PGCE experience sadly not what I hoped for...uni side of things in no way helped me prep for being in a class (went over subject knowledge that really could have been set as reading). Failed first placement towards the end (after being cause for concern but I was improving). To try to encapsulate - I am aware I was making blunders, through lack of class experience, lack of uni providing any guidance as to support expectations, and naive expectations that my mentor would fill me in when needed (basically never happened until lessons were failing). I was meant to have worked out the system from floating support and being responsible for pritt sticking worksheets in. I don't feel I ever fitted in, and never felt mentor was anything more than lip service friendly when needed. First week asking for help with a lesson idea: "I'll have to put you down as struggling". So zipped up until I had to miss an essay deadline...HT became aware, mentor became aware (realised I had not been given many of the materials, HT said she was aware of how mentor could "appear"). It just went downhill, I could barely keep head above water (up at 6, working til 1). Conflicting support "you should ask" "you need to work this out yourself". Teaching I witnessed was not modelled as to how I should do it. Advice and feedback became so contradictory I had to keep notes to prove I wasn't going mad. And it blew up at the end, I mean ridiculously so. Again aware of my struggles as a student but also aware I have drawn the short straw (compared with peers' experiences). I am scarred by it - I had a dream again about the HT kicking off. A woman on TV looked like my mentor and I started tearing up. It's just in my head all. the. time. And it's months ago. I'm getting older, would be looking to start a career from scratch having worked in a finance customer service role and trainer for most of the time (travelled and trained as a therapist initially). I cannot decide whether to keep going. I met the new class/ teacher who are both lovely, but likely to change due to covid now. I have to move 2 hours away for it come September to finish. All the advice on the internet - don't/ go with your gut; It does/n't get better; teaching is/n't worth it. Launch myself into the abyss of not knowing my next feasible career move or move towns and hope I can improve with more awareness of the expectations and hopefully a kinder, more reasonable mentor? Anyone who can clarify the right move I'll have to buy you something!