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PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! ASAP! THANKYOU!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by laineylou, Feb 8, 2011.

  1. Hi,
    recently i have had some difficulties at work concerning another member of staff who is senior to me. Although i didnt intend to (as the head can be difficult), i ended up telling the head how i felt about the situation. I then, on her advice, addressed it 1-1 with the person and reported back to the head as i was asked to. I told the head that i did not want the matter taken any further and that i felt confident knowing that the head now knew about the situation, that things would improve. She agreed and even went on to adivse me of what to say and do in the future should a similar situation arise. I was happy with this and drew a line under the event.
    However, the head has now called a meeting between herself, me and the individual concerned. Can i refuse to go seeing as i made it clear i wanted no further action taken?
     
  2. Hi,
    recently i have had some difficulties at work concerning another member of staff who is senior to me. Although i didnt intend to (as the head can be difficult), i ended up telling the head how i felt about the situation. I then, on her advice, addressed it 1-1 with the person and reported back to the head as i was asked to. I told the head that i did not want the matter taken any further and that i felt confident knowing that the head now knew about the situation, that things would improve. She agreed and even went on to adivse me of what to say and do in the future should a similar situation arise. I was happy with this and drew a line under the event.
    However, the head has now called a meeting between herself, me and the individual concerned. Can i refuse to go seeing as i made it clear i wanted no further action taken?
     
  3. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    It could be that the other member of staff has now complained about you. If the head has called a meeting like this I'd ask what it was about and see if you need to bring your union rep with you.
     
  4. This has crossed my mind. I have asked what the meeting is about but nothing was said. It all feels very wrong.
     
  5. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Probably the other member of staff feels a little aggrieved that you went to the HT in the first place instead of sorting it out with them directly. The HT almost certainly now just wants to ensure you can both say what you want to and express how events have made you feel, but with her there to act as mediator should one be needed. Probably is nothing more than a quick chat to make sure everything is sorted. I'd just turn up with a smile and a willingness to eat some humble pie myself as well as hope the other person has some too.

    But if you want to ask for details, refuse to go or take a union rep with you then you are entitled to do so, not sure I'd go down that route myself as it does make you look a little antagonistic. Probably depends what the issue was and what you really want done about it.
     
  6. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    I agree that it depends on the situation and the school. If you go to the meeting and it gets nasty, then don't get emotional, say as little as possible and don't go to any more without the union. Hopefully your head just wants to sort things out, although they should actually tell you what it is about.
     
  7. The issues between me and the other member of staff is ongoinging and i have been to her directly many times. The responses are alwasy patronising and belittle my concerns as being oversensitive, exaggerating etc. admittedly we all have days where we take things to much to heart, but the issue has been persistent over a significant time. All i want out of it is to know that i am being taken seriously and that my views are respected.
     
  8. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    Whatever you do then don't cry or say too much in response, as that will make it look like you are being over sensitive even if your concerns are genuine.
    You should write down the incidents and then talk about them with someone outside of work or teacher support line to see what an outsider thinks.
     
  9. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Then you need to go to the meeting. Not turning up or refusing to go will not give the impression you want.

    To sort this sort of thing out, the pair of you need to talk and find out what the other person really intends. This is usually impossible to do without a third person there as things get out of hand. Go along, but be prepared to accept some of the responsibility for the things that have gone wrong.

    I hope you go and that things turn out well for you.
     
  10. thanks for the advice. i'm worried though, how do i state my case without appearing over sensitive or defensive?
     
  11. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    If it was me, I'd stop worrying and just go along. The head will lead the meeting and you just have to chat away as and when it is your turn.

    Think through what are the main things that really upset you. Remember you have to work with people of all personalities, so criticising the way someone is will get you nowhere. Think about the events that have stuck in your mind for a while and plan in your mind what you want to say. (Some people would write it down and there is no reason not to take a note with you, but you might look a bit OTT.)

    Try to phrase things as 'I felt upset when ..... happened' rather than 'you made me feel upset when you said/did....'.
     
  12. thankyou so much for you help :O)
     

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