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Planning a baby

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by mrsT1990, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. mrsT1990

    mrsT1990 New commenter

    Hi everyone,

    Me and my husband have been married 2 and a half years. We are 26 and 25, The plan always was to get married and start a family (this was the plan before we got married) My husband really wants us to start trying for a baby, and in my heart i do BUT ..........

    I'm in my first full year of teaching (finished my NQT year in July) If we were to conceive a baby in the near future then I would have completed 2 full years of teaching. (primary)

    My issue is that my commitment to my job is putting me off, I love my job and I like the extra responsibility I have been given this year. I am panicked at the idea of telling my HT that I would need to go on maternity leave. Partly because I feel like they would look down their noses at me due to my age.

    It's driving my husband mad as he thinks that I shouldn't let my job determine my choice but i'm sure other teachers can relate at how much of ourselves we give to the job.

    I suppose why I'm writing this is just to see if there's anyone else who has been in this situation before and can share their thoughts/experiences.

    Many Thanks :)
  2. kcrobson

    kcrobson New commenter

    HTs have dealt with it before and they will deal with it again. Otherwise, no one be able to employ any woman of childbearing age! Pure sexism... And your age? You mean that you are of childbearing age? I would suggest that it is better trying at your age than leaving it later and later. As ladies on these threads would attest, it doesn't always come easily in the most straight-forward of cases. Fertility declines from your early thirties...

    These days, teaching is just a job. Martyrs get no favours and you would be soon forgotten if you moved on... Many schools are just machines these days!

    If the time is right for you, crack on! This is your life, not theirs....
  3. DaisysLot

    DaisysLot Senior commenter

    I think what your husband might not be fully appreciating is that, quite honestly, your career will never be the same after parenthood commences. I know many folk juggle it successfully and commendably, but everything changes in terms of how you work and focus on your work…. and it's not for a 'few years' while they are small… it's for always.

    Having said that… any reason relating to being afraid of informing head teachers and the like about pregnancy is best got over quickly. They are people you work with…. and part of their job is indeed to manage such situations… not manage and determine your life choices. :)
  4. Mazod

    Mazod Occasional commenter

    I'm a couple of years older than you but a similar stage in my career and currently 9 weeks pregnant. I know that I won't be able to make my career the priority it is now once I have a baby but I know I can manage my time well, be organised and still strive to be a great teacher. We also have a lot of support from my parents which I think is a factor too.

    I think you need to try for a baby at a time which feels right for you as a person, not a teacher. My mum retired as a very successful depute head at the summer but didn't get promoted to HOD till she was 40 as she took time off to have me and my sister plus worked part time when we were little. Promotion will still be there to work for later if it's for you
  5. anon9092

    anon9092 New commenter

    How does maternity pay work? I am quite curious.How can women afford to go on maternity if their pay is cut?
  6. dt201

    dt201 Occasional commenter

    MrsT, it's normal to feel guilty but if you want a baby soon then just do it. You might get pregnant straight away or it might not be straightforward.

    LCRose, you save up before hand, take a mortgage holiday if you can/want, don't take the full year entitlement off if you can't afford to etc. Childcare is really expensive too.
  7. mrs-badger

    mrs-badger Occasional commenter

    Usually it is 2 weeks full pay, 4 weeks 90% pay, 12 weeks 50% pay and then SMP for the remainder.

    Your second question depends hugely on individual circumstances which is why some women go back after six weeks and others take twelve months off.
  8. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    "How does maternity pay work? I am quite curious.How can women afford to go on maternity if their pay is cut?"

    Remember that you need to think about finances beyond the maternity leave, too. Your salary might be restored when you go back to work, but you will have substantial childcare costs.

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