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'Oh, you'll chnage' - NO! Actually, I bloody well won't!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Emmsy Squired, May 13, 2007.

  1. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    No, not because we have the equipment. Because animals are preprogrammed to do whatever possible to continue their species.

    And whilst I'm personally on the side of choice, I will say to Wababs, for women at least it is entirely different when you have your own (as opposed to looking after someone else's) as we produce a hormone (can't remember if during pregnancy or birth - birth, I think) which removes our selfish rational ideas and replaces them with wanting to nurture the child and helps natural bonding.
  2. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    i understand why people dont want to have children but i do feel a bit concerned that people who are so anti-children might be teachers
  3. Emmsy Squired

    Emmsy Squired New commenter

    no i love the kids i teach - age 11 upwards.
    when i visit primary schools i'm clawing at the security gate toget the hell out
  4. I am not anti-children. I like children. I love teaching. I simply shall not be having my OWN children.

  5. Well, I never wanted kids. And in 2001 had surgery and radiation therapy due to uterine cancer and so now cannot have children...and you know what? I still do not want kids! Maybe being a teacher of shi**y kids for 18 years helps in the 'I do not want kids' feeling. It is also interesting that when I do the lifeboat exercise where you have to save some lives, and choose who will die, that kids always save people with kids. When I ask them why they say 'because the are parents'. I say 'and your point is?' THey say 'their lives are more valuable because they have kids'. I then tell them that I am sure that my parents do not regard my life as non-valuable because I do not have children. GO FIGURE!!!!!
  6. gtubvx13

    gtubvx13 New commenter

    had u not considered, 'harsh but fair', that not wanting children is not being 'anti-children'?!Sorry to point out the obvious!
  7. HBF... I havent seen anyone say they hate children or are anti-children!
  8. 'a hormone (can't remember if during pregnancy or birth - birth, I think) which removes our selfish rational ideas and replaces them with wanting to nurture the child and helps natural bonding' and this explains why some mothers have their children removed?

    SELFISH ideas? Because I shan't be having children I am now not only UNNATURAL but SELFISH.

    Oh this gets better...

  9. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    "Don't want em, never wanted, the thought of ever wanting them sickens me!
    I wake up after dreaming i'm pregnant and it terrrifies me.
    Crying, ****ty nappies, 18 yrs of dependence, **** house, no money - NO thanks!!!"

    the above is not exactly pro children is it?
  10. It makes your blood boil doesn't it Maja. I get this **** everyday. Probably because we work in education it is worse!
  11. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    :eek:) Stop twisting! Am repeating the words of the psychologist on my counselling course when we were studying attachment theory! We are all selfish beings to some extent! I didn't mean because you don't want kids! We all want time to ourselves, don't want to be permanently attached to something that takes up all our time etc. But women do produce a hormone when they give birth that helps them with this. I was making the point that a week with someone else's child is not going to produce the same effect as giving birth to your own for this reason.
  12. HBF, it's pro not having HER OWN children.... not other peoples children!
  13. You know what I said to MrD today? "I am glad we dont have kids.. cause it means we can weed kill a huge area (that we will be patioing over) without having to worry about kids eating it."

    I personally hold my hands up and say Yes I, personally, am selfish and do not want kids. I like my life how it is, I like having my house as I want it, rather than having to kiddie proof everything, I like being able to do what I like when I like rather than having to revolve around someone else.
    And while I do everything within my power to never fall pregnant (a friend of mine could never understand it when I would swear cause I'd forgotten a pill which meant no sex for 7 days!) IF I was to ever fall pregnant by MrD I would have to keep it because it would be his child.
  14. One point I will repeat.

    Do not gauge your desire to have a baby by how you view other people's babies and kids. They are almost always horrible.

    Your own are completely different.
  15. Much better, thank you.

    It doesn't make my blood boil at all, I find it funny when people tell me I am wrong or that I don't know myself. Blah, blah, blah. No-one knows me better.

    It has never wound me up. You can only get truly wound up about it if you are not 100% sure of yourself.

    As I said, I like children, I have no objection to children, children are great, without them I have no job.

    I shan't be having my own biological ones. End of discussion.
  16. gtubvx13

    gtubvx13 New commenter

    HBF I repeat there is a big difference between not wanting ur own kids and hating all kids.Do you really not get that?I dont mean to be cruel but ur understanding seems very limited
  17. Oops, sorry to whoever red boxed this!!!
  18. This has got very heated since I went to talk to my mum on the phone (page 3), even some people calling other people names!!! I did say in one of my posts that I did not want anybody getting offended and I really dont think I am being judgemental. I dont think that anybody is unnatural for not wanting to have kids I think that is is unusual not to want them
  19. One of my main arguments to my mum was that apart from all the material things we could afford that we couldnt on one wage was that it was unnatural. My reasoning was that why would any women put herself through so much pain when you naturally avoid anything else that causes pain and therefore being pregnant and giving birth was unnatural. (Yes my mum did laugh and laugh)

    I have also never changed a nappy or fed either of my nieces. (much to my sisters annoyance)
  20. Alena

    Alena New commenter

    Ah Stedders, you are the same as me, same age, same outlook. I felt like I was reading my own mind when I read your post - nice to know that I am not the only one!! Thanks.


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