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Poorly, pregnant and stressed :( Sorry, this is a moany rant.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by lauraflora, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. Apologies for lack of paragraphs too...I'm on my phone. I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second baby. The pregnancy has been difficult so far and it's showing no signs of getting any easier. The pregnancy was a bit of a surprise in the first place (wasn't planned but very much wanted!) and it's been difficult from the very start. I started being violently sick at 4 weeks and by 5 weeks I was in hospital on a drip because of dehydration. I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum which I was told would probably clear up by 14-16 weeks, this was around Christmas. By this point I'd had a further hospital admission with dehydration and again needed the drip. I tried to go back to work in January but it was a total fail. I lasted until lunchtime the first day and the second day I didn't even make it to first lesson as I'd thrown up dropping my daughter off at nursery and then in the staffroom toilets. I went home, saw the doctor who signed me off again. Within a fortnight I was admitted to hospital again for 3 days (previous stays were 2 days) to be put on the drip to rehydrate me. Again. I've now been told that as I'm still suffering and I'm 20 weeks it's likely I'll be suffering off and on until the end of the pregnancy. If I'm not being sick, I feel like I'm on the brink of it. Yesterday I actually managed to eat something for breakfast, lunch and dinner which is momentous! However this morning I've already been sick 3 times. I'm taking anti sickness meds but they don't seem to work all the time. They seem to reduce the vomiting for a few weeks but then it gets out of hand and I'm back in hospital on the drip. I am so worried about the impression I'm making on my dept and my school as I've only been there a year and I'm off right at the time where we need to be pushing the gcse kids. I'm so stressed about not being there even though I know I'm physically not well enough to be. I've got meetings with the Head and occupational health all asking me when I'm coming back and I just have no answers which I know puts them in a difficult position with supply etc and it's adding to my guilt. I'm still hoping I'll make a recovery and be back but it looks hopeless. The only real end I can see is giving birth which isn't until 15th June...unless I'm delivered early due to the hyperemesis. I'm seeing the midwife on Wednesday and the consultant the following week but the only treatment left for me to try is steroid treatment. Apparently it's very effective at relieving symptoms but carries risks and I don't want to risk harming my baby. Sorry about the moan, I'm just feeling so drained by constantly feeling/being sick, feeling guilty about work or stressing about the kids' gcse results.
  2. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I didn't want to read and run.
    I found my 2nd pregnancy harder than my first, but I was only physically sick twice so I can't begin to imagine how you feel. Even with nausea and being shattered and having a toddler to look after I felt bad enough so what you're feeling is at least 100 times worse.
    I wouldn't worry about school - you're not doing this on purpose. You're not the first member of staff to be pregnant and i'm sure you won't be the last. I was signed off when i was pregnant as I got so stressed with some very difficult classes and made myself ill.
    When you go back after your baby you'll be working hard then.
    Just focus on hopefully feeling better soon and meeting your baby soon. My son will be 3 on June 16th....wow, not that far off!
    How old is your first child?
  3. Dd is 2 on 24th March but luckily my mum is helping me out while I'm feeling so poorly, the rest of the time she's in nursery. DH is a teacher too so he's in that stressful period of "the final push" for the GCSEs. I know I'll be working hard when I do go back but I just feel so bad that I'm not there now, the timing couldn't have been worse. I know it'll all be worth it in June when I meet my baby and school will probably be the last thing on my mind!!
  4. I can't imagine how you're feeling in that my hyperemesis is well controlled with cyclizine so therefore have avoided hospital both pregnancies, and also felt reasonably fine after about 20 weeks as long as I take the meds. I know how completely awful I felt in the worst stages though, and how much I struggled with work and with looking after my toddler. Anyone who has not gone through hyperemesis may struggle to understand - it is not something that you can 'push through' or tolerate. I'm sorry that it is so stressful, but no guilt feelings allowed - it is cruel enough that you are going through all this without also feeling like it's somehow something you should feel bad about too.
    Got no advice, just lots of empathy. I have been on supply by part way through both pregnancies so whilst broke, bored (or looking after toddler in pregnancy 2!) and ill I didn't have to juggle the emotions of feeling like I was letting work down.
  5. I really feel for you as just being pregnant and having a straightforward pregnancy whilst teaching secondary at this time in the year is stressful enough.
    Despite loving my job and always having had the attitude of "I'll be fine, I'll power through with some drugs", I've decided that me and my baby must come first and have today had my third day off since Christmas as my back has been aching all weekend and a day on my feet with paracetomol just wouldn't cut it.
    You need to focus on you and baby first. I learned the hard way last year when I tore my knee ligaments and needed surgery. I went back to work on crutches after 4 days off, due to exam season and was aiming to work until my op at Easter. Stressed out, tired and having damaged my cartlidge aswell (potentially through being on my feet more than I needed to), I was signed off 4 weeks before my op in the middle of last minute exam prep/coursework submission time. By being off sooner I was able to accept a cancellation slot and walked down the aisle without crutches and in heels last summer.
    Everyone is just so busy at this time in the year that you need to look out for yourself - I had to point out a couple of weeks ago that I seemed to be getting more than my fair share of cover and still hadn't had a break duty taken off me. It was sorted within an hour of me saying something.
    Hugs T x
  6. Thanks for the replies. Just to add to everything else I've now been referred to physio for my SPD pains. My dd is 22 months but luckily she goes to nursery and to my mum's because I'm just incapable of looking after her during the day. My midwife appointment went well yesterday, heard baby's heartbeat which was lovely and focused me on why I'm going through all this hideousness. I've got a meeting with my Head on Monday (one of these attendance review meetings) and I'm terrified of throwing up. It's at 10am which is prime vomiting time. On Thursday I'm seeing the consultant so hopefully he'll sort me out with some effective meds. I really need to get back to work!!
  7. toeinwater

    toeinwater New commenter

    At least they'll know you're not making it up! [​IMG] Sorry! No idea what kind of hell you're going through but you have my sympathy.
  8. Yeah there is that I suppose! The only thing is I vomit with such force that I quite often "leak" a bit too!! It's a side of me that I don't really want my Head to see to be honest. I think I'd better go armed with a sick bowl and tena pants.
  9. FollyFairy

    FollyFairy Occasional commenter

    Do not be sorry! However, you must STOP worrying about school! Your health and your baby must be your top priority!I Do not feel guilty! Your HT gets paid lots of money to worry about supply, classes etc - you do not! If you feel like you are being hassled by your HT, get your union involved - your rights as an expectant mother are protected by law! Focus on you, rest, sleep and relax... all the best! xxx

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