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Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by becca0417, Apr 8, 2007.
((( becca )))
Just take your time before you make any decision.
Okays, if you don't want the baby, help is here:
If you do, support is here:
and to chat to others in the same position:
and of course, you have us! :0)
Take care, and keep chatting, you can bounce those worries onto us.
Good luck with your decision. Sorry it didn't end up being the news you wanted. Remember - there are plenty of people on here to support you.
Thank you everybody. I do need people to talk to. And people I dont know.
I know I need to tell my ex but I have no idea what to say. We're not getting back together even though I know thats what he will want. I dont want that. Not right now anyway.
Thanks TopCat Ill spend some time reading them. The only way I can make an informed decision is to have all the facts.
Hi Becca - just read the update and I know it wasnt the result you were hopping for. I hope you are ok and make the right decision for you (((Becca)))
Dont think I'll be sleeping much tonight...my head is a whirl. Didnt have that drink tho so thats something.
Dont know what to do....
I would just tell your ex and get it over and done with. When my sister fell pregnant and she was in a similar situation she felt under more pressure about what peole would say. But once she got it off her chest and told her ex she felt like a weight had been lifted! x
If you're not thinking of keeping it then I wouldnt tell anyone than those you really need to. I have a friend who kept the baby just because everyone knew.
I can see how she would feel better. I think I will feel lots better. I just dont know how to say it to him. Do I jus come out and say I'm pregnant. Also if he knows I have something 2 talk 2 him about...which is the only way he'll meet up with me, he wont come until he knows what kinda thing its about. Dont wana tell him over text/phone thats not on.
I agree bhappy. Im not sure yet what I will do. I want me and my ex to make the decision together but not sure that's possible. I jus need some back up. Wont be tellin parents yet until I have made a definite decision - know mum will try and persuade me to have the baby and this needs to be my choice.
Becca - just remember, lots of women have been in your position - you are by no means alone. Make whatever decision you want and you will be supported on here, and on other websites. Go to your GP, talk to them - they will not want you to carry on a pregnancy you don't want but will equally help you to carry on if that is what you want - there is no pressure. Just take a few days to get used to it yourself before you tell your ex - keep smiling honey, whichever way you play it, it ain't the end of the world x
I hope that everything turns out ok whatever you decide. It's ultimatley your own decision whether you consult your ex and he expresses his wishes or not, as you no doubt already know. Good luck
Thanks Noja, it helps to realise Im not the only one going through this. Feels like it though. I will go to the drs this week. And I will wait a few days before I tell him. I need to work out how to do it. And get my own head round it first.
Bhappy thank you for all your messages today - this thread has kept me going this afternoon. I know its my decision and that makes it a lot harder.
One of us will always be awake and ready to reply to you - one thing's for sure, you are most definitely not alone.
Thanks TopCat Im going to try and get some sleep now but dont think it'll happen. Havent eaten all day so maybe need to get something now before I go to bed. May be back in a few hours when I cant sleep....
I will keep posting though..even if for my own sanity!!
hey, i've just seen this post...it must be v v hard to be pregnant and without partner...can't imagine what a stress you are in..do make a decision in the next week or so with regards to whether you:
1) continue pregnancy and put baby up for adoption
2) continue pregnancy and keep baby raise it on your own but tell the dad
3) continue pregnancy and ask the dad to get back with you to raise baby together as a couple
4) don't continue pregnancy and ask GP for abortion ASAP (if you do this you have to decide whether you tell the dad or not)
i've never been in this situation but my best advice i would give to a friend in this situation is that if they were definately going to get an abortion i would tell as few people as possible and certainly not the dad as he might try to change your mind. with regards to abortion definately get it ASAP if thats what you decide...if you do it in the first few weeks i thought they just gave you hormone pills to make you essentially miscarry an embryo smaller than your baby fingernail??..... a bit longer and they also need to use more invasive methods???? and obviously the latest abortions are very emotionally and physically painful as it is more like a still birth.
i would really take a week or 2 to decide what to do...think about money...could you afford it?...think about being responsible for someone else possibly on your own..think about your job and maternity leave and working post-birth....think about fate...sometimes these things just happen and aren't the best planned events but it works out in the end.
half the time it really does depend on how much your family, freinds and the dad support your decision to continue or not continue the pregnancy
if it were me.. im 24, 2nd year teacher, single, renting, looking forward to a career...a baby in no way fits in the equation in the next 5 years...but my friend had 2 kids by the time she was 20...still with the dad...planning on gettin married...she's doing her degree now...her kids wil be in school by the time she starts her career.
please please talk to a close friend, preferably one who is in a similar financial and relationship and career and house-buying situation to you...what would they do?
Becca i am sory that you did not get the result you wanted; whatever you decide is your decision - i am thinking of you and good luck x
oh sweetheart. so sorry. Thinking of you, i know how hard this is. x
just wanted to say that i've been in a very similar position...i went for an abortion consultation, booked it, then as soon as i changed my mind it turned out to be ectopic. i know how confused you must be at the moment, but i'm sure you'll feel less panicky soon. just make sure you don't rush into any decisions, and look after yourself
Don't know what to say really. I hope everything turns out for the best, whatever the best is. As others have said, don't rush into anything. Have you got a good mate in a different part of the country who you could visit for a few days? Talk to them as they're removed from the situation? x x x