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Parents/adults children relationships

Discussion in 'Personal' started by catmother, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I'm forever puzzled by the level of involvement my colleagues seem to have in the lives of their away from home,grown up children (most of them in very good/responsible jobs). A lot of them seem to have extremely close relationships and the parents seem to be kept up to date/involved in all aspects of said lives. At first,such a relationship does sound lovely but I'm just puzzled that children seem to give so much info to their parents.
    I would have cringed at the thought of my parents knowing so much and I've spend most of my adult life of telling them things on a need to know basis (and they did not need to know much).
    Is it just me or is it a generation thing?
     
  2. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I'm forever puzzled by the level of involvement my colleagues seem to have in the lives of their away from home,grown up children (most of them in very good/responsible jobs). A lot of them seem to have extremely close relationships and the parents seem to be kept up to date/involved in all aspects of said lives. At first,such a relationship does sound lovely but I'm just puzzled that children seem to give so much info to their parents.
    I would have cringed at the thought of my parents knowing so much and I've spend most of my adult life of telling them things on a need to know basis (and they did not need to know much).
    Is it just me or is it a generation thing?
     
  3. ooh - who would i have a good moan to if it wasn't my mum?
     
  4. My parents are more like my best friends. They know pretty much everything!
    We go out for meals a lot or I go round there/they come here and we have chats over cups of tea.
    It was the same when I was a teenager as well, I always had an honest and open relationship with them.
     
  5. I was very close to my Mum - she knew (almost) everything.
    We would natter on the phone goodness knows how many times a week!

     
  6. RJR_38

    RJR_38 New commenter

    Nope - my parents are on a 'need to know' basis - though it would be nice if they phoned me occasionally or showed some interest in my life to be fair. It always seems to be me making the contact and effort *sigh*. Maybe then I would be inclined to tell them more?
     
  7. That is a shame [​IMG]
    I am about to ring my step-dad for a natter!
     
  8. i'm not so close to my dad as i am to my mum (they're divorced) but again, i ring him regularly because - well, he's often just the person i want to chat to about something
     
  9. Me and my mum are extremely close. She knows pretty much everything (although she thinks she does know everything). There are a few things she just doesn't need to know about though lol.
     
  10. RJR_38

    RJR_38 New commenter

    I know :( I'm usually the one who rings mum and we do natter for a good hour or so when I ring. but I was ill 2 weeks ago and just completely forgot to ring mum for firsth alf of week just gone not heard a thing... when I realised I wondered why she hadn't rung me (my sis is always moaning about the same thing with mum) so I thought I would leave it this time and see how long it took... 2 1/2 weeks so far... sort of wish I hadn't started the experiment now as its made me realise how right my sister is.
     
  11. My dad died when I was nineteen, and I'm not particularly close to my mother. Since the baby was born, I see her weekly, but I don't divulge a lot of stuff to her because I know she just wouldn't 'get it' or really care/listen.

    I'm glad she's building a relationship with my child though.
     
  12. bnm

    bnm

    I natter to my sisters on the phone a lot, dad died some years ago and I don't have a close relationship with my mum. She knows very little about my life. I love her, but find it difficult to be in her company for long and am pretty sure she feels the same about me.
    There is quite a generational gap between us that maybe accounts for some of this...she is over 40 years older than I am and has been "old for her years" since I was a teenager.
     
  13. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I remain very close to my Mum, who is 80 this year, and I adore my two (19 and 21).
    My own offspring are in constant contact with me (both away at uni) and still ask for help and advice (on anything!). I'd hate it any other way.
     
  14. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    My amazing mum is my closest friend. We speak on a daily basis (she is also my unofficial carer) - my other siblings talk to her at least once a week.
    It's different with my birthdad. After my parent's divorce I tried to keep in contact. It was his choice to break off contact. I made three attempts to keep in touch - he always accepts and then stops contact after a few weeks/months. ...he is still in contact with my sisters and I get regular updates from them.
     
  15. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Just me then! Coming over here was the great escape.
     
  16. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    no
     
  17. Non aussi!
     
  18. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    Used to be very, very close to my Mum (as an only child) but we've drifted apart a bit in recent years. We seem to be getting on quite well of late and we've spoken on the phone 3 times this week which is practically unheard of for us!
    My Dad died when I was a child - I was a typical Daddy's girl, though.
     
  19. i always thought my mum and I had a very close relationship but when my hubby had an affair she refused to believe me and backed him up 100%. Thanks mum.
    Since then my dad and I have been incredibly close.
     
  20. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I'm very close to my parents (i'm 33) and I speak to my mum on the phone most evenings. They live nearly 300 miles away, so I don't get to see them that often, but often go and stay with them in half terms.
    When I was younger obviously there were things I left out that I felt they didn't need to know, but now I have a child I'm very grateful to have my mum to speak to about lots of things.
    My mum was very close to her mum, and used to speak to her all the time, but sadly she died last June.
     

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