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Pick me up.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tolkien28, Dec 19, 2019.

  1. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    I tended to get more from bottom sets, or from very deprived students (especially the ones who started off hating me because I actually wanted them to work to change their lives!)
    Maybe you think this is sad, but reading the cards when I was having bad days actually helped me. I didn't particularly want expensive presents, but I've known friends to stay in teaching/nursing because cards tell them that the people they're in the job to help do need them, no matter what Ofsted/hospital managers tell them.
    As for the cuppa, health/social workers told me they liked to accept this because it made the patient/client feel she was bonding/more equal, and she (it was young women they were working with) would tend to relax over a brew, and become more likely to accept their support and work with them. Yet last time a doctor came to my house, he told me he wasn't allowed to accept a coffee (as you say)-seems mad to me, the guy said he'd have loved one as he was tired and thirsty!
    I see GDW's point about 'showing off' and getting rubbish-one place I worked had a 'maximum' you could accept, and this was made clear to all, but wouldn't have stopped the poor doctor getting his brew!

    I've been supply, OP, and I did get relatively few cards/presents, but you've just got to remember that many teachers get them 'just because' they're the class teacher, not necessarily that the kids like them/think they're better than you. There are pros/cons with supply, but as schools get a higher and higer turnover, perhaps the days of gifts for any teacher are numbered?
  2. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    The only present I wanted was a mug saying "World's Worst Teacher Ever" but sadly it didn't happen. Maybe I should find a way of marketing them? I don't recall getting much else in the twenty or so years I spent in the one high school, and it never bothered me.

    As for the supply years, even long term - just forget it.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  3. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    "Have a good Christmas, Miss!"

    Spontaneously. From the heart. Genuine. Authentic.

    That means more to me than a bottle of plonk or a bath bomb!
  4. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Is this the time to remind everyone about when my photo appeared on the front page of TES togther with the collection of ties bought for me by pupils?:D:rolleyes:
    frangipani123 and grumpydogwoman like this.
  5. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    All this smarming at Christmas is false. Almost any colleague will stab you in the back at the drop of a hat. "Colleagues" (except in very rare cases) are not your friends.
    grumpydogwoman and sodalime like this.
  6. sodalime

    sodalime Star commenter

    cissy3 likes this.
  7. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    One lad told me he would never forget me (in a good way). That has stayed with me far longer than a mug or a bar of chocolate.

    A card, or a thank you are much better than stuff.
  8. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    When they just give you a random hug.

    But you can't expect it on supply.

    It should be freely given. I don't want something the parent just grabbed off the checkout at Asda!
  9. Jolly_Roger15

    Jolly_Roger15 Star commenter

    I have not worked in a school that had a tradition of students giving their teachers Xmas cards, or small gifts. Years ago, my Upper Sixth gave me a tie with the Periodic Table on it: that is all I can remember.
  10. BertieBassett2

    BertieBassett2 Star commenter

    I'm also a Supply teacher and I worked at my favourite school on Monday in a Year 1 class. At some point, Christmas cards were being given out and one little girl said to me 'You haven't got any cards.' I reassured her that it wasn't a problem and then she gave me a consolatory hug!
  11. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Maybe what OP is feeling is a real thing that does sometimes manifest itself, and that is the lack of relationship building that happens in a supply role.
    If you are in at a fixed time and leave at a fixed time,and have no input into scheme of work and less scrutiny than others, it does mean you inhabit a slightly different realm from your colleagues, and it also means you forge a slightly different perception from the children.
    The job itself is far freer in terms of commitment and stress, but it also lacks the joy of convening with colleagues,
    It also limits the license you have to express yourself as a person.
    I remember years ago we were buying a house, and as a permanent employer I had a small melt down one day in the faculty room due to some paperwork stalling at the last moment. A colleague taught my next class for me in friendship and sympathy
    As a supply teacher, you simply would not be allowed such a meltdown-relationships don't build enough for you to let the real you in. If you vented, they'd get somebody else in. You have to sit on your feelings, connect less. You wont be swapping phone numbers in your faculty, or going to weddings, or sticking up pictures of your kids in your work space. Or getting Christmas cards.
    It's a real thing and has poignancy from time to time. Maybe more so at end of term.

    But hey-nur nur n' nur nurrrh-out the door latest at 4.00 every time. That's a hands down win
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2019
  12. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    It used to annoy and puzzle my hisband that paid teachers were showered with gifts biyt I, working as a volunteer running the beavers and a children's choir, rarely received anything.
  13. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    That's what kept me on supply in the roughest school in Leeds for seven years!
    Edit: that was in reply to skrobson's last sentence!
  14. TheOracleAtDelphi

    TheOracleAtDelphi Established commenter

    Completely off topic but I am always deeply envious of the supply teachers who manage this - you must be the speediest markers in the history of forever!
  15. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Yeah, but who is going to upbraid you for the quality of your marking? They'd have to catch up with you. And they truly don't care because who really gives a hoot about deep marking? It's all just for show.
  16. stanley4shoes

    stanley4shoes Occasional commenter

    sharing a packet of chewits whilst playing Jenga with a lad who'd barely had a conversation with me all term beyond good morning etc (me trainee in his form in addition to form teacher who he'd also not said a deal to), turned out he's a real strategist and he thrashed me, twice. 'thanks miss, could we keep it in Sir's cupboard for next time that we have time to play? please'
    freckle06 likes this.
  17. stanley4shoes

    stanley4shoes Occasional commenter

    And the spontaneous hug from a girl who I've needed to be very firm with many times in lessons, but always fair and kind regardless of what she says to me. That meant a lot.
  18. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    We had another thread not long ago also mentioning being upset by not getting Christmas cards at work.
    Blimey. It's not as if they ought to be quantified into a badge of popularity or anything.
    If I knew the both of you personally, I'd send you a couple from the three hundred and twenty six I'd already received by the beginning of the first week in December.

    Edit-just checked, and apologies, actually it's three hundred and twenty seven.
  19. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    I bumped into a former pupil who was in my form in 1995. She waited until I was back in the classroom and came in to tell me that when she was in yr 8 and going through a tough time at home I was the person who gave her the support she needed. Made me well up. Then she also said I was better looking when I had my p0rn star moustache!:eek::D

    Also, when decluttering recently I came across the small stach of letters and cards I had receieved from pupils over the years. I read them again and decided to keep them.
    freckle06 likes this.
  20. freckle06

    freckle06 Lead commenter

    I have an envelope where I keep the little notes. It’s the handwritten post it that means more than what it was stick to; that takes time and effort. I only had a small number of cards this year (that’s secondary did you!) but the ones with notes inside them ... :):):)

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