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Ok to invite only one partner to wedding?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by leatherpatches, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Are you expecting them to honour your union if you don't honour theirs?
    if not why invite them?

    BTW I am not married, my partner and I made a personal commitment and that is all I believe is necessary. The wedding thing in a church is flim-flam. The ceremony and certificate itself is a subjugation of the personal to the state. What actually matters is the feasting and the people you choose to share it with. Which seems to be the bit that people are compromising.

  2. Paradoxicalgirly

    Paradoxicalgirly New commenter

    I know I'm going to be invited to a wedding meal later this year without my partner, and I'm fine with that. The couple involved have already had a religious ceremony, but are having the legal ceremony this summer, followed by a meal. He's inviting three colleagues from work to the meal, minus partners. As it happens I probably won't be able to go as I should have just given birth and I don't think Mr Para would be up to looking after baby on his own so soon! Weddings can be expensive - I was just touched that he'd wanted to include me in his celebrations. He's never met Mr Para anyway!
  3. A young colleague of mine got married a couple of weeks ago, he got married in church, had the reception in a pub and then an 'evening do'. He sent me, and other work colleagues, an email inviting us to join him and his new wife to the evening event, a simple buffet and a disco. Our team at work had done a collection and bought the couple a gift, which they were delighted with. There was no question that my husband would come with me, he doesn't know any of my work colleagues (leather doesn't know the couple does he?) and would have been bored silly. One colleague bought her partner but as a couple they knew the bride and groom., the rest of us went as work colleagues and had a brilliant time. I would have hated to have my husband with me!
    So leather, I think it is totally reasonable.
    Do you want to go to an 'evening do' with your wife's colleagues?
    Do you know her colleagues, you say you don't know the couple?
    If you did go would you expect your wife to introduce you to all her colleagues/friends and only dance with you, or would you be happy for her to gas away with her mates and join them all on the dance floor?

  4. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    Why not just ask if your other half can come too?
  5. Kelloggs

    Kelloggs New commenter

    Many years ago my friend invited me to her wedding but not my (then) husband. I knew she didn't like him but I still felt that I should be loyal and stick up for him, so I refused to go. We went to France for the day instead - she was absolutely right to hate him, but that was MY decision to still be with him at the time. On the other hand, it was her wedding and she only wanted people she cared for there. Overall it caused a bit of a rift, but we got over it.
  6. hmmm interesting, mine was a very 'shoestring' wedding - so we decided on a policy that we would only invite people we could name. This worked out fairly well.
  7. But this is just your opinion, surely? For me (moreso than for my husband), making my vows in church was the most important partof getting married - the whole point of it all. The feasting was fun, of course, but we viewed that as a get-together of our friends & loved ones, not the main event of the day.
  8. My wedding and the festivities was a "come if you want and bring along whoever you want affair"-
    But we had a very quiet registry office affair and then a big knees up in the evening where numbers didn't matter, as we agreed a fixed price with the venue and had a buffet and unlimited alcohol (apart from spirits).
    My sister had a very formal affair with limited numbers.
    Personally, I think convention has its place but you cannot expect all folk to live by convention. Maybe I am too laissez-faire.
    If I were ever to marry again, there would just be me and hubby to be and my kids.
    Because the whole faff of the wedding is stooooooooooopid. Only to get divorced again a while later. Or to get into silly debt to wear a frilly dress and a daft tie.
    I don't need a princess dress or lobster, I don't care who the hell is there - because the next time nobody will be there.


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