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NYE party - shoes off in the house?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by potplant, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Several people said that it was reasonable and, many pages ago, someone posted that it would be ok if the question was phrased politely. The OP appears to have taken that into consideration.
    The histrionics were hardly the fault of the OP.
    (and a Happy New Year to you Baubs!)
     
  2. and many more didn't.

    by going ahead and doing it anyway

    I didn't say it was.

    Happy New Year to you as well.
     
  3. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    perhaps it was that re-reading a written declaration of intent might help define your view?
    Still I believe it is rude to ask people to remove their shoes. You are telling them you do not respect their attitudes to other peoples property and that they are incapable of making a judgement about the suitability of their shoes.
    It is infantilising your guests.


     
  4. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    mind you, covering the interior of your home in fluffiness is infantilising your decor.
     
  5. I guess you might not know for sure until you invite the same people again....
     
  6. I am late to this.. but surely before the party you sweep the front path if its muddy etc.
    you place a coarse doormat outside to remove grit and a more absorbant doormat inside.
    A lot of smart shoes will be smooth soled so no where for dirt to hide.. so no problem.
    I would be stunned at a party and like to be left to make my own decisions.. if I have clean shoes on and have not walked on mud etc.. and given them a good wipe what is the problem.
    Of course kiddies take shoes offw hen they come in from playing but they are less careful where they walk .
    If clos efriends family ask away but they would know your expectations from previous visits.. failing that buy a carpet cleaner or rent one periodically and give the carpets a clean..
    Life is too short to worry about state of carpets.

     
  7. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Garden + manic dog x 6 and a bit years = manashee's given up on her carpet completely!
    On the plus side, I don't give a monkeys if I spill the odd bit of red wine now and again. [​IMG]

     
  8. I was discussing this notion of asking guests to remove shoes with some friends, and they find it rather strange as well.
    We were wondering if this is "normal" elsewhere - not thinking so much of the Muslim tradition raised earlier in the thread - more wondering if it's peculiar to thos cultures who use carpets on their floors. That in itself is considered a little unhygenic by those who aren't used to having such muck-gathering floor coverings.
     
  9. ScotSEN

    ScotSEN Senior commenter

    It wouldn't bother me to be asked I am rarely that precious about my outfit. I have actually been to a couple of posh parties where the invites state no stillettos. We generally don't ask guests to take off their shoes but as we live in the country and are often either inches deep in snow or mud most folk arrive wearing boots etc and change into 'indoor' shoes.
    someone who at the time wasn't a particularly close friend at the time, she is now, did ask us to take off our shoes as they had just had laminate flooring put in 9about 20 years ago) and didn't want the heels damaging it. Her hubby has bad asthma so they had to get rid of the carpets. Can't remember anyone objecting.
     
  10. Did anyone see come dine with me this week? It reminded me of this thread. One of the contestants asked another to take her shoes off and she was very very unimpressed!
     
  11. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    I don't know...I just wouldn't think twice about taking off my shoes in someone else's home, in fact I'd probably do it before I was asked. It just seems polite to me.
     
  12. Asta9

    Asta9 New commenter

    Another poster mentioned Japan. My husband is Japanese and I lived there for six years.
    Wearing shoes in the house is considered completely revolting by them. In general they are very fussy about hygiene. A couple of times when leaving my flat in Tokyo I forgot something and ran back inside with my shoes on, which horrified my husband. I also got shouted at once for entering a restaurant with my shoes on (some traditional ones require you to take shoes off, swapping them for slippers, which are provided). Lots of other public buildings provide slippers when you enter, you then leave shoes at the door or in a locker.
    I saw drunk businessmen on the train put their feet up on the seats to sleep but took their shoes off first, carefully arranging them on th floor.
    There was a famous case of a school shooting, where it was noted that the gunman took his shoes off before entering the school. I suppose this just proves how ingrained the habit is.
    Now I'm back here, the habit of taking shoes off inside has stuck and I do so in my flat and when visiting friends. We rarely have visitors but we do expect them to remove their shoes. Like other posters, we rent a flat with cream carpets, so that would influence me anyway (regardless of my Japanese experiences, I think). No-one has appeared to mind. My mother has problems with her feet, like another poster's MIL, so she brings slippers when she visits. She has been to Japan understood my husband's feelings.
    This thread reminds me of the one quite recently about children and weddings. I think there is always likely to be conflict between what we want and how far we can expect others to fit in with our wishes.
    In reference to the idea that carpets might be unhygienic- my husband has a real problem with carpets in toilets. I've come to share this, although I thought nothing of it before.

     
  13. I wore a knee-length satin cocktail dress with tights. Pumps are not an option, neither are boots or shoeless stockinged feet. High heels only. When I got to the do, no-one had taken their shoes off apart from small children who were skating up and hall floor in their socks, and no-one was asked to. Ten out of ten host and hostess points. Nice floor.
     
  14. I am just amazed that people prefer my less than pleasant feet with the bits of flaky skin to the possibility of dirt
     

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