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Not so tiny temper!!!!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by blueone, May 7, 2012.

  1. blueone

    blueone New commenter

    My LO is 19 months old and last night had the most horrific, what i can only call, temper tantrum! We were putting him to bed as usual only he didnt want to go...then all hell broke loose! He started screaming, pushing himself backwards, banging his arms, legs, head on anything close to him and wouldnt let us touch him. My OH and I were actually quite scared, we have never seen him act like this before and we didnt know if he was having some sort of fit or if he was screaming in pain! He cried and cried for about 45 mins, and screamed everytime we tried to touch him. In the end we brought him down stairs, left him on the rug and ignored him until he calmed himself down. By this time he was so shattered he literally fell straight asleep! He is very stubborn anyway and has a strong personality, but this was very extreme!
    Is this normal? Does anyone else kids who act like this? If so, how do you deal with it? I work in a school with children who have (amongst other things) behaviour problems and some of the contributing factors to their behaviour is lack of boundaries/extreme behaviour at home with little or no consequence. I saw some of the behaviours of the children i teach in him last night and it scared the hell out of me! Your stories would be most welcome and hopefully resassuring!
     
  2. blueone

    blueone New commenter

    My LO is 19 months old and last night had the most horrific, what i can only call, temper tantrum! We were putting him to bed as usual only he didnt want to go...then all hell broke loose! He started screaming, pushing himself backwards, banging his arms, legs, head on anything close to him and wouldnt let us touch him. My OH and I were actually quite scared, we have never seen him act like this before and we didnt know if he was having some sort of fit or if he was screaming in pain! He cried and cried for about 45 mins, and screamed everytime we tried to touch him. In the end we brought him down stairs, left him on the rug and ignored him until he calmed himself down. By this time he was so shattered he literally fell straight asleep! He is very stubborn anyway and has a strong personality, but this was very extreme!
    Is this normal? Does anyone else kids who act like this? If so, how do you deal with it? I work in a school with children who have (amongst other things) behaviour problems and some of the contributing factors to their behaviour is lack of boundaries/extreme behaviour at home with little or no consequence. I saw some of the behaviours of the children i teach in him last night and it scared the hell out of me! Your stories would be most welcome and hopefully resassuring!
     
  3. Sorry no direct advice. seeing behaviours from children at your school in your lo must have been really scary indeed. Don't forget though your lo is only 19 months and learning their way in the world. The children you teach are older and therefore it's more of a problem that they show this behaviour. I'm sure you did the right thing leaving them to calm down. Good luck and hopefully someone will post with something more useful to say!
     
  4. My daughter went through a tantrumming(sp?) phase - her personality literally transformed for about a month. She's back to normal now, but boy can it be disturbing.

    NB: she's two
     
  5. My LO (18m) did exactly the same thing (when I told him not to throw things) My LO can be as sweet as anything, but is very wilful and knows his own mind (unfortunately his mind works differently to mine...) It was like he was possessed and quite scary. My friend's LO (boy, same age) does exactly the same and he is sweeter in nature than my LO - I think (and hope) it's a pretty normal stage of development - it's a way of exerting control on the world, but they haven't yet developed the emotional regulation and reasoning that we have x x x
     
  6. Scary isn't it?


    Please don't worry, most toddlers do it and I had a friend at school who was still doing it at 9 years old. She is a lovely, well-adjusted, happy speech therapist and mother these days


    There are so many factors that will influence how he turns out and he has a lovely mummy who will give him love, praise, time, consistency and boundaries, - so he will be fine!


    My daughter very rarely had tantrums but when she did they were epic. I remember her lying on the pavement outside an indian restaurant in Oxford screaming and kicking her legs. My childless friend was agog!
     
  7. All that has said here is true - but it is scary. I think you have worked out that ignoring him, whilst ensuring he can't come to any harm, is the best option. What would also be useful is for you to reflect on what actually caused it. Did you do anything differently? If it just that he doesn't like bedtime can you try a different bedtime routine to break the cycle of anxiety? etc. Once you have worked out the trigger you may be able to prevent such a distressing incident in the future. Good luck.
     
  8. My LO started this at about 15 months - not before going to bed usually somewhere like shopping when he didn't want to go in the trolley or anywhere where he didn't get his own way, holding hands wearing reins, going in the pushchair - tried to ignore where possible but the situation when he did it at the end of a travelator didn't seem safe to ignore - so we moved him to the side where he carried on with his tantrum. Good luck. He is 18 months now and does it less but still happens every now and then.
     
  9. blueone

    blueone New commenter

    Thanks for you (reassuring??) replies! At least I know it was a tantrum and hes at the right age to start having them! In fact he had a similar one tonight, again around bed time so obviously tiredness is a factor. I put him in his cot and let him cry it out for a bit, then went back in when he was a little calmer and he put his arms out to ma and had his bottle then bed. I think im just going to have to deal with them when they happen. Kids eh!!
     
  10. blueone

    blueone New commenter

    Thanks everyone. Al least in know hes not the only one. He had another tonight before bed so tiredness is a factor. I put him in his cot and ignored him for a bit (went into my room, sat on the stairs etc) to let him cry it out. He eventually calmed down and went to sleep. Hopefully i will be more prepared next time! Kids Eh!
     

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