I'm not sure what to do, so I thought I would just see if anyone has any wise words they can share. A brief synopsis of my problem: my partner suffered a terrible bereavement around 10 years ago (before we met). Since then he has done a long-term, part-time admin job and studied IT at uni, but hasn't really worked apart from that. He's not working now. We've been together about 4 years, live together. No marriage or children on the cards, although I'd like that, basically because he says he's "not ready" and wants to sort himself out first. The thing is, I don't think he is sorting himself out. I honestly don't know the last time he even applied for a job, although he might have done without telling me. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't leech off me - he owns property and has money from rent, as well as doing a little web work for a couple of people. So he pays half of all the bills. And most of the time we're happy and things are great. However, at times like now, he goes all quiet and depressed, which affects me in a similar way. I've been trying to get marking done but all I can think about is how he's unhappy and that makes me unhappy. I'm so happy about life generally, as I'm in a much better place than I was several years ago. I love my life and I love him. What I don't love, though, is wanting to relax at the weekend, but him wanting to go out all the time because he's been at home on his own all week. I don't love coming home to washing up not done, meals to cook, toilet roll to be bought, despite the fact that he's been home all day and had time to do these things. I don't love the way I feel he's dragging me down, instead of me pulling him up. I realise advice would probably be to leave him, but there are positives. I've shown only the negatives here. Any suggestions for how I can get him to stop being lazy about things? I'm becoming more miserable because he's depressed a lot, then I feel guilty because I should be more supportive of him and help him through this difficult time. I've had depression, I know what it's like. Sorry to ramble on. I'm just very upset. The feeling in this place is awful at the moment, because he's being moody and giving one-word answers, hiding in the other room. It's horrible and I'm sad.