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Novelist's corner

Discussion in 'Book club' started by In_You_Go_Jones, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Star commenter

    And he's not even trying.
     
  2. Time for another, BP?
    We could always try the Cauchy distribution?
     
  3. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Star commenter

  4. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

  5. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Star commenter

    I know that's why I used it- and the English meaning ties in nicely with probability etc from Gossy's post.

    [​IMG]

    Sometimes even my fans forget just how fantastic I am....
     
  6. Actually that DAILY MAIL piece needs a bit of tweaking. Amended version:
    THE DAILY MAIL …. 21 st MAY 2011
    James Delingpole interviews the author of the novel everyone is talking about. A few months ago he was an anonymous teacher in west London. Now **** *******, author of 'The Man who thought he heard Jenny Lind sing...' is a literary superstar.
    It is a glorious morning in the summer half term.
    An unpretentious Nissan is parked in the driveway. **** is standing in the doorway. Mahler's Das Leid von der Erde wafts though the open front window. On the hallstand hangs a Bogart-style Burberry trench coat. I am obviously in the home of a man of innate good taste. He greets me warmly and it’s straight through to the kitchen where he has been busy with the coffee grinder. The strong aroma of freshly ground Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee fills the air.
    **** is dressed casually in a plain grey T-shirt, faded chinos and flip-flop sandals. His is alone at home – his wife (also a teacher) is out shopping at the new Westfield Shopping Centre at Shepherds Bush and his seventeen year-old son is off on a soccer training course. “He should be at home revising for his AS levels,” mutters **** “but his ambition in life is to play for Brentford FC.”
    With his lithe build, supple movements and shaven head **** looks younger than his fifty-four years.
     
  7. "So you're the guy who's been flashing in the park," says the reporter.
     
  8. Sorry: Mahler's Das Lied von der Erde
     
  9. I have (genuinely) been contacted by someone who has described the excerpt from my novel as 'absolutly stunning in its evocation'.
    'It's slow Saturday in mid-December. **** looks out through the darkening conservatory and snow clouds blanket Hillingdon. Snow falling like petals from the whitethorns of spring; snow drifting in oblique sheets over the Grand Union Canal at Uxbridge where sometimes on early summer morning jogs **** used to see the former boxer and now painter, the late Kevin Finnegan, at work at his easel. Snow. Everywhere. Snowing in finely granulated powder, in damp spongy flakes, in thin, feathery plumes, snowing from a leaden sky steadily, snowing fiercely, shaken out of grey-black clouds in white flocculent dustings, or dropping in long low lines, like white spears gliding down from the silent heavens. But always silently!'

     
  10. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    PMSL!!
     
  11. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Star commenter

    I'd 'absolutly' (sic) love to see your face when you find out that Detters has got his agent to wind you up.
     
  12. Absolutely
    Let's see an effort from you! Post an example of your literary efforts. Thought not! It takes courage to climb into the ring.
     
  13. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    I don't pretend to be an author, but I can write factual instructions or start a game of:

    It was a dark and stormy night when.................................
     
  14. This is what the person who said his novel was stunning had taken before he read it.
     
  15. And you have the cheek to try and mock!
     
  16. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    Ahhhhh, poor little boy...........................
     
  17. The mockery - actually, scathing derision is more the phrase - is not a question of cheek. It's more of a duty, really, aimed at gradually eroding away your ironclad self-esteem and tedious self-regard [and thank you, modelmaker, for that jewelled phrase] until you realise just what a laughing stock you are on this forum.
    It's a poor substitute for the tattoo of kicks up the jacksie that you really merit, but it will have to do.
     
  18. What are you piping up about Mainwaring? I've got only one thing to say to you:
    12th April 2009. Ralph Palladin.
     
  19. Hemingway always said that he completely ignored criticsm from anyone who never had anything published themselves. I follow that maxim.
     
  20. Why would you apply the maxim of a person with talent to yourself?
     

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