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Phrases that should be allowed in the classroom...

Discussion in 'Primary' started by mprimaryz, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. "If I blew in your ear could I feel the draft come out the other side?
  2. Magic_faraway_tree

    Magic_faraway_tree New commenter

    There's a very disruptive ASD boy in one of my classes who routinely tells his peers they are 'going to hell'. Sometimes I want to turn round and scream the same thing to him! (and i'll send him there!!)
  3. This is the best thing I've read for ages. Still wiping the tears from my eyes. This whole thread is much more stress busting than the po-faced contributions on over stressed teachers, which had me wanting to strangle every teacher still breathing. I think I might actually like some of you lot!!! Yay!
  4. Oh dear - I'm going to 'fess up.

    "That brain cell in there must be very lonely.." used one or twice when gently admonishing a pupil for not paying attention. Raises a laugh, then they perk up and start listening.

    "Once you've completed a three year degree and a post-graduate course in your specialist subject, then you might be able to comment on whether Shakespeare is rubbish or not..." really. really want to use this one.....

    "It must be lovely to always be right at your age" - used with my own son - ouch - bad mother...

    "Stop being a big wet nelly!" (used with a disruptive member of a Y11 English group to great hilarity and an immediate cessation of bad behaviour)

    "We are being a belligerent little madam today ..." used with a mardy Y11 girl who laughed, explained the reason for the moodiness and got on with the task.

    Hmm, hope I'm not too arsy with them.

    Used this one yesterday with a surly Y7 boy.

    "I don't expect to be spoken to in that manner. I was an Officer in the British Army - how dare you be so rude. I wouldn't speak to the Regimental goat in that manner!"

    Worked a treat - big apology!
  5. mprimaryz

    mprimaryz New commenter

    I love that this thread is still going strong! I even like that it is rubbing some of you guys up the wrong way. When I talk about teaching to people I say that there are a lot of *** in the profession. I do believe these *** have found their way into here! Depression, prayer, vulgarity... Blah blah blah. Nice one to everyone else with a sense of humuor!
  6. Look at 274.
  7. Probably as many as can't use punctuation.
  8. Irish teacher here, did my training in the UK. That is exactly what Mr. Ofsted needs to here. English students are great and kids will be kids no matter where you are but the huge difference I've found is that English students just don't have a hard work ethic. There is nothing wrong with good old fashioned learning of information and regurgitating it. Not all the time of course but you can't be expected to entertain them all the time. Then there is all that horrible paperwork you have over there. Most of it ********. Don't get me wrong you have a good education system and offer a wide range of subjects superior to here but teachers need to be able to just get students learning information. Like on a Monday. Who the *** wants interaction on a Monday morning or last class on a Friday. :) Rote learning did none of us any harm.
  9. I don't hate children and I would say the majority of teachers don't. However when you explain something to a person 5 times and it doesn't sink in or they don't listen or they pester other students and cause a multitude of problems then I think I am right in saying that sometimes you need to vent. I think that is what is happening here. Teachers will do their upmost for students, in my experience, and will give up there time freely. Whether it's training teams or just listening to a student vent about their problems, teachers are always there. In fact, in some schools, teaching is very low on the list of things you do with the amount of problems facing students. And parents expect you to wave a magic wand to solve all of this without input. Teachers can only build on the foundations of home life. I'm sorry those two teachers bullied your child, the should be shot for that. It's disgusting. But teachers deal with a lot of **** before they even get around to teaching, so allow them the chance to vent on a website rather than taking it into the classroom.
  10. 'What are those sirens I hear? It must be the State the Obvious police coming to arrest you!'
  11. I'm sure if you go on Mumsnet, you will find a thread about "What I really want to say to my child". That would be interesting.
    I absolutely love teaching. I had a great day today and some great lessons with children who were all actively engaged in learning. I tutored an EAL Romany girl and that was lovely.
    Yet sometimes it's so frustrating and you can't tell them what you are really thinking. I had a really annoying bunch of 7 year old boys who would not sit still, stop talking or focus when we were on the carpet despite constant behaviour management, warnings etc. That can really drive you mad. I actually called them "spoilt brats" and got into trouble for that. Yet one of the parents of one of them fully supported me and told me that her son (and the others) were spoilt and did not know how to listen and she knew that. She also apologised for her son's behaviour.
  12. Been chuckling at all these. But I REALLY like this one! Will be borrowing it I think. ;)
  13. When calling the register:
    'Oh thank God XXXX isn't here today...'
  14. I've actually used this. Does it make me a bad person?
  15. "When God was handing out brains you thought he said 'trains' and asked for a slow one!"
  16. Hmmm. Incorrect use of commas, lower-case i instead of I when referring to yourself, lower-case letter at the start of a sentence (three times ... out of four sentences), and possibly the worst sin of all - excessive exclamation marks!

    Well, yes, actually. All of these I've been able to do (correctly) since primary school.

    'School' is a place you go to, 'education' is what happens to you whilst you're there, so yes it should be 'home education'. Unfortunately it appears to be 'ome edjerkayshun.
    ElizaMorrell likes this.
  17. Oh, and I missed the two 'its' that should have been 'it's'...
  18. [​IMG]
  19. ROFL!!!!!
  20. Once I'd googled the phrase - I laughed literally out loud (in a cover lesson I might add...) [​IMG]

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