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'Oh, you'll chnage' - NO! Actually, I bloody well won't!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Emmsy Squired, May 13, 2007.

  1. Unusual is better, it isn't unnatural or it wouldn't be happening. Not all women are destined for motherhood for a variety of reasons.
     
  2. gtubvx13

    gtubvx13 New commenter

    moonlight to remind u of ur original comment it was:
    "i just think that it is normal to want to have kids, it is like natural"
    To change this to "unusual" is a step in the right kind of direction, but it still suggests that ur spectrum of experience is fairly small.Have an opinion by all means, but dont fall into the trap of judging what is "normal"/"Usual" or "natural".
     
  3. well, it is unusual for any species not to want to procreate. Whilst the act itself is fun, it is the procreation that shan't be happening.

    I have NEVER understood the desperate NEED of some to have a biological child. Surely a child is a child? Adopt.
     
  4. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    helkat i think it may be your understanding that is limited (as is your use of the english language)

    where have i said anything about hating children?
     
  5. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    I hope you saw post 49, maja. My statements were factual, rather than emotional and I certainly do not criticise anyone for not wanting to have them (it's a huge commitment in all respects!), but I don't think I can argue against biological drives, which DO exist, whether people are aware of them or not, or reject them or not, and are the reason why many people have that "desperate need" to have a child of their own.
     
  6. I liked my life. Could do what I wanted, when I wanted. It will never, ever, ever be the same again and ... sorry to any baby fans out there, there are some incredible aspects to it but OMG it is hard and I do 100% see why others don't want their own!
     
  7. gtubvx13

    gtubvx13 New commenter

    fair enough moonlight-i was taking ur use of "anti- children" to mean someone who strongly dislikes kids.sorry about that.
     
  8. surely a child is a child?

    would have to disagree slightly there

    some people do have a very natural desire and need to have their 'own' child

     
  9. I am tired of the line "well you're only *insert age here*, you'll change your mind"

    I think once you exit puberty you know your own mind enough that others should feel fairly confident in your decision making abilities!
     
  10. there is a possibility that I may not be able to conceive, i know this on good authority

    but I am not the sort of person that is willing to adopt. Yes, that may be the completely wrong attitude, but I have an inner need for a child that has grown inside me and one that I have given birth to. One that will look like me and inherit some of my personality traits
     
  11. That is my point FlipFlop. I truly cannot see the difference. If oyu want children, then there are hundred if not thousands that desperately NEED a home. Why not adopt?

    Why do people naturally accept a biological urge to HAVE children over one NOT to?

    It is not something that people can explain to my satisfaction, just as I cannot explain mine in reverse.
     
  12. because deep down that child is not mine

    don't get me wrong, I hope above all hopes that I will be able to conceive, and if i had my 'own' I would then be able to adopt, providing I had the stability to raise another child

    I just don't feel that I would be able to accept it as the only option
     
  13. but then I don't believe there is a biological urge to NOT want children

    I believe it is an educated lifestyle choice
     
  14. Really? So in other words YOUR desires are biological but mine aren't?

    Just how does that work? Not everyone is wired the same way, we have different sexual urges and desires, so why is it so difficult to accept that this extends to child bearing too?

    In the past, such choices were not common, there was not a great deal in the way of contraception and women had fewer choices. Now, women can choose not to conceive.

    I do not feel sickened by it, I do not feel horrified, I just shan't be having children.
     
  15. Maja, my mother had a lot of problems conceiving her own baby and in the end, she and my father decided to adopt. However, before anything happened she discovered she was pregnant with my brother.

    Years later, discussing "what might have been" with my father, I asked him if he thought it would have been the same if he'd adopted. I was surprised to get a categorical, "No."

    I think I can understand it. My baby sort of looks like me (poor kid!) and sort of looks like my husband, and it's exciting thinking he is both of us. And I do feel this weird pull that I just don't think I'd have with a baby that wasn't mine .... I don't mean that in a negative sense, I really admire people who do but for me I could not adopt and love someone else's baby like my own!
     
  16. I have been told all my life that I am weird for thinking this way. I truly don't get it - the desire for one's own flesh and blood. Whilst I respect that others feel that way, I don't.

    Pity that the respect does not extend both ways and people assume I am hiding something or lying to myself or don't know myself ..

     
  17. just an opinion maja

    I also believe that sexual urges and desires etc also come from an educated society

    remove everything from the world except what occured naturally and I personally believe that nobody would decide not to have kids

     
  18. maja, don't get me wrong... i do not think you are weird at all. you have made a decision about your life and I do respect anyone who makes any decision in life

    however, personally I do not feel that it is 'biological' to not want kids
     
  19. I really do respect you actually maja. I think you must be an exceptionally loving and unselfish person, and how can I help but respect and admire that?
     
  20. It is a biological thing for me. It has never been a need, a desire or even a dream in my sleep. Ever. Not even as a child. People brought babies to the house, I looked, I left.
     

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