I can't match these [and on the whole I am quite glad not to be able to]. Just a sidelight, though: not all irresponsible parents are feckless drunks from council estates. It was the parents of a very nasty piece of work in a private school who said to me "you must be very strict with young Tarquin, because he does what he likes at home". And I lost count of the number of parents in the leafy-suburban high school who asked me to "have a word" with their offspring about their smoking/drinking/drug-taking/sex-lives because "s/he thinks the world of you, so s/he'll take some notice, it'll come better from you". And I quite often got reported to the head for "not fulfilling my tutorial duty of care" when I refused, on the grounds that it wasn't my job, or my problem if they were too cowardly or lazy to confront their children. Fortunately, he agree with me that it was my job to teach the students, not to bring them up.