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NYE party - shoes off in the house?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by potplant, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. It all seems a bit precious to me. A home is for living in.
    Where do you draw the line? - would you ask guests not to wear dark jeans if you have a white/cream sofa?
  2. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    It can't be helped. I have a pair of boots which, no matter how much I use the doormat on the way in, still leave a little puddle once I've taken them off and placed them in next tot he front door (the only bit of laminate in the flat). The same would happen if I was wearing them indoors surely.
  3. No. A very simple rule. When in someone else's home follow their rules. If you do not like them then leave.
    I have lived in different countries with different cultures and never had problems following this.
  4. This thread amused me no end. I cant fathom ANYONE I know asking me to take my shoes off when entering their home nor would I ask anyone to entering mine. That said, when we had the bad snow I kicked my boots off beforing coming into apartment (left in communal hall outside my door) and my friends who came off were taking theirs off when I answered the door- out of respect they did this without being asked (I wouldnt have asked) as they could see I had done so and offered to do same as thats what friends do.

    I have cream carpet- it has had wine spilled on it during a party- thats why you keep a neutraliser ready- whats the pt in having a lovely well decorated house if its not a home. I love my flat, have spent the last three yrs getting it just how I want it and I think it looks fab! Its my home tho not a show flat...I live in it not merely exist in it.
    the OP sounds odd to me and from that post I can already tell we would never form a RL bond...I like ppl who live in the real world not the perfect one someone has created for themselves
  5. go and live in Japan
  6. No thank you, if I wanted to live in a culture where that was the norm I would but I dont - I live in the UK. Thank you very much
  7. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    We took our shoes off in the house at home as children and were expected to remove them in other people's houses. I wouldn't expect to keep my shoes on when invited elsewhere.
  8. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    I take it you don't know any muslims?
  9. I dont know any muslims who have asked me to take off my shoes in their houses. I do have some muslim friends though. I am not muslim and dont know lots about their faith but I am of the personal opinion that I would not ask anyone to do this or do this if asked- I would rather not attend.
    There are 2 pts here:
    1st the OP wants the shoes off to protect her carpet not due to a religious belief
    2nd- even if it is a religious belief I still wouldnt do it- I am a Roman Catholic but dont expect all my friends to live as I do- they have their beliefs. Similarly I would be offended if they expected me to conform to their beliefs and not my own.
    Might not be what others think but that is how I feel regarding the issue
    I do think its a bit sad tho that ppl have managed to twist OP's thread from party etiquette to religion. Religion has always been a contentious copy- party etiquette is much more straight forward

  10. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    What like those crazy mullahs on the telly? No.
    But my mate Fisal is less bothered about formalities and he ain't bothered.
  11. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    I wasn't "twisting" it. I was merely pointing out one scenario where it might be respectful to remove your shoes in someone else's house.
    I think that's pretty rude, tbh.

  12. But my wife is Japanese. I suppose you think she should allow people to
    trawl muck through our house because that is what "British" people do.

    Has it ever occurred to you that in many cultures the taking off shoes is done simply to save the host from cleaning unneccessary mess from their carpets.

  13. As I clearly said I would rather not attend which is not rude. Rude would be attending, then asked to take my shoes off.
    Or attending, knowing I had to take my shoes off, and refusing and parading through their house in my stilettos.
    But if you think Im rude I dont really care- I am learning to be me and not the me people want me to be. This is me- I wouldnt take my shoes off!
    And as a footnote if I was asked to take my shoes off for a superficial reason like cream carpet I would turn around and leave and would never attend a soiree at said house again.

  14. There is difference ... If removal of shoes is the social norm then people would not even need to be asked ... If there is no social or cultural expectation then surely some people will think it odd
  15. Sorry - that made me laugh. I don't know you Sparky, but I have to say - why do people think that being themselves (yeah) is a GOOD thing? If I was always ME, I wouldn't have any friends. Or a job. Or a man.
  16. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    LOL: I think I'm sharing coffeekid's amusement.
  17. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    If someone is generous enough to invite you into their home and feed you, the least you can do is respect their wishes with trivial things such as removing shoes. In my opinion.
  18. After Sparky's posts I am now thinking of all the times I must have offended guests.
    1) Having them sleep in the spare room.....
    2) Asking them not to smoke in my house....
    3) Not allowing them to rummage through my belongings.

  19. Happy to amuse
    To each their own- but for me, having been suicidal and battling severe depression, anxiety and personal issues for over 2 years, paying hundreds if not thousands for therapy I think there is scope in life to be yourself and stay true to yourself- I never thought this before.
    Others may think its idealistic or airy fairy but for me for now it works
  20. that's a fair point actually, especially number 2.
    If there a difference between asking someone to take off their shoes when they enter your house or to go outside and smoke?
    I smoke, but I don't smoke in my house. I am quite happy for my friends to smoke, as long as they go outside. They think it's a bit strange that as I smoker I make them go outside, but that's what happens in my house - I do it, therefore so should they.
    So, if I prefer not to wear outdoor shoes in my own house, surely my guests should also repects that decision, and follow suit without argument?
    Afterall, my house, my rules - and if anyone doesn't like it, then I wouldn't want them as a guest in my house!

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