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Novelist's corner

Discussion in 'Book club' started by In_You_Go_Jones, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. I'm sure there are so many out there who like myself have a novel in the works. Why not have a thread where we can share opinions on each other's work? Let me start the ball rolling with an excerpt from my novel, THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE HEARD JENNY LIND SING... I would appreciate opinion. No sycophancy please!
    'It's slow Saturday in mid-December. **** looks out through the darkening conservatory and snow clouds blanket Hillingdon. Snow falling like petals from the whitethorns of spring; snow drifting in oblique sheets over the Grand Union Canal at Uxbridge where sometimes on early summer morning jogs **** used to see the former boxer and now painter, the late Kevin Finnegan, at work at his easel. Snow. Everywhere. Snowing in finely granulated powder, in damp spongy flakes, in thin, feathery plumes, snowing from a leaden sky steadily, snowing fiercely, shaken out of grey-black clouds in white flocculent dustings, or dropping in long low lines, like white spears gliding down from the silent heavens. But always silently!'
     
  2. <a>[​IMG][/URL]
    The late Kevin Finnegan, former British and European middleweight boxing champion, at the Grand Union Canal at Hillingdon.
     
  3. What's that he's painting? The battle of Denham Deep Lock?
     
  4. Don't know. My guess is that he posed there with one of his seascapes for the Uxbridge Gazette. He was a fine man and an excellent painter. But what about my novel?
     
  5. Take out all the adjectives and see how it looks.
     
  6. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Contradictions galore, how can snow be finely granulated powder and at the same time be in damp spongy flakes as well as thin feathery plumes?

    Confusing and I had to look up flocculent!!
     
  7. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Lead commenter

    Don't waste your time, he's crud, he knows he's crud, but he's just hoping to pull Selwyn's chain and get a response.
     
  8. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    What did Doctor Johnson say? Something about how, when you find something 'particularly fine' in your writing, you should strike it out.
    <strike>Adjectives and adverbs are like salt - they should be used sparingly. </strike>
    I have an aversion to novels written in the present tense.
     
  9. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Sounds really kinky BP!!
     
  10. No contadictions. That's how it snowed over Hillingdon that Saturday. It was quite spectacular. But then, I have a novelist's eye and ear.
     
  11. I'm sure it's sheer prejudice on my part but somehow your poetic drift runs into (unintentional?) bathos with the mention of Uxbridge. Quite unfair, of course, as Flaubert manages to combine the poetic and the provincial.
    That apart, it's flocculent amazing!

     
  12. Mainwaring

    Mainwaring Occasional commenter

    A dead novelist, quite clearly.
     
  13. A tad harsh. Regarding Inyigo's capacities as a novelist, I am strangely reminded of Dr Johnson's adage on women preachers:
    'A woman's preaching is like a dog walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all'.
     
  14. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Spot on. Probably hasn't had a decent sh*g lately either.
     
  15. Yes.
    Its a really bad parody of James Joyce's The Dead, which he was wittering on about a couple of weeks ago.
     
  16. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Well I've learnt a new word today, flocculent, now how to use it? How can I just casually use it in conversation?

    'Good morning Mrs Brown, you're looking very flocculent today'
    or
    'What flocculent hell are you doing Wayne?'

    Which is best?
     
  17. inky

    inky Lead commenter

     
  18. Burndenpark

    Burndenpark Lead commenter

    I suspect that you'll find it's a sailor's (Nelson's) eye and artist's (Van Gogh's) ear.

     
  19. They were only missing one eye and one ear respectively.
    Helen Keller is a better bet.
     
  20. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Poor old doc. If he could see this thread, in which he's already been mentioned twice, he'd stub his toe in indignation.
     

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