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PND - Had enough and wish it was over :-(

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Thomas2010, Dec 18, 2010.

  1. I've been suffering from PND since having my baby. My GP is very supportive but I've tried 3 different ADs and councilling and nothing seems to work. No-one openly talks about this illness and I have now got to the stage where I can no longer cope. Everything is getting on top of me and I wish I could end it all. Please will someone help me?
  2. princessmelody

    princessmelody New commenter

    I'm not sure how much help I can be but I couldn't ignore your post. I haven't given birth yet (was due 2 days ago) but have suffered pre natal depression in early pregnancy. I know you feel hopeless at the moment but it WILL get better- because it has to. Have you spoken to friends/relatives/partner about this? How old is your baby now? Are you getting help day to day? Do you want to meet up with some of your teacher friends now it's the holidays? May take the edge off the day if you try to do something different. Perhaps try to break up the day into manageable chunks so everything isn't so overwhelming. Please please go back to your GP though. PND is a medical condition and needs to be treated as such. A friend of mine who has suffered has had weekly councilling sessions which have helped her but are not a quick fix and she still has off days but she is a lot better. I hope you can start moving forward soon and start to feel better. Best wishes, Melody x
  3. I absolutely agree with the previous poster who recommended counselling; I think this is a valuable part of dealing with any kind of depression. I haven't suffered from PND myself but a friend of mine has and I know she felt that talking everything over was really helpful. She did take medication too but I don't know what it was called. My friend felt so guilty that she should be happy but wasn't that she didn't tell any of us how bad she felt until she felt better. It was obvious, though, that she wasn't happy.
    PND is more common than we think but it's not talked about much. You are not alone; Katie Price apparently had it badly and I read an article recently about an actress called Davinia Taylor (I think) where she talked about having depression after having a baby. I know you must feel lonely and isolated, but you are NOT.
    Please go back to your GP and ask for counselling sessions. Tell someone you trust and know well: your partner, a sibling, parent, friend...anyone. You will feel less lonely and less like you're doing this alone. Take care of yourself - rest as much as possible, put your feet up when your baby is napping, and make sure you get a little time to yourself as often as possible. Having a baby is overwhelming anyway, but feeling like you're pushing through mud makes it worse. If you have a little time to yourself, you may feel a little more like yourself.
    I hope you feel better soon.
  4. Please don't give up.... you can get better and you will get better. In the depths of depression it may not seem like you will ever crawl out of this pit, but with supporT, determination, medication and hard work you can.

    PND is something which is ignored and swept under the carpet- but it is common and you are not alone. Keep going to see the GP and tell them EXACTLY how bad you feel, keep going to the counselling. I would also reccommend trying hypnotherapy- find a local therapist and see what they can do- it may sound silly but it can help your mind see a light at the end of the tunnel where the meds will help you out the tunnel. The money you pay out on that could be worth it.

    There are small steps you can take which may help. I am not saying they will cure you- but keeping a healthy body will help a little.... eat well, get out for a walk everyday in the fresh air and avoid alcohol.

    Please, please hang in there
  5. This is serious. Tell health visitor or community mental health you are having suicidal thoughts. Is baby's father around - someone needs to take over the day to day care so you can focus on getting well. Don't let people fob you off with encouraging noises about how all new mother's feel like this. If no one will listen to your cries for help, get someone to call your doctor's surgery and tell them the state you are in. The middle of the night is the worst time because no one is available and the feelings are unbearable. I really feel for you and hope you can get the help you need.
  6. The advice given to you above is very sound.( Exercise and keeping company with others is also good advice , but I think your depression has passed the self help stage.)
    If you can get another person to go with you to the surgery that is also good advice. Professionals tend to take more notice if they feel that the baby or the famly are also at risk.
    ADs can take a few weeks to work so persevere.
    If you can, the day to day care of your baby by you is important for you both and if you can continue to do this with support than that will help you both, long term. I notice your post was very late at night- can you get somebody to help you with the babe at night so you can get to sleep. If you can't sleep then tell your Dr as this is a symtpom of PND and contributes to the confusion and the fatigue.

  7. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    My friend foundspeaking to a midwife about the birth helped her. I don't know if this is relative to you, but she had post traumatic stress after her birth/postnatl and found the afterbirth thoughts service really helpful.
    I do know that hers might be a differnt case, but if it could help at all wanted to suggest it.
  8. Thank you all; I was worried I would be ignored.
    I am meeting with my GP again on Tuesday. I will continue to take the ADs but I quite often forget. The baby's father is around; I am lucky to have him as I'm sure I'm a nightmare to live with at the moment.
    Thanks for the advice about speaking about the birth; I think this is something that may help me but the place where I delivered is no longer open (Stupid Government / NHS cutbacks!) Do you know how I will be able to contact someone to look at my labour notes?
    I haven't had any suicidal thoughts today but I feel completly exhausted as I can't remember the last time I slept through the night! I'm off school now though for the Xmas break so I'm hoping to be able to catch up on some sleep if my baby naps during the day. Although having said that my house is a state and could do with some attention and it's christmas at the weekend (that snuck up on me!) so I need to shop.
    I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just so hard to see it at the moment :-(
  9. Thanks for posting. let us know how you geT on.
    To gee yourself up on a practical level get a cleaning service in for a one off spring clean and perhaps get a cleaner for the New YeaR on a regular basis until you are feeling more like your oldself.
    It sounds extravagant, and won't cure PND I know but it will be one big load of your mind during this tricky time.

  10. I t will get batter, try to keep fighting on and keep seeing the doctors and tell them everything.... Can you set a reminder on your mobile phone- forgetting your ADs won't be helping (sorry to patronize).... Please don't give up. PND is horrible but nothing to be ashamed of.
  11. I didn't realise that you were holding down a job as well as looking after a baby. You deserve a medal. No wonder you are exhausted. It occurs to me that you maybe don't know other mums with babies the same age. Not the competitive type whose babies are all child prodigies but just good old ordinary mums with babies who are going through similar stages as yours. Other mums who you can ring up for a chat and who will say, "Come round this afternoon, the place is a tip, but who cares, we can clear a space and have a cuppa." It is really difficult when you are working to keep in touch with, say, a friend from ante-natal classes or the lady in the next bed who had a caesarian two days after you. But just think if there is anyone like this you can phone up and say "How are you? Do you fancy meeting up after Christmas?"
    Hope you make progress with your doctor's appointment.
    Thinking of you.
  12. Please let us know how you are. Did you get to the doctor's appointment? You know you can use this forum to articulate feelings that you may find hard to discuss and sometimes reading back can help to clear the muddle. It is totally anonymous and no one will judge you. (If they do, we'll punch their lights out, metaphorically). Hope you have managed to get some rest/sleep.

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