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Potty training time up...

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by hhhh, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    My first son is due to start preschool in Sept ( he will be2 and a half). He is not potty trained yet. Obviously it's only about 6 weeks though and he doesn't seem to want to sit on a potty. Trouble is they won't take kids unless they are totally dry and in normal pants, trainer pants not allowed. What do I do? I don't want to rush and stress him, and lots of my friends withboys and some with girls say they weren't properly dry till 3 years.
    But I will lose the deposit I had to pay, and due to losing my job in the cuts etc can't really afford to waste it, and I might not find a place at any other preschool at this point. I didn't know until a new parents evning last week that this preschool insists on them being dry, otherwise I might have thought twice before enrolling him.
    What's best for him's what matters, if I end up losing the money and having to stay at home with him that's how it is, I'm not stressing him just to force him to comply, but any advice?
     
  2. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Apparently (I have no experience yet of this!) they can learn in about a week once they're ready. But a friend of a friend told me that to encourage her boy onto his potty, her husband did a kind of territorial thing with it, sitting on it himself so that it became more attractive to the little boy. (No idea if Dad actually used it! But apparently, once the little boy saw Daddy on his potty, he liked the idea of using it himself a whole lot more!)
    Does your son know when he is about to wee/poo and can tell you? If so, could you get a toilet seat for him and miss out the potty stage?
     
  3. I would do that to be honest. Try it for a couple of weeks, just take him out of nappies, let him run around naked if the weather's nice (saves on washing) and just encourage wees and poos in the toilet. Don't make a big fuss if he has an accident, just get him to help clean it up and remind him that he should try to tell you if he needs to go. I would also let him wear a nappy if you go out til he's got the hang of it.
     
  4. My son (just turned 3 years) completely refused any attempts to get him on the potty, we gave up for a while, 3 days before his 3rd birthday I told him he would be 3 on Saturday so needed to start going on the toilet as he will be a big boy. He came upstairs with me, sat on the toilet and had a wee, dry in the day since... amazing
     
  5. also.... I'm cross reading back your post
    a preschool cannot make that statement!!! it is not inclusive at all, I suggest you request to see their policy on Equality and Diversity. If they are saying this then I would be concerned whether it is the best place to take your child.
    Take Care x
     
  6. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    No, they can't do that. 2 1/2???? Flipping heck!!!
     
  7. Actually I agree that it's not inclusive- we have two FS children who are not trained for one reason or another and we couldn't say that they couldn't come to school! What if a child has delayed development or other SEN? What do they do if a newly trained 2 and a half year old has an accident, punish them? Doesn't sound like a nice place to me either.... sorry.
     
  8. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    They absolutely can't expect a 2.5 year old to be potty trained. It's ridiculous. And how come he can start so early? I thought they could only start the term after they are 3. At the preschool I've enquired about for my son, they won't take him until the September after his 3rd birthday, when he'll be 3.75 years old!
     
  9. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    They say they don't have any nappy changing facilities. It's the preschool of a local primary, all other state schools in our area seem to have a very high staff turnover, I chose this as the staff seem to really care about the kids, though I know you can never know for sure, but thanks for letting me know about that, maybe I should check, do you know if the policy would apply to all preschools?Thanks
     
  10. all, yes I absolutely agree and also the fact that often boys are often later than girls. However, it concerns me that there is a great emphasis on readiness without acceptance that all the pre-readiness stufff (having the potty out, bare botom time at home etc) is important. After all we don't wait until children are ready and capable of using cutlery before we give them it, we let them have lots of practice (while we clean it all up!) even though we know they will not be competent at it for many months. We accept in this area of development that they require practice and time to learn and toileting is no different. I agree there is no need for a battle over the issue, that is not at all healthy or helpful and some children need more time and more gentle steps than others. However, how can we be sure a child is ready (or not) when what they might be lacking is experience?
    Both my children were later to be dry at night. With my daughter I waited and waited for the signs that she was ready (you know, the magical dry nappies on waking...) they never came! When she was about to start school I decided that actually this was no good and we needed to try - within a couple of weeks she was consistently dry, only two or three wet nights altogether. Had I not decided to go with having the experience how much longer would she still have worn pull ups and been wet. There wasn't an issue with her readiness it was an issue with experience and maybe even expectation. x


     
  11. They may not have but that doesn't mean that a blanket continence policy isn't unlawful.What would they do if a child with a disability that affceted their continence do if they wanted to go there?
    Is the pre-school/nursery maintained or is it a private one that rents room in school? I only ask because most of the maintained nusrery classes in our LA still only take children in their pre-school year. Though one or two are starting to take children as soon as they are eligible for their free places none take them under 3.
    Most of the settings in our area use their disabled toilet facilities as their changing area and use a changing matt on the floor. The other issue is that often children, if they are only attending their 2.5/3 hr session don't acutally need changing (unless of course they have soiled). If they come in to setting in a fresh clean nappy it is unlikely that they will get so wet as to need changing in such a short space of time. Though this is obviously not the case if they're there all day.
     
  12. I am a chilled mummy (did BLW and dealt with the mess with no worries) but I must admit I don't like the idea of pee and poo all over the place- we will do naked time out in the garden!! I am fully expecting accidents but the thought of just letting her wander round the house with no nappy on, playing with her toys etc, then picking up or wiping up the mess when it happens, sounds gross.
     
  13. Not exactly related to the OP but this is what were doing......This may be totally bonkers, but my Mum advised me to get a potty as soon as LO could sit up well for a decent period of time. Then, whenever I spotted her 'poo face' (you can't miss it!) to whip her nappy off and sit her on it. I was really sceptical, but it works! She is nearly 10 months and I have now started sitting her on it immediately after meals for 5 or 10 minutes (with some books or a bit of Cbeebies!) as this is usually when she does a poo. She seems to find it much easier pooing in her potty, after all it can't be that comfortable doing it sat down with a nappy on.
    It doesn't work every time but we've had a few wees and poos in it, now my Mum has her 2 days a week while I'm at work and she's really going for it! I went to their house for lunch today and she asked me why I hadn't brought the potty with me! I think we'll stick to home for now, but as she's pretty regular I hope to be able to get fewer and fewer dirty nappies.
     

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