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Overheard neighbours cruel threats to child

Discussion in 'Personal' started by emylou, May 1, 2012.

  1. emylou

    emylou New commenter

    We have new neighbours & for the past few days we've heard lots of shouting & crying coming from their home.
    On Saturday morning the eldest girl (7-9 yrs old) was stood in the rain without a coat & the Mum screamed at her from inside something like "go to the police station then!" The girl just stood there, after about a minute she walked back towards the house & said "I don't know what to say/where it is" & she went inside. A minute later the girl was back outside with a coat on & she walked away from the house again. The Mum was stood at the door watching & then she shouted "I'll call them you *****!"
    This morning I have just witnessed the Mum shout at the eldest girl "I hate you!" & then hit her. Then a minute later "I hope you get knocked down by a bus today" and then when her daughter said anything to her later Mum replied "Do I want anything to do with you? Exactly."
    The Mum always appears to talk like this in front of all 3 children (the youngest are prob 3 & 2 ish) but certain taunts are aimed at the eldest girl.
    Obviously I know I could stay out of this but I am upset by what the children are hearing primarily. It's hard to ignore because I feel for them but as it's right on my doorstep it's hard not to hear & feel upset & worried for them.
    Would you contact anyone? Social services? The police?
    Should I call Social Services- would they check the children are ok? Maybe the Mum is under stress & needs help? Or should I not get involved?
     
  2. emylou

    emylou New commenter

    We have new neighbours & for the past few days we've heard lots of shouting & crying coming from their home.
    On Saturday morning the eldest girl (7-9 yrs old) was stood in the rain without a coat & the Mum screamed at her from inside something like "go to the police station then!" The girl just stood there, after about a minute she walked back towards the house & said "I don't know what to say/where it is" & she went inside. A minute later the girl was back outside with a coat on & she walked away from the house again. The Mum was stood at the door watching & then she shouted "I'll call them you *****!"
    This morning I have just witnessed the Mum shout at the eldest girl "I hate you!" & then hit her. Then a minute later "I hope you get knocked down by a bus today" and then when her daughter said anything to her later Mum replied "Do I want anything to do with you? Exactly."
    The Mum always appears to talk like this in front of all 3 children (the youngest are prob 3 & 2 ish) but certain taunts are aimed at the eldest girl.
    Obviously I know I could stay out of this but I am upset by what the children are hearing primarily. It's hard to ignore because I feel for them but as it's right on my doorstep it's hard not to hear & feel upset & worried for them.
    Would you contact anyone? Social services? The police?
    Should I call Social Services- would they check the children are ok? Maybe the Mum is under stress & needs help? Or should I not get involved?
     
  3. You can refer via NSPCC, or by calling your local children's duty team. Please don't do nothing.
     
  4. Call Social Services straight away.
     
  5. Please call now.
     
  6. Mrs_Frog

    Mrs_Frog New commenter

    Call Social Services straight away.
    The question I had to ask myself when I did it, was if something happened to the child/ren and I knew about it, and was able to inform someone and I didn't, how would I feel?
    You will not have to give your name, you should just be able to say that you are a neighbour or that you are aware of the family. As far as I am aware, how Social Services find out is not ever disclosed to the people concerned, or certainly shouldn't be.
    B x
     
  7. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Since there are under fives in the house you can talk to your nearest Children's Centre and they will do a house visit on their Outreach walk. If you like, you can talk to the local Health Visiting team because the family are new to the area and have young children.
    There have been no physical threats or incidents to it is hard for Social Services to do much. The police might be a better bet because this is Domestic Violence and there is a system for monitoring and helping the children who live with DV which is centralised and the police are very much a part of it and can link up schools etc etc . You do not need to say who has been threatened just that you think there is DV next door and that you yourself feel quite scared and threatened.
    Mum is very much in need of help.
    I would spend some time calling just about everyone because this would help me feel that I had intervened as much as I can, also, I would be kind and friendly and neutral to the family because this will decrease social isolation which is a big factor in such situations occuring.
     
  8. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Please phone Social Services. Now,

    Mum needs help - and the children too.
     
  9. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    I don't know why, but I have such a sense of deja vu reading this thread.
    I'm sure I remember a thread about a young girl being stood outside in the rain while mum shouted at her.
    Sorry Emylou, I must be imagining things!
    I agree with the others in that you ought to do something. Even taking a high stress situation like moving house into account, this is no way for a mum to act with her kids.
    They as a family need help.
    Good luck and let us know what happens.
     
  10. God, I felt sick reading the OP. As someone who was brought up by a very volatile mother (big sister got the brunt of it) I wish someone had 'interfered' on our behalf, even though we came through it and are fully-functioning and well-balanced adults now.
    I'm veering towards the 'call social services' brigade. Now I'm a mum, I find it even harder to understand how people can treat their young children this way.
     
  11. Absolutely. What they are hearing and enduring is sickening. Treating the older child as that woman is doing is child cruelty. I would call Socail Services at once. Please don't delay.

    Yeah, maybe, but the children would be my concern.

     
  12. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    A telephone call to social services, leave it as an anonymous call.
    Social services have to act on all anonymous calls, - the parents at my school know this and use it to get back at one other if they have a tiff.
    Interestingly, social services are often quicker to respond to anonymous tip offs than they are to respond to school or children's centre referrals. Such is the way of the world.
    Recount what you have said here - say that you are concerned for the wellbeing of the children and think the mother needs help.
    Continue to report if you have concerns. Every call will be logged and you have then done all you can.

     
  13. Please call.

    One of my little ones is getting great support this year. Her situation was only brought to light a year or two ago by a concerned neighbour. There were major issues at home - all parties are now getting support.

    Please phone.
     
  14. jellycowfish

    jellycowfish Occasional commenter

    Finding myself on the wrong end of the system (neighbours falsely accusing me of leaving young children alone), I know that referrals are anonymous and Social Services act quickly. My neighbour, whoever it was, phoned the NSPCC who referred case to Social Services. They had no idea which neighbour it was - SS lady was trying to be as helpful as possible to me, by saying that they had to follow up all calls, malicious or not, but had no idea where call had originated. Please phone now.
     
  15. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    Phone now. It's not as though you know them, so it isnt an awkard situation where you are friends with the neighbour. I just wish my old neighbour had rung SS when I was a kid after finding us crying outside having been locked out. Instead they took the attitude that it was none of their business. Years of misery ensued.
     

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