Sorry in advance, this turned out to be much longer than I'd expected! I was diagnosed several years ago with depression and both general and social anxiety. This can obviously make teaching very difficult at times. About two and a half years ago I moved from the US after I got married and got a job teaching in an academy. I had a very difficult first year (2 terms) after jumping in to classes who had a lot of teacher turnover, with behaviour issues and feeling overwhelmed with all the classes etc. Things did get better my second year though there had been many times I thought I wouldn't make it to the end of that first year. I'm back for my third year (2nd and a half?) but I've been struggling a lot this year. I have a lot of stress at home as well and a lot of it comes from trying to accommodate all of my workload with family life. I'm the only person in my department who leaves at 5 everyday and I feel my work suffers because of it, but I need to pick up my kids and spend time with my family. To make up for it, I get up at 5am to get ready for the day ahead which is just not a feasible solution. Recently I've been feeling really overwhelmed and and anxious. The smallest things have me flying off the handle, crying, getting angry and upset. I have not been a great teacher because I haven't been able to control my emotions. I was signed off sick for 2 weeks before Easter break after having a panic attack and it was the first time I felt like I could relax in ages. During those 2 weeks I was responsible for setting cover, which added a lot of stress until I'd gotten it finished. Now the end of Easter break is approaching and I've been thinking about returning to work. Yesterday (Wednesday) was the first time I really thought about everything I would need to do (the planning, dealing with behaviour after 2 weeks of cover, etc) and I got extremely panicky again. Chest tight and fluttery, stomach nauseous, head feeling "zoomy". I couldn't read or relax or so anything but read these message boards. I couldn't sleep last night because all I was doing was obsessing over going back to work and once I finally did fall asleep I dreamt about it! I've been referred to Occupational Health, my appointment is a week after school resumes. I think school is expecting me to go back on Monday but the way I'm feeling I'm not sure I can/should. The first time I've relaxed since I ykubjt about it was after I messaged the doctor about a sick note extension.