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'Oh, you'll chnage' - NO! Actually, I bloody well won't!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Emmsy Squired, May 13, 2007.

  1. I used to hate these culture vulture parents with their horrid and noisy kids in museums or with prams, I used to think why don't you blXXXdy well stay at home where you belong. Then I have taken mine to such places but I must say I still find young kids annoying in museums, we all have to endure them I suppose.
     
  2. I never wanted kids ...

    look what happened!!!
     
  3. Beckylou, i just think that it is normal to want to have kids, it is like natural. No judgement attached at all.

    Emsy, of course you can have a loving relationship and no children
     
  4. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    Emsy, it sounds like you're more scared of having/wanting them rather than having made the decision that you just don't want them?
     
  5. Emmsy Squired

    Emmsy Squired New commenter

    No, i genuinely dont want them - but yes, it really scares me too! probably irrational - can't explain why really
     
  6. madwoman

    madwoman New commenter

    actually I was exactly the same and then I DID change my mind!

    but that is life and that is your decision, if you want kids have them if you don't then fine.

    the important thing is that you make the decisions, and they are also yours you change if you wish.
     
  7. I have never had that desire... no point in my life where I have thought about my future with them in. Still don't have the slightest twinge that I may want them.

    It's the chicken and the egg here... what comes first, the desire to not want kids then the phobia follows or vice versa?

    A councellor put mine down to something called feotal(sp) memory syndrown. Mum had a car crash with me in the womb.

    Moonlight, would welcome mens opinions here, but I know so many unhappily married men due to the arrival of children!
     
  8. syndrown??? syndrome.... now I've lost all ability to spell!!
     
  9. gtubvx13

    gtubvx13 New commenter


    "i just think that it is normal to want to have kids, it is like natural."


    moonlight34-there is something wrong with u if u
    believe that-although obviously im overall going with the assumption that ur trying 2 wind ppl up as noone could actually be so thick as 2 think that
     
  10. Beckylou, if you dont want to have kids just enjoy not having them.If that is what you want it is fine. Sorry my mum on the phone, must go.
     
  11. why do you have to be thick to think that

    I also believe its natural to want to have kids, doesn't mean i frown upon those who choose not to

    but hey, to you I must be stupid
     
  12. I started a thread similar to this ages ago so I'm pleased it's not just me who doesn't want them. I ranted and raved about the people who kept telling me that I'd want them one day. Then, suddenly I though seriously about it and came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be that bad an idea at some point.

    BUT....

    My other half and I had to look after my one year old niece for about a week, pretty much 24/7. I love her to pieces but it made me revert straight back to my original plans of childlessness! Even my other half came out of it looking shocked and said that he definitely had thought twice about having our own. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear him say that!!

    At least now I can say that I've tried it and I don't like it.
     
  13. So I must be unnatural then?

     
  14. janemk

    janemk New commenter

    Don't be too hard on him/her - biologically it's true as the species would die out if most of us weren't biologically determined to conceive. It's modern advances/choice that have given us the option.
     
  15. Emmsy Squired

    Emmsy Squired New commenter

    now, now! I simply refuse to allow name calling on my thread!!! be nice kiddies :)
     
  16. Why is it natural? because we have the equipment?
     
  17. You will find that most people who have children have not gone through life cooing at babies, foaming at the mouth when passing mothercare and stuffing a cushion up their jumper to see what having a "bump" would be like.

    Many people find babies a dreadful prospect, until they decide to have one. For some like me, it was seeing a dirty neglected toddler, being fought over like a rag doll by her druggie parents and smelling her dirty nappy, as she cried in her grubby yellow cardigan that made me want to take her, just take her and run. I decided instantly that I could love and protect a baby. If I had never seen that child, I would have remained childless, I think.

    For most people, I think it is a gradual dawning, often brought on by a vague sense of unfulfillment and gentle nagging by one's partner.

    You don't need to proclaim yourself vehemently anti baby, just because the idea right now is anathema. I suspect that most people feel like this at one time or another.
     
  18. Well, I never wanted kids. And in 2001 had surgery and radiation therapy due to uterine cancer and so now cannot have children...and you know what? I still do not want kids! Maybe being a teacher of shi**y kids for 18 years helps in the 'I do not want kids' feeling. It is also interesting that when I do the lifeboat exercise where you have to save some lives, and choose who will die, that kids always save people with kids. When I ask them why they say 'because the are parents'. I say 'and your point is?' THey say 'their lives are more valuable because they have kids'. I then tell them that I am sure that my parents do not regard my life as non-valuable because I do not have children. GO FIGURE!!!!!
     
  19. And even after becoming parents it is still true that kids are like farts - you hate other people's, but relish your own.
     
  20. Its not about proclaiming anti babiness.... it's the fact that people constantly say you must be the other way! We would never talk about it otherwise, just get on with our childless existance!!
     

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