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nursery boy who singles out girls and seems to control what they do and where they go

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by rosyjoes82, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. hi,
    wondering if anyone has any similar experience and could offer any advice. I have just started working in a nursery and there is a 4 year old boy who every day chooses a girl who he then leads by the hand to areas of the classroom and they play togother. it isn't always the same girl, and he does sometimes play with other children but the more i think about his behaviour the more it worries me.
    jo
     
  2. hi,
    wondering if anyone has any similar experience and could offer any advice. I have just started working in a nursery and there is a 4 year old boy who every day chooses a girl who he then leads by the hand to areas of the classroom and they play togother. it isn't always the same girl, and he does sometimes play with other children but the more i think about his behaviour the more it worries me.
    jo
     
  3. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    As lurkmuch would say, welcome to the TES.

     
  4. Hi Jo, welcome to the boards!
    What specifically worries you about his behaviour?
    Is it the fact that he is choosing to play with one individual rather than everyone? Or because it's a female or that he is telling her what to do etc?
    What is his background? He might have a big sister at home who does this to him... could be all he knows!
     
  5. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Does what to him?

     
  6. Makes him play her games not his e.g. she wants to play barbies/dolls/ colouring etc whatever she likes to play with and because he is at home and she doesn't have a friend over, he has to play with her! His 'play' could be very directed at home if you see what I mean. So in his mind, this is how we 'play'. We lead them to the toys we want to play with e.g. the train set and they play it with us!

    Not sure I have explained myself very well!
     
  7. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    That's an awful lot of speculating!
     
  8. You're right! [​IMG] Was just trying to explain what I meant... could be one possibility but there is probably <strike>100 some</strike> more much likely explanations!
     
  9. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    By 'other children' do you mean boys?
     
  10. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    what is there in his behaviour that worries you?
     
  11. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    I think his behaviour is quite charming. If you want us to speculate on more disturbing aspects you need to give us some more info.
     
  12. One of my girls does the same thing. She has a different boy that she plays with every day. We don't have a problem with this and are not worried as she also has girls that she plays with outsid, she just seems to do activities with boys.
     
  13. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Maybe the boy mentioned in the OP's post will turn out to be gay.
    There, I've said it. I reckon that's what the OP is 'worried' about. Mind you, I have doubts about the OP. There's a trolly whiff about it.
     
  14. hsz06rgu

    hsz06rgu New commenter

    Oh people lets all try and help, rather than be dismissive and frankly somewhat rude (by that I mean certain people, not everyone)...
    ...Maybe what we should be asking the OP is this...what exactly is it about the behaviour that is concerning to you? Is he controlling with the girls, not allowing them to guide their own activities? When the girls suggest another activity, will he allow this or not? What is his background at home like? Does he have brothers/sisters/both? Were there any notes from his nursery or from his parents that mentioned anything similar? Is he generally a quiet child or quite outgoing? It may simply be that he enjoys the company of girls more than boys?
    I have a boy in my class who is very similiar. He has a twin sister in the class as well and I think he finds it easier to play with girls as he knows what to expect. He does enjoy playing with the boys as well, but this usually ends up with him 'fighting' with them as he does not yet understand where the line between playing and fighting is and they are wuite boisterous, thus sometimes I think he prefers the girls as they generally do not fight in the same way.
    I also have a boy who insists on wearing the pretty dresses and high heels every day. Does this mean he will probably grow up to be gay? Who knows, and quite frankly, does it matter? I didn't get the impression that this was what the OP was asking at all and the fact that some minds went there when everyone else was trying to help is more worrying to me.
    Hsz06rgu
     
  15. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    I think it was fair enough to ask if the OP thought the little boy might be gay. No, it wouldnt matter if he were.
    The OP didn't explain why she was worried or what she thought was worrying about the boy's behaviour.
     
  16. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    I think the fact the OP joined in 2008 and has only ever made one post to which they haven't returned suggests they are probably a troll and hoping to provoke posters ...
     
  17. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    That's what I think. The OP makes very little sense and has a whiff of something not far short of prurience about it.

     
  18. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Just one last thing. I know that I'm the witch of EYs in some people's eyes but I'm inky, not 'certain people' and I was irritated by the OP's vagueness re her worries because, as far as I could see, the little boy in question wasn't doing anything to be concerned about. There's been speculation galore about why he plays with the girls, but why? Let the OP come back and justify her 'worries' before you're lofty with me just because I cast doubt on them, hsz---.
     
  19. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Thank you for being so decent - know I posted rather irritably and was rather dreading signing up today!
     

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