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Pretending to have feelings that you don't have

Discussion in 'Personal' started by suz3, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. *sighs deeply and sorrowfully*
     
  2. Are you thinking about Katie Price? I often wonder about some celebrities when it just seems obvious that the relationship is wrong. But you don't know everything so can't really judge... but you aren't usually wrong.
     
  3. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Because it makes their life simpler and easier, in their mind at least, perhaps?
     
  4. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    LY, can we have specifics?
     
  5. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    No - not particularly. Although tbh if I was KP then I'd have gone ahead and married the bloke anyway just to really really irritate all the people who said that I shouldn't.
    It's a general question and one that I can't get to the bottom of. As far as it applies to me, I know that the bloke in question really doesn't feel that way, I know that it isn't in his interests to say that he does and that it will benefit him not at all whether I believe him or not, and I know that he would really prefer not to live with the consequences of upsetting me.
    And yet it still happens. He doesn't have to say anything, so why say anything at all?
    I pretty much know the answer in my case but people seem to do it a lot. Why? Where's the gain?
     
  6. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Are you talking about declarations of love?
     
  7. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Yea, but how?
    You declare undying love to someone when you don't actually feel it. Either they believe you, in which case you're saddled with a seriously awkward situation and lots of potential upset, or they don't, in which case you just look like a bit of a ******.
    It's blatantly obvious to me that in such a situation you should keep your mouth shut. And I'm not at the front of the emotionally intelligent queue.
     
  8. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Yup, sorry... bit too cryptic for me own good there.
     
  9. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Why not? What's the relationship?
     
  10. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Maybe he is working up to a Meatloaf aria.
     
  11. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Father of my child. And I now a) have a small baby b) am living somewhere that requires me to have the morals of a nun c) would take a helluva lot of persuading to complicate our relationship, after grinding my teeth down to nothing trying to put it on a more stable footing d) don't want to get too physically close to him in case I 'accidentally' try to bash him on the head with something heavy for the way that he treated me during the pregnancy.
     
  12. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Go on... my mind's gone blank and I can only think of 'Paradise ByThe Dashboard Life'
     
  13. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

  14. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    He has seen Madonna and Child and now wants to be a part of it.
    He won't see the complications you see. It sounds like he is trying to persuade you.
     
  15. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    two out of three ain't bad
    love, want, need, I think
     
  16. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Of course. I was thinking perhaps Dead Ringer For Love ("you got the kind of mind that don't have to think") but that one's better. [​IMG]
    I know that he doesn't mean it, but nonetheless it's upsetting and unsettling every time he goes through a phase of it (we're just at the end of one, I think). And I just don't see the point of it.
    Y'know, just before I met him I watched the film "He's Just Not That Into You". It's an awful film, imo, but I understood and approved of the general concept of it. Someone leaves you alone = not interested. Someone pursues you = interested.
    Introducing grey areas inbetween is cheating and I don't like it.
    Also, it is one of my worst fears to end up trapped in a relationship with someone that I didn't want to be with - why would anyone run the risk?
    Anyway, sorry to harp on about me - this was supposed to be a general discussion. Have you ever confessed to feelings for someone that you didn't have and if so, could you give me an insight into why?

     
  17. Listen carefully. I never lie about how I feel. I never put anything on here that I wouldn't say to a person's face.
    He let you down when you needed him. Now, for whatever reason, he fancies himself as In A Stable Relationship. Taking Responsibility. Remorseful. A Daddy.
    It will wear off as quickly as it wore on.
    Whatever he is telling you, he had a much better better opportunity to tell you when you found yourself up the duff. If you're feeling twitchy for sex, there are plenty of men out there who wouldn't treat a total stranger the way he has treated you. Shag them instead. Don't forgive and forget. It is weakness in you and opportunism in him.


     
  18. You mention him a lot - well, relatively speaking. Are you sure you are not in love with HIM?
    Apologies - an advance if you hit the roof at my audacity...
     
  19. ...IN advance...
     
  20. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    No.
     

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