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Parents evening

Discussion in 'NQTs and new teachers' started by devilsangel100, Mar 16, 2011.

  1. Just finished my second parents evening, and have come home crying :(
    Why is it that you can have 24 parents tell you how much their children love school and are making so much progress and love having you as their teacher, but then have a negative parent that completely get you down?
    Tonight I had the pleasure(!) of meeting with the parents of a child who finds it hard to listen and is rather silly. They know he is like this as I have spoken to them about it before. I explained in more detail tonight, and the mother starts to shout at me and says that my teaching must be bad, and that she's been a teacher for 20 years and I must be doing things wrong if his behaviour is still poor. Funny how all of the other children seem to be engaged when i'm teaching, whereas he's more concerned about playing with the velcro on his shoes, or destroying school rubbers/pens. (I think bing a young teacher didnt help me here).
    I know people may say that I shouldn't take it to heart, but I work so hard every day that it gets me down if I'm shouted at like that.
    Anyone else have a bad parents evening experience?
  2. I have had horrendous parents evenings including being spat at, nearly hit and suffering barrages of verbal abuse and expletives. I know you don't want to hear it....but you do have to try not to let it get to you! Remember, it is her problem that she has reacted in this way and not yours.
    Make sure you get lots of rest this evening and have a glass of wine if you have any [​IMG]
  3. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    I had some similar parents last year, in fact I spent a lot of the year crying because of the children, the parents and my own low self esteem. It was a pretty awful NQT year, to be honest.
    Yes, the comments do hurt, I always do myself a disfavour by brooding about them for ages afterwards, work myself into a bad mood etc. However, I've found it useful to give myself 10 minutes where I will let myself wallow in self-pity. Then I put on a favourite film, have wine or chocolate and cheer myself up.
    PFF is right, it's their problem, not yours. Probably their child is the way they are because the parents can't see what their behaviour is like and do little to discipline their child. Feel cheered that the long part of the year is over and the next few months will fly by!
  4. oldsizenines

    oldsizenines New commenter

    The parent is a teacher? Seems to me that they know exactly what their child is like, and are embarassed/guilt ridden about it. The fact that all the other children can listen/behave is a testament to what a good teacher you are.
  5. oldsizenines

    oldsizenines New commenter

    And it has nothing to do with being a young teacher - I felt like that about myself for weeks. A parent at parents' evening asked me: "Where's Mum and Dad?" I grasped onto the fragment of professionalism left in myself by that point and replied: "If you're wondering where I'm from, it's Wiltshire. Must be the accent you're picking up on their Sir, rather than my age."
  6. oldsizenines

    oldsizenines New commenter

  7. Normal workplaces have signs up that state something like, "Our staff members deserve to work in a safe workplace. If you are verbally or physically abusive towards our members of staff, you will be asked to leave."

    I get how teachers have to be able to deal with abuse from students, and that they can't exactly ask them to leave, but this could very easily be put into place for parent's evenings, and other meetings. As usual teachers are just left to fend for themselves instead of being protected and supported.

  8. theNavigator

    theNavigator New commenter

    One of my favourites was when a parent demanded that I give their 'exceptional' child more challenging homework. My response was, "when your child actually hands in the homework I currently set, then I'll think about it."

    I don't have many unpleasant parental experiences, but if I do, they're always from the deluded ones. "My son has already written a novel. You are letting him down when you give him such low grades." Really? Have you read it? He can't even punctuate.

    Or the ones who can't be bothered making sure that their little darling turns up to school, then accuses me of not giving the little eejit enough help.

    Lots of snarling after the evening is over, but remembering all the lovely things the other parents have said helps.

    Remember - some people should not be allowed to BREED.
  9. I had a pretty good parents evening at my current school but had a couple of difficult ones at my last school. I have found the issue to be less parents' evenings, but the parents who insist on speaking to you every time you are on the play ground about something or the ones who write snotty notes in planners that just come across very badly. I have a parent at the moment who complains that her son does not like whoever he is sitting next to...
    What made me feel very unconfortable at my current school was several of the parents expressing dispeasure at certain aspects of school management that were beyind my control - all I could was refer them to the head. I also had two parents who were horrible about the previous teacher, not something I am confortable with. At my last school several of the parents complained about the teacher who did my PPA cover, and again I could only refer them to the head if they felt it really was an issue. The person who did my PPA was lovely but several of the children said they felt 'picked on' - some parents just will not accept that their children are not little angels all of the time!
  10. on my first one i kept on thinking it was going to be bad but it turned out to be nice with the exception of one parent when i told her that her son had a very low assasment grade in my history class and she siad that she was going to complian againts me but she never i was so worried that i was going to quit my job
    PS: that was when i was a NQT

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