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Partner Worries

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Antonio30, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Antonio30

    Antonio30 New commenter

    First and Foremost, many apologies if I'm not meant to be positing on here. My partner is a Primary School Teacher and it is her I'm on here in regards to.

    Secondly I apologise if I've got the incorrect sub-forum, just looking for some general help.

    Basically, she's in her second year of teaching. Last year she tought reception which she enjoyed, this year Primary which unfortunately hasn't gone as well.

    Whilst she has a connection with the children (seems to have a genuine affection towards them), the school itself is causing her problems.

    She moved to this school this year to take the Primary 1 position, however is upset and stressed on a consistent basis. It's caused her an outbreak of a bad skin condition that she then worried about.

    There seems to be no team work at her school, it's even little things such as when she prints out paperwork, to a communal printer no one picks it up, whereas she would and in her previous school they most certainly would.

    There was a meeting last week about implementing a new lesson plan which my partner had to leave early due to a doctor appointment. Before she left, there was nothing put in place and it was agreed to leave it how it was. She was informed last night on a group chat that the lesson had indeed been changed, but she had no idea of this which again caused great upset.

    Her head and deputy have a real lack of communication towards her, and other teachers by all accounts. No real support from either. I don't know what the term/practice is known as, but they visited another school who achieved a positive Ofsted report, I think to show the teachers a new style of teaching, well I assume that's the point. They themselves had a good report though, however the head now seems so focused on matching this other schools achievements, he's forgotten about everything else.

    I find it extremely hard at times watching her cry and get so stressed about her position, but I just don't know what to suggest. I hate when she says "I don't want to teach anymore" because I know she does, when she has a good day it's brilliant because you see the reward she gets from it.

    Anyway, again I'm very sorry if I shouldn't be using this forum, just a bit stuck where to turn for advice.

    Many thanks,
  2. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    No need to apologise for being concerned and seeking help - sadly, much of what you say sounds only too familiar, and these issues get discussed repeatedly on here, but in a different sub-forum.

    Take a look at


    and consider re-posting your request there. It will probably scroll off this Personal thread list pretty quickly, which would be a shame. It will hopefully get more attention in the above section.

    Good luck anyway.
  3. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I think she should be the one to get herself on here. She needs to acknowledge she has a problem. Poor young woman. I do feel for her. It sounds all too horribly familiar.

    And @magic surf bus is right in pointing you to Dilemmas.

    But suggest to her that SHE uses the forum as a sounding-board. It'll make more sense to her.
    Lara mfl 05 and Dragonlady30 like this.
  4. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Schools are all different and it can be hard moving. Teachers are their worst enemies as the job engages them so completely that emotional responses to what goes on are hard to avoid and deal with. You can encourage her to distance herself a little bit and recognise that this is her job and that the culture of this work place is different from the last. The problems you describe do not add up to anything terrible, just not good or thoughtful management. She needs to accept the new regime and learn to work with it.
    May I add, i would probably have felt just like her and overreacted just like her at one stage of my career. It's hard to grow a thick skin. It's her work in the classroom that counts and her energy needs to go into that if at all possible, not into worries about poor management. I do understand how the two things are hard to separate.
    Help her switch off. We made Friday night off sacrosanct and went to the pub and kept Saturday work free too if possible and did simple nice things, walks, shopping together, go to a film, doing the housework together. My husband was supportive and listened to me but sometimes the talking needs to stop and you both need to think about something else.
    All the best.

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