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Not needed any more

Discussion in 'Personal' started by giraffe, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    I can't wait for that. I get incredibly broody sometimes and am a bit too old to go in for another one of me own.

  2. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    I'm tempted to say be careful what you wish for, but I know that parents adore their grandchildren.
    I was tempted, however, because my parents - owing to my having a an older brother and one much younger than me (and who was almost 35 when his first child was born) - have been grandparents of small children for over 30 years now. This has meant them childminding throughout this time for one child or another and now they have great grandchildren as well as two grandchildren under 11 and are being asked to mind them.
    They're afraid to say 'no' as they fear the taking of offence and them not seeing the little ones again; however, it's wearing them to a frazzle now.
    I know this is a bit of a highjack of giraffe's thread, but I find myself getting increasingly annoyed with these members of my family who don't see it. I, of course, have no children at all. My older brother and his ex wife even get my parents to mind their dogs for them when they go away!

  3. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    I know what you mean.
    There is a lovely lady near us who seems to be permanently looking after one or other of her grandchildren - the parents must hardly know they've got kids! While she loves her grandchildren to bits, they are a lively couple of lads and the neighbourhood definitely seems more peaceful once they've gone home to Mum and Dad.
    I could never bear to be far from my own ones and I think the only time I ever left them with my Mum was when I went to the maternity ward to have their sister. Mum was always asking if I wanted her to have them for the weekend, but they just went everywhere with us when they were little anyway.
    Now they are older, they drive over to her and stay for a few days, taking her on outings and picnics.

    I don't feel old enough to have grown up kids. I'm not really used to being grown up myself...
  4. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    Want to bet? They all come back wanting mum to cook their dinner and look after them, even when they are grown-up professionals!
  5. kittylion

    kittylion Senior commenter

    Mine are 24 and 27 and still living at home and one is still studying full time.
  6. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Well off she went this morning, smiling and looking gorgeous.
    I packed her a healthy lunch; popped some paracetamol into her handbag; offered two of my best new tops in case she didn't have just the right one of her own; made sure she'd had a drink of squash and a sandwich in the car on the way there; drove her to the office and waited outside in the car with her until exactly the right minute to go in. She has told me where to wait to pick her up this evening.

    Next week she says she's going to do it all herself.
  7. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    You must know what some of us will be thinking after your last post. I hope you'll let her be independent and you need to be independent too.
    I left home at 18 as did my two boys. It was a wrench at the time but there is life after children.
    Hope she has a good day.
  8. Yes...thought that too Lindenlea...although I did have to drive son (last of my children to get a job) to his first post, mainly because it was in the middle of nowhere...and had a useless bus service. After a week he'd observed and spotted when buses arrived at the stop in the country lane near his business park. From then on he was able to catch a bus (which took him to a terminal where he could catch another bus!) after work and travel home independently. It's important that they sort themselves out...and they do..eventually! They cannot expect parents to be an always-available taxi-service.
    However...as he walked up the long drive to his office on that first morning...all suited up and with his man-bag, looking very professional....my heart ached. That was rites of passage time...I felt nervous for him..but he was all grown-up, and yes...I felt slightly redundant. Shed a tear, blew my nose and drove home...to an empty house.
    I am pleased to say Giraffe that the pain vanishes fairly quickly. Sadly, son's post was a temporary contract and he is job-seeking again....and I so want the house to myself during the day!
    As for them moving out...I just cannot see that happening...for financial reasons. I never thought the day would come when I longed for them to have places of their own, but as the years go by I am beginning to feel slightly trapped here..providing a base for adult children. It's a good job we all get on well!
  9. Mrs_Frog

    Mrs_Frog New commenter

    Oh, and you will always be the bank of mum/dad too, I'm afraid.....
    (I earned more than my dad before he retired, and I still had to borrow from him from time to time....)
    B x

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