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pregnant - reprimanded for being moody????!!!!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by noblesteed, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. Maybe because pregnancy has made my hormones fluctuate ridiculously? Perhaps because I burst into tears (at home!!) over nothing? One day I will feel happy and the next day horrendous and stressed about everything? Or perhaps because I am barely able to walk due to sciatic/ligament pain that none of my health carers are able to assist me with?

    I feel like certain members of staff are taking this opportunity to have a dig at a senior member of staff rather than actually just get on with doing their jobs. Perhaps they are worried because the HT is covering me for 3 weeks until my mat cover teacher starts? They seem to think it doesn;t matter what I tell them to do...
    I have given the HT a list of all the things they are expected to do as part of the routine in a mixed EYFS/KS1 classroom. It's their fault then if they don;t do what they are supposed to.
  2. When I was pregnant I was so bloody happy that even when the hormones kicked in I just reminded myself how lucky I was (see forum posts on 'Trying to conceive' to put things in perspective).
    Count your blessings

  3. I completely understand what you are going through, but I have to agree that you should think of it as a health issue and get some help. If you can't control how you express your emotions, especially at work, then it suggests that you are not coping rather than it just being normal healthy stress.
    I have suffered depression in the past and am currently off work with pelvic pain. With both conditions I had to make the decision that I was unable to work because I could not do the job to my normal standard and with my normal behaviour. When you do work through things like this, it is hard to understand and cope with people who seem to have no sympathy for what you are going through. I have been there myself and got really upset when people had a go at me. I used to think why are they like that, can't they see that I am suffering, but still trying to work? I thought they were ungrateful and lacked empathy. This made me more depressed and stressed. I came to realise though that when you are at work, you are expected to do a job. Why should people put up with you being moody/stressed/different in a work situation?
    I am not saying everyone will understand that you have stress/pain if you go off sick. There is still a lot of stigma and lack of understanding with mental illness especially and people do pride themselves on working through pregnancy with the normal discomforts. I can only say that they do not understand what it is like to either not be able to control your emotions or suffer the agony of an abnormal painful condition and the obvious effect on your mood. I have found that some people have looked down on me and that is upsetting, but I do feel that I have done the right thing in being off sick and realising myself that I cannot cope. I have found GPs and other people who have been through something similar very helpful to talk to as they understand. You will not get everyone at work to understand, but you could just end up upsetting them more if you continue to work and cannot speak to them as you did. As other people in this post have said, you should be able to maintain how you speak to/deal with people at work unless you are ill. If you are ill, then it is only fair to you, your baby and your work to get treatment and take some time off until you feel better.
  4. To add.... I have been told that there is not a lot they can do with the pelvic pain during pregnancy. You just have to grin and bear it to a certian extent. I find rest eases it- the more I do the worse I get until I'm screaning in pain (not a good thing to do in teaching). Also modify your movements so that you keep your knees together. I was told to take paracetamols, but I only do this if I can't stand the pain. I was referred to the physio who gave me a support band and crutches. These both really help. She also gave me an open appointment for a month after the birth to get follow-up exercises then if I am still in pain.
    Good luck with everything.
  5. Hi Noblesteed
    Just try to 'tow the party line' and politely ask them to do the expected duties. Try to write down incidents where you have had to ask/remind them and then, if they have not done the tasks. That way you have a record/log of incidents rather than just saying to the HT - "I frequently have to ask.....". You'll have examples to give.
    You can either do this one of two ways really:
    a) with the HT/someone from SLT present, just have it out with them in a civilised manner. E.g. I'm sorry if I have snapped at you but being pregnant has made me more hormonal. However, when I ask you to ...... I really don't expect to have to ask again and again. As professionals, I expect you to do these tasks straight away/correctly blah blah. And also, although I understand that you may have felt intimidated or worried about approaching me, I would have preferred that you came to speak to me either as a group or as indivduals before going to HT. If I upset anyone, I would prefer the chance to discuss it with them face-to-face first.
    if you feel that you can't take the direct approach -
    b) keep notes and log their 'tardiness/laziness/failure to do tasks...... and go to HT regularly to complain about them.

    Pregnancy is a precious time and if work/colleagues are really getting to you then seriously think about getting signed off/finish for Mat leave early.
    Good luck with it all!
  6. Thanks for all your advice everyone :) I did go to my GP about it all and he said if things didn't improve he would give me medication (!) which obviously I want to avoid...
    I have since been diagnosed with SPD after having 3 weeks off being unable to walk! I have a support belt, walking stick and exercises to do. Physio was unsure about whether or not I should be at work as I can;t bend down, sit on little chairs etc... Prob would be fine if I wasn't eyfs! Having discussed it with my husband we think I may be a bit depressed probably due to the SPD. Thankfully I only have 2 weeks left after xmas to get through before mat leave starts.
    However I went back after my 2 weeks off for the last 2 days of term. BIG mistake, most of the staff wouldn't even speak to me. One of the TAs is really unhappy because they have been picking on her too, so at least it's not just me! So maybe I'm not just 'going mad' ????
    ANyway we had a meeting at the end of the last day of term, the Head and I had had a long discussion and decided it would be a good way to clear the air. BIG mistake again! I got accused by certain TAs of ignoring people, causing an atmosphere (having only been back 2 days and having gone out of my way to be nice!) as did the unhappy TA. I got shouted at by another teacher about being rude to him and he began to make personal remarks, shaking .. it was just BIZARRE! The oddest meeting I have ever been in! anyway the HT said nothing... Offered no solutions... I went home in a terrible state, didn;t sleep all night, couldn't stop crying, husband went MAD! Had to go to GP next morning to get BP etc checked out for baby's sake... Was diagnosed with stress symptoms. I have had a rubbish xmas because of all this, can;t stop thinking about it all! I am so upset because I should be looking forward to having my little baby (who took a long time to come) and cherishing this exciting time, instead it is being ruined by all this worry!!!
    So now I don't really know what to do! Other than take a job in sainsburys.
  7. Sorry you're having to deal with this, but if you get signed off within 4 weeks of your mat leave start date for any illness, you are entitled to start mat leave early. This might be a good option for you xx
  8. Coolgiraffe

    Coolgiraffe Occasional commenter

    That is awful treatment! Maybe you should get your union to sort something out? It's not really something you should have to worry about with a baby on the way.
    Don't let them win by quitting your job though, maybe that is the easy way out for them.
    I know what you mean about working in EYFS, it's extremely tough - mentally and physically.
    Take care and I really do hope you can get this sorted somehow.
    Coolgiraffe xxxxxxxxxx
  9. Its them not you, what lovely supportive people you work with! At least your time off has helped you put it into perspective and realise this. If it continues just get signed off until mat leave. They cant make you go on mat leave until 36 weeks so just make sure it is for pregnancy related stuff not stress.
  10. I have just read this thread. You poor thing! I am a nursery teacher and it was tough to keep going to work each day battling the exhaustion and pelvic girdle pain. And that was without the added stress of colleagues behaving peculiarly... I hope that you are finishing this week if you haven't already. I think that you will forget about work quickly once you are at home. Throw yourself into maternity leave jobs such as pre washing baby clothes, arranging the nursery, cleaning the house. Hopefully your physical pain comes and goes. I certainly have periods of immobility and others where I run around like a nutter with a cloth in my hand. I have been baking furiously. Don't think about what awaits you should you return to work and if you do then try to convince yourself that the TAs will have quit before you get there and you will have a fab new team. Take good care of yourself. Going overdue is so awful that you need to fill your day and your thoughts with baby related things. I am five days overdue. Good luck and forget about work for the sake of your lovely baby xx

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