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Parents complaining about behaviour

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by steerjr01, Nov 26, 2019.

  1. JRS_2508

    JRS_2508 New commenter

    Hi all

    I currently teach reception and have got a pretty challenging class - lots of behaviour issues and high level of need.

    One parent has started complaining that their child is getting hurt and nothing is being done. Their child is constantly reporting incidents to staff - 10 this afternoon - and they are always minor issues.

    We use restorative practise to promote discussion about children’s behaviour and when necessary children may have thinking time and will apologise but the child is not telling their parent this is happening!

    Any one got any advice to appease a parent like this? We are following the behaviour policy and there have been no serious incidents just lots of little things.

    Thank you
  2. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    To be fair...10 small incidents in one afternoon is a lot.
    You need to involve senior staff in speaking to the parents.

    If I was a parent and my child reported 10 incidents to me from a day, let alone an afternoon, I'd be concerned. However minor, 10 issues of them being hurt would worry me. The fact the children concerned had apologised wouldn't necessarily appease me.

    You need to involve senior staff in reducing the incidents and in managing parents.
    Kartoshka likes this.
  3. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    It clearly isn't a minor issue to the child.

    What you're writing is a little concerning - a child being pinched or having her hair tugged is minor, but if they were shoved it would be?

    Its possible the child is a fantasist and attention seeking. Its equally possible that the children perpetuating this are not being dealt with severely enough. You seem rather aggrieved that the child isn't telling her parents that the other children have apologised. To be blunt, I doubt they care. What they care about is that their child is being hurt. As @caterpillartobutterfly says, get senior staff involved.
  4. JRS_2508

    JRS_2508 New commenter

    Sorry I don’t think I was clear. I mean issues like someone’s not sharing, saying they’re not best friends etc. The child was not hurt that many times!

    When I say hurt I don’t mean maliciously. One example was when another child was rushing to the toilet and they accidentally bumped into them. So we had a chat about moving carefully around the classroom.

    Another is when another child went to sit down on the carpet behind them and accidentally caught them with their foot.

    The parent basically said she doesn’t think we are doing anything as her child isn’t reporting our actions back to her. We deal with every incident accordingly
  5. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    Then you need to call the parent.
    TeacherMan19 likes this.
  6. RGURN3Y1

    RGURN3Y1 New commenter

    I also think you need to call the parent or invite the parent into a meeting. If the child feels they need to report every incident within the classroom to their parents there could be an element of that child feeling unsafe or a deeper meaning (it may not be this at all) but if you have a chat about how the child is feeling when they are discussing these issue it could give you an insight on how they are truly feeling. If the child is feeling unsettled or unsafe and using these minor incidents to express this you can think of strategies to ensure this child is comfortable in their learning environment. The parent is the aware of what you are doing you can chat about what you are already doing.

    You mentioned there is alot of challenging behaviour within your classroom that is why i came to this conclusion as to why this child is reporting everything back, an unsettled environment that is needing support will really impact on all the children. Also parents need to be rest assured you are involving them in all their child's education journey a positive and active home school relationship can also improve behaviour within your classroom.
  7. Kartoshka

    Kartoshka Established commenter

    So what is happening is that the child is going home and saying, "Alfie pushed me today and Ella kicked me when we were on the carpet." The parent is hearing that their child was hurt deliberately on two occasions and is worrying about what is being done to stop their child getting hurt again.

    It might be helpful to explain to the parent that the incidents their child is describing are happening, but that an adult's understanding of the words is often different to the way the child is using them in her description. Yes, Alfie "pushed" your daughter because his body bumped into hers as he rushed past, but he didn't do it on purpose. Yes, Ella "kicked" her because her foot touched her as she sat down on the carpet, but it didn't happen deliberately or maliciously. Most parents will believe their child automatically and not everyone will stop to consider that what their child is saying and what the parent is hearing might not be the same thing. These are explanations that make sense to an adult, and could be reassuring to the parent that, although their child's tales are true, there is nothing to worry about.

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