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Oh my, I think I’m being bullied.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Zoe29, Nov 11, 2018.

  1. Zoe29

    Zoe29 New commenter

    I have been teaching for a very long time. In the past couple of years I have been based in a brand new setting within the school, very exciting. But this has always come with a clause, I have to work below a known difficult leader. I knew this when I accepted the post but thought I could handle it. Clearly I can’t. Last year I contacted a teacher stress line, I took one day off, feeling terribly guilty, returned to find ofsted in school the following day.
    I have on many attempts tried to stand up to this person, they pretend they are a friend, using this to manipulate me. When I returned to school to find my classroom completely changed it was with “good intention” I was told when I complained. Although this person then moved around staff crying on their shoulder about how ungrateful I was. I dropped a day at work to ease my stress, applied for jobs but now I just want to leave teaching. This person is dividing my team that I have to manage. Failed my performance management, even though they changed the data I handed in, and doesn’t let me leave my classroom or let me have PPA time myself to get on with my Pm targets.
    This is quite therapeutic just typing this. I am being bullied or manipulated but what do I do? The HT is aware that this person is difficult to work with as all but me refused to work with them. There has been a previous intervention with a union over bullying a member of staff.
    I have lost my confidence, I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just want this to stop. Advice greatly accepted.
     
  2. oceanroc7

    oceanroc7 New commenter

    Oh dear this sounds really tough. I suspect most people will suggest that you contact your union, and since this person has already had intervention it might scare him/her into behaving better.
    However, it does seem as if your HT should be doing more to support you.
    Can you go in on Monday and ask for the earliest possible meeting with your HT?
    They will not want to lose you over this and may be unaware of how this person has been affecting your welfare and happiness.
     
  3. PGCE_tutor

    PGCE_tutor New commenter

    It's too late for that - there's been trouble around this person for some time. The fact that other staff refused to work with this person was trouble. As much as it's against your nature, you owe it to yourself and staff following you to upset the apple cart here. Talk to your HT. The way you expressed it here seems to capture it exactly - "I knew this when I accepted the post but thought I could handle it. Clearly I can’t." Say these exact words to your HT.
    And please don't be pushed out of teaching if this can't be resolved. Despite the impression these boards give there are many, many lovely to schools to work in and lovely people to work with.
     
    Stormy861, Zoe29, FrankWolley and 4 others like this.
  4. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Star commenter

    There's not much you can do apart from speak to this person or leave. You could try telling this person that you know what they're doing and that it has to stop.
    Easier said than done but your only other option is to leave as it sounds like the head can't manage her either.
     
    Zoe29 likes this.
  5. Sanz1981

    Sanz1981 Occasional commenter

    If you have any enough evidence etc, and if the threat of union hasn’t bared fruit, it’s time for you to deal with it privately. You will need LOTS of evidence. Concrete evidence of bullying. Examples which one cannot refuse.

    Let me know if you need help. I have aided many.
     
    Stormy861 and Zoe29 like this.
  6. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Speak to your head and speak to your union.
    You need specific incidents, with time and place and any witnesses recorded.
    Start this record keeping from tomorrow, recording every teeny little thing, and make an appointment with the head for the end of the week, early next week. Take your record with you and explain what is going on and how you now feel.

    You don't need to leave teaching and shouldn't need to leave the school, but you do need it to stop and your head and union can enable that to happen. Enlist their support in doing so.
     
    Stormy861, Zoe29, bajan and 2 others like this.
  7. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    You should cause trouble. This is not the way a professional should be treated.
    Log it, and go and see your Head. who is clearly aware of the difficult nature of this person and should be supportive.
     
    Stormy861, efm, Zoe29 and 1 other person like this.
  8. install

    install Star commenter

    Union. Why was your data changed? Did it happen to others too ? Was there an error with the original data? Not good. :cool:
     
  9. Robberto

    Robberto Occasional commenter

    If you trust your HT go to them first, be open and honest. see what happens, record everything said.

    If you don't fully trust your HT then go straight to the union. Either way you have alarm bells ringing and best to address them now. Best wishes, x
     
    Stormy861 and Zoe29 like this.
  10. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Go see your HT and ask the very specific question "What would happen if I raised a formal grievance against this person"
    That's all.
    I'm not suggesting you use the grievance procedure at all. I'm suggesting that with the greatest of clarity, you ask your HT what would happen if you did.
     
    Stormy861 and Zoe29 like this.
  11. install

    install Star commenter

    See your Union before you approach your ht. Some bullies have backing sadly in surprising places :cool:
     
    Stormy861 and Zoe29 like this.
  12. bajan

    bajan Occasional commenter

    and doesn’t let me leave my classroom or let me have PPA time myself to get on with my Pm targets.

    How is this person preventing you from leaving your classroom. You need to remind them that you cannot be directed in your PPA time.
     
  13. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    Install is quite right. Why was your data changed? etc etc - - - Don't let this bully win. Stand your ground firmly and calmly and let her see that you are in charge of your own class - not her. She's obviously not got anything better to do in life than annoy you. What a pity!
     
  14. Zoe29

    Zoe29 New commenter

    Child to adult ratios. I don’t get cover to leave the room, thus for legal reasons I must stay. Sounds OTT but sadly true.
     
    agathamorse likes this.
  15. Zoe29

    Zoe29 New commenter

    Thank you for the reply. I just need abit of confidence that I am seeing the situation correctly.
     
  16. Zoe29

    Zoe29 New commenter

    I have to hand the data in to this person first. They look, call me into the office and make me change it. Explaining that this person is not this, that etc. Which is odd as they don’t know the child and will not look at my evidence. I have been given the impression that I really don’t know what I am doing.
     
  17. Zoe29

    Zoe29 New commenter

    Yes this has happened to others but I’m not sure they would stand up and say anything.
     
  18. menhir

    menhir New commenter

    I really feel for you! This was me a few years ago. A teacher I worked with lied, cried and managed to get rid I'd many TA's and bullied colleagues but seemed to be able to come out of every situation smelling of roses. The HT too, acknowledged she was a tricky character but never acted on concerns expressed so this teacher became more difficult and bold & vicious in her bullying tactics.It is horrible and I would suggest that you start planning your exit. Life is too short to be dealing with this type of character. If it is known that this teacher is hard to work with & bullying then SLT and the HT should be tackling it. The lack of action does not fill me with confidence and I fear it will not get better....
     
  19. install

    install Star commenter

    What are they asking you to change?
     
  20. Fleecyblanket

    Fleecyblanket New commenter

    You need to refuse to change the data. You have evidence of where the children are 'at.

    Please contact your union.
     
    agathamorse likes this.

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