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NQT 2nd Term-still depressed, overwhelmed and little progress...

Discussion in 'NQTs and new teachers' started by Keep_hope_alive, Mar 9, 2020.

  1. Keep_hope_alive

    Keep_hope_alive New commenter

    Hi,

    I have posted on here a few times as find it very helpful and don't feel so alone in this when I do. I am a very depressed and anxious NQT. I last posted that I was struggling to make it through the Autumn term- got through that.

    Now its the second term and Spring, people told me it will get easier. However, I am still struggling immensely. I am so stressed as I have so much going on in this month alone and I am worried I will not meet deadlines for marking and other tasks that I never wanted to do in the first place as well as being scrutinized in observations. I cannot wait for this term to be over! Its horrible! However, I think teaching is a terrible job- I have found that it is mainly about data not learning!

    I am also worried that I have gone through all this for nothing and will not pass my NQT year. I have not been told I have failed, however, I understand that I am way behind where I should be and still struggle with class management. It has been implied that I am not progressing. Therefore, what if I end up failing after all the stress I am putting myself through?
    I really want to be signed off for stress and have only taken a couple sick days this whole NQT year but I feel they will think I am doing it just to get out of the intense workload and avoid being observed. I cry on my way to work and on my way back. Even between lessons! I often have very dark thoughts including suicide. I know I should be stronger, I feel I am trying but no matter what I do its never up to standard anyway :(

    I am convinced I never want to teach again. Although I may want to work in education but not directly employed by education, rather through my own business ventures. I'm trying to hold on but I don't even think an NQT year is worth my health. I wish I could be signed off even if its a couple days a week and then come back after Easter to complete the final term. I have requested a letter online from GP but not sure I'll have any success with it.
    Sorry for the rant! Just needed to get this off my chest. I am honestly mind blown at how anyone survives teaching in the first year?! Yet alone those that continue for years! Teaching and the education system is horrific!
     
  2. thetapdancingteach

    thetapdancingteach New commenter

    Honestly well done for still going in. I'm an NQT too, and while I'm not suffering anywhere near as bad as this, I find myself staying up till the early hours every night because I can't face the idea of the following day, but then I end up sleeping late and getting to school on the last minute, and now I feel like I'm getting behind.
    I agree, it's a horrible environment some days, and now I'm concerned if we have to shut for COVID-19 and I end up not having enough days to pass my NQT then it will all have been for nothing :(:eek:
    I'd definitely say get yourself signed off- you're not in the right place for this now- and it's really not worth it! If you're having suicidal thoughts then it's not worth making yourself even worse for a bunch of ungrateful teenagers, if yours are anything like mine!!
    Just get counting down (I am!) and skip outta there on the last day. Drop me a message too if you need a pep talk. <3
    WE GOT THIS!!
     
    agathamorse and Keep_hope_alive like this.
  3. Keep_hope_alive

    Keep_hope_alive New commenter

    Thank you for your reply! Yes we can push through to the end of the school year together! I'm really trying to hold on as I've worked so hard- some days are better than others, some are horrible. I am definitely counting down lool currently 15 weeks left of the NQT year!
    Hopefully Summer term will be better.

    I wouldn't worry too much about schools shutting down as I think the UK will be the last place to do that due to their focus on the economy! However, even if they did I don't think it would prevent us from competing the NQT year as it's out of our control so sure they'd factor that into consideration.

    I hope you get a lot of rest and don't stay up so late! As you said out health is so important! And we need life balance. I really cannot wait until I never have to teach again! And when I give in my notice soon to leave at Summer.
     
    thetapdancingteach likes this.
  4. agathamorse

    agathamorse Senior commenter

    Go see your doctor and get signed off as you are obviously very stressed. Then take it from there.
     
    Shedman likes this.
  5. louisewindsor13

    louisewindsor13 New commenter

    I feel exactly the same.

    As schools are shut now:
    Just wondering where your thoughts are at now? Did you pass the spring term?
     

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