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Not much left to live for

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by tulving, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    Evening everybody.

    I don't know how to say this but I do not want to carry on any more. My partner and I of 8 years broke up and I was managing to be strong but I started a new job last January and recently my HoD has made my life living hell. I don't have much family and my friends have drifted apart after the breakup.

    I work so hard but it is never good enough for him everything I do is wrong I went from an outstanding teacher to a terrible one in their opinion. My boss makes sure nobody else in the department talks to me so I am isolated in all aspects of my life. It is an Academy and I know my boss is trying to force me out and if I have no job I have no roof over my head. I am trying to apply for other jobs . My union are offering me no support and I just want to close my eyes.

    I guess jobs like ours are tough but there is nobody here to pick up the pieces or offer a friendly shoulder. Sorry if this is depressing I have been reading these forums and everyone on here seems kind.
  2. MillyBailey

    MillyBailey New commenter

    Please go to see your GP tomorrow, don't go into work, your life is worth living you just need some support.

    If you are depressed they can do something to help you.

    Sorry you feel so sad.
  3. libby77

    libby77 Occasional commenter

    You are absolutely 100% not alone and it is not you!

    Please, please, please call teachers support network right now who speak to people like you all day long 08000 562 561
  4. Scintillant

    Scintillant Star commenter

    Doctors first thing tomorrow morning.

    Eat well


    Things will get better
  5. libby77

    libby77 Occasional commenter

    I am there too! Today I saw some viscous things written about me by my head that I just know aren't true :-( very upset about it.
    xandrahuk and thekillers like this.
  6. burntoutteacher

    burntoutteacher Occasional commenter

    Please, please, please ring the teacher support network on 08000 562 562.

    Teaching is an awful, poisonous 'profession' that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    Please reach out to someone who will listen, a friend, family member, neighbour. Call in sick tomorrow and go to your doctor ASAP. He/she will sign you off and can offer you better advice than me.

    Good luck xxx
  7. MineField

    MineField New commenter

    I don't know what to say, but I couldn't read and run. Ring the Samaritans NOW!! There is also the teacher support line. They will get you through the night. Tomorrow morning, book an appointment with your GP - do not go into work. Tell your GP everything you've said here, and keep ringing the Samaritans if you need to. Believe me, you have tons and tons of things to live for - you will get through this, and down the line, you'll meet a wonderful new partner. Your boss sounds awful, but you can sort that out by looking for a new job, when you're feeling ready. There are lots of workplaces with supportive, friendly staff. Your immediate concern though is to get well - these kinds of thoughts mean you are not well at the moment. When you're feeling strong enough, look at hobbies, or a local church, (if you're religious), anything to get you out of the house and meeting people.

    Do you have any family/friends at all that you could stay with tonight? When I was being bullied at work, I remember thinking that if it hadn't have been for my family, I would have dropped into a serious depression. I also remember the first time I was dumped, I did drop into a depression and I did have the support of my family round me. You have had both of these things happen at the same time, with little support. It must be so, so hard - but you can and will get through it, and you'll wonder why on Earth you ever thought to end it all.
  8. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    Thank you everyone there is nobody to come round. I feel so scared my eyes hurt so much but it wont stop. Its like I am trapped and I cant get out
  9. libby77

    libby77 Occasional commenter

    Have you called teacher support network? Please do it now! 08000 562 561
  10. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    As others have said ring the teacher helpline or the Samaritans.

    Get in touch with your Doctor but make sure that you talk to someone.
  11. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    But if I go to the doctor he will sign me off then I will get sacked because I work for an Academy. I called that line thanks everyone but I didnt know what to say its harder when you have to say it out loud
  12. libby77

    libby77 Occasional commenter

    Say it as it is. They don't judge and they are hearing similar stories more and more. If you are having problems in your workplace you need to look at moving. I stuck it out and fought but finally concluded I was never going to be happy there! There are great, supportive schools out there. I'm looking for mine now :) For the first time in my teaching career (10 years), I don't have a job, but I know it will work out. It will for you too!
    josepea and Scintillant like this.
  13. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    He left me in debt and I am living month to month I can't afford to have no job
  14. nical73

    nical73 Occasional commenter

    You MUST go to the doctor. NO job is worth this. I am so sad to read about your situation. Your health and well being MUST come first. Please take everyone's advice. Call someone, go to GP - just keep talking on here if it helps. You ARE worth much more than this.
    xandrahuk and cazzmusic1 like this.
  15. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    I was in a place (caused by a breakdown relating to teaching) at the start of 2013 when I watched the New Years fireworks on TV honestly thinking I would not see the year out. Although it didn't feel possible at the time, I came out the other side. I echo what other posters have said, if you feel like this, you cannot go in tomorrow and you should see your GP ASAP. Also I recommend you talk to someone in your family about how you are feeling.
    You will quite possibly get signed off and there (even in an Academy) should be a decent cushion of sick pay while you recover. If worst comes to worst lenders usually allow you to get a month or two in arrears before more serious action is taken, even then and it shouldn't come to this there are many financial options, IVAs etc which probably millions of people have gone through.
    Concentrate on getting better first. You are an intelligent person with many skills and if you decide you can no longer take the Academy or teaching in general, there are many other less stressful job options open!
  16. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    Everyone here is so kind and I can see that not everyone is cruel. I will make an appointment tomorrow hopefully no more attacks on me. I don't understand why people at school can be so uncaring I could never be this mean to anyone and they can see I am struggling but instead choose to tell me how rubbish I am
  17. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    You need to get signed off, look after yourself, and get well.

    Call the teacher support network, see your GP.

    There are lots of schools out there still which do value their staff. Get well and you'll find one.
  18. nical73

    nical73 Occasional commenter

    Tulving - my husband has suffered a similar situation in his school going from an outstanding teacher of 15 years to an inadequate, requires improvement, threat of capability etc etc within 2 years of being in a new school. It is NOT you. There are hundreds of bullies that now exist in our profession and no matter how good you are, if your face doesn't fit it is increasingly easy to get rid. On the other hand, I also work in a school which is incredibly supportive. I have been there for 20 years. They do exist -it is just a matter of finding them. Remember you are a good teacher and they are the bullies. Do NOT go in tomorrow. You MUST look after your health.
    rach7, MathMan1, rolysol and 3 others like this.
  19. lizziescat

    lizziescat Star commenter

    Call them (and/or the Samaritans) just read out your first, opening post to them if talking is difficult. Tomorrow GP and take your op with you to help you explain.
  20. tulving

    tulving New commenter

    The comments on here have stopped me hurting myself thanks to all. I am very thirsty so will drink some water and go lay down hopefully in peace.

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