for quite a long time, and she had problems with me. Not that she laughed at displays or ruined trips or was OTT about tidiness. That would have been horrible. But she had professional experience with nursery children and I did not. She knew the setting and I was a bit hazy about it, coming, as I did, from another part of the school.
    On the other hand, I was less concerned with things like which coloured chairs went with which tables. There were routines that worked and some that it was fun to change. We had a couple of major ding-dongs and a lot of mutual unspoken resentments. We are now very good friends. If she tells me what to do, I tell her to stop being an old bossy boots. She returns the compliment when I do something silly. Our friendship, hard won, is now rock solid, and we sometimes joke about all the mistakes we made along the way.
    I'm not saying that the above posters aren't justified in their grievances. The NNEB in our nursery would agree. But I'd just like to make the point that the relationship between NNEB and teacher is a peculiarly delicate and tricky one. Not everyone reading those posts and identifying them will have experienced bullying.
    I'd have no problem about the NNEB reading this post. BTW, I can't call her 'my' NNEB. I just can't.
    The issus of teacher expertise being needed in nurseries is a bit of a conundrum.

     
  12. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    I had problems with the NNEB in our nursery for quite a long time, and she had problems with me. Not that she laughed at displays or ruined trips or was OTT about tidiness. That would have been horrible. But she had professional experience with nursery children and I did not. She knew the setting and I was a bit hazy about it, coming, as I did, from another part of the school.
    On the other hand, I was less concerned with things like which coloured chairs went with which tables. There were routines that worked and some that it was fun to change. We had a couple of major ding-dongs and a lot of mutual unspoken resentments. We are now very good friends. If she tells me what to do, I tell her to stop being an old bossy boots. She returns the compliment when I do something silly. Our friendship, hard won, is now rock solid, and we sometimes joke about all the mistakes we made along the way.
    I'm not saying that the above posters aren't justified in their grievances. The NNEB in our nursery would agree. But I'd just like to make the point that the relationship between NNEB and teacher is a peculiarly delicate and tricky one. Not everyone reading those posts and identifying them will have experienced bullying.
    I'd have no problem about the NNEB reading this post. BTW, I can't call her 'my' NNEB. I just can't.
    The issue of teacher expertise being needed in nurseries is a bit of a conundrum.

     
  13. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    sorry: identifying with them
     
  14. I feel just the same at my school. I moved into reception last september as I had been offered a permanent contract if I agreed to move from the juniors. I am working with a very sly, trouble causing nursery nurse. preveiously, before starting in reception, other people had warned me what she was like but I tried to see the good in her. However, every day i leave work ready to cry with frustration. She never has anything positive to say about anything I do and instaed, keeps complaining to the other reception teacher when I have 'done something wrong'. The other teacher then goes on to tell me off for every thing I have done wrong at the weekly planning meeting. I can take criticism but when it is constant, it gets me really fed up. On top of this, she is constantly playing the members of staff off to each other. It is a horrible environment
     

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