I love my job. I have truly made a difference to children's lives. I am good at what I do. Over 12 years I've had a succession of lesson observations with good or outstanding (one was a requires improvement...but it was to serve a political purpose and I no longer work for such idiots). I have worked in a state school and moved up to UPS1, and even worked a short while on L1. Due to circumstances in one school I was at for a very short time I 'needed' a job, any job. I took a position in a independent school which has served me well, but it really is not for me. I took a pay cut to take this job...and roughly I got £28k ft. The pay is not an issue. One of my issues is the 'indy' thing just isn't right...not in this school, in this situation...it just doesn't sit well with me. If this were my only problem I would look for another position. But it's not just that. I'm here in tears (again) over planning formats, data, assessments, lack of access to the usual SEN people that state schools get (I desperately need ed psych support for 2 children and sensory services for another), ludicrous times of staff meetings, ludicrous numbers of staff meetings, children some days being taught by unqualified staff... I seriously do not know what my next move is. In an ideal world I want a part time class teacher job in a state school 3 or 4 days a week. And, for my own sanity I need to leave at Easter. But what if all those tear inducing things follow me? And because of the job market here and notice deadlines it is likely I'll need to hand notice in without securing a job first. And I'm unlikely to find a part time job...most (all) seem to be full time. I'm just scared and not sure whether it'll all be worth it in the end. I want to stay teaching, I'm really good at it...but I've lost my enthusiasm, and want to find it again. And I want a life too! I don't want these tears either... (working) life shouldn't be this hard!