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Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by becca0417, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. buntycat I wish it were that simple.

    arghhh im definitely going to tell him, ive jus rang him to see if we can meet up but he's not answering. Not sure if that's a bad sign. He'll want to know why I want to meet up but not really sure what I'll say to that???
  2. Just a thought, Becca, but how about writing out all the pros and cons you can think of on a piece of paper. It might help you think more clearly.
  3. Thanks cals will do I hadnt thought of that until now.

    Will let you all know if I get hold of my ex..

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    Good luck Becca!
  5. Although, as lovely and gorgeous as the baby would be now, it will be just as lovely and gorgeous in a few years time when everything in life is a little more stable. Just a thought.
  6. Hi Becca, haven't had the chance to catch up with you, but have been thinking of you!

    Keep chatting to us and do take care.

    TC sends you a whopper hug!
  7. I disagree with buntycat. Wanting to continue the pregnancy is not a good enough reason to do so. It's a phenomenal responsibility and one that you will be forcing the father into taking on - to whatever extent he feels like - but also that you force upon the child.

    Just to confuse you a bit more.
  8. Hope it goes ok with the ex.
  9. Been trying to get hold of him all night but either switched off or not answering. So just sent him a text saying can you ring me when you've got a minute, need to speak to you. Saw Liverpool were playing so he's prob not nr his phone at the mo anyway.

    Im jus so confused. One minute I want to get rid of it right now and another Im thinking actually I COULD do this. But I dont think I can on my own. I want to but its not the right time.

    As Cals said, a positive and negative list may help..I'll write it now.
  10. Hi Becca, have been reading and feel for you! I have been there...
    How old are you? Do you work?
    Hope you are not feeling too terrible x x
  11. becca, I've no doubt that you could do it and that you would be a great Mum but why not wait until circumstances are better and you will still be a great Mum. I think a pros and cons list is a good idea too.
  12. CJL

    CJL New commenter


    thinking of you, love.

    I read the early thread so forgive me if this has also been suggested. Don't Marie Stoppes do a free counselling service. I feel you need to talk to a qualified person who will not try to influence you but give a sounding board and support.

    Your practice Nurse?

    Just an idea.

    If you carrried on with the pregnancy would you be happy to give the baby to a couple looking to adopt?

  13. I agree bhappy. You can always 'manage', if people waited till they thought they were financially / emotionally ready then there would probably be no babies born ever. But I have always wanted to do more than just 'manage'. Maybe that's just me. I also think that if you are considering abortion you will read lots of stories about people who say it has affected them forever etc.(and this is obviously very sad) There are also people like myself - and I'm trying to phrase this without sounding like a heartless ***** beacuse I am not - who don't regret their decision for a minute and only think about it when reading threads like yours. I know that I did the best thing and I can't imagine having a 7 year old child now
    x x x x x
  14. OK Ive done the list; 2 positives and 5 negatives for having the baby. Kinda see which way this is going.

    Arrrgggggghhhhhh its jus frustrating me that I cant get hold of him, why should I be going through this on my own? He made this happen too, we were both irresponsible and stupid and at the moment Im the one dealing with it. I hate him right now.
  15. Also know where you are coming from. I was in my year abroad at uni when it all happened and the first thing the guy said was 'well you know what you have to do'. Now I knew that I was going to do that anyway but how dare he!! I had to have the being put to sleep procedure and he did not pay anything towards it and left my friends to take me to and from hospital (in a foreign country, he was from that country). I think telling him was what I found most scary - as if I had gone and done it all by myself!!
  16. CJL

    CJL New commenter

    At the moment he doesn't know what's happened.

    Try to be calm when you tell him and arrange to meet the next day after he's had some thinking time.
  17. arcenciel - I cannot believe that!! I guess Im petrified thats how mine will react. All I can imagine him saying is this is all your fault, you should have got the morning after pill. You're very brave to have done all that, and in a foreign country as well.

    CJL I will have a look on the Marie Stopes page, I had a quick skim through before I went to the drs and it had lots of sympathetic information. Thanks for the advice.
  18. Mathematically speaking, you need to weight the scores, as you do not have an equal number of positives and negatives.

    Award your 2 positives marks out of 50, depending on how much you agree with them. this will give you a score out of 100.

    Award your 5 negatives marks out of 20, also giving a score out of 100.

    I did this many years ago, whilst deciding whether to dump a long term boyfriend. It made my mind up for me.
  19. I can understand it must be driving you mad that you cant get hold of him, but no matter what he says, it is completley your choice. Although I think it would be nice if he was there to support you either way. I know a few people who have had abortions, some who had even children already and they all chose it because it was simply not the right time or them. I would like to add that none of them feel that their lives have been destroyed, some even felt relief (if thats the right word).
  20. Having posted that i read CJL's post though saying that he does not yet know and felt I had tarred your ex with the same brush. CJL is right, he has no idea and so of course he is celebrating liverpool's win! How do you think you will react, knowing him and all? Were you together a long time?
    x x x

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