((Becky)) I don't know what to say Lovely! I'm so sorry to hear you're in such a bad place. If you're doing a good job in your current role, it's not necessarily a given that they'll replace you with someone cheaper; there's a lot to be said for sticking with what (who) you know and also someone with experience. As far as life more generally is concerned, it might be worth approaching your GP to ask for some kind of support in the form of councelling. I've also heard of groups for childless couples who can network socially and also support each other in something they have in common. I don't know really, I just wanted to offer support in the form of words, though I realise they're not much use to you.