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nightmares before christmas

Discussion in 'Personal' started by mmm...Milk, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. mmm...Milk

    mmm...Milk New commenter

    I am being plauged with Nightmares about christmas! The main one is christmas day, where my mother expects the 4 of us to do a 120 mile round trip for christmas dinner. I daren't tell her that we don't want to do that - the kids were excited about seeing their cousins, until the realised how far they were going to have to go. Its not like we have nice comfy car to go in (an 8yr old 1l Yaris) my husband is admant we are not going, and I agree, but I dread telling my mother. She isn't going to be happy and come up with all these solutions like staying at their house, which again, my husband won't do. (hes a right grumpy one at christmas, he has no family other than a brother)
    Last night I dreamed that we missed most of our kids nativity - they simply missed a bit out and we didn't get to photgraph them at the end.
    I really wish it were next year! Anyone else have this problem? I highly doubt it!
     
  2. mmm...Milk

    mmm...Milk New commenter

    I am being plauged with Nightmares about christmas! The main one is christmas day, where my mother expects the 4 of us to do a 120 mile round trip for christmas dinner. I daren't tell her that we don't want to do that - the kids were excited about seeing their cousins, until the realised how far they were going to have to go. Its not like we have nice comfy car to go in (an 8yr old 1l Yaris) my husband is admant we are not going, and I agree, but I dread telling my mother. She isn't going to be happy and come up with all these solutions like staying at their house, which again, my husband won't do. (hes a right grumpy one at christmas, he has no family other than a brother)
    Last night I dreamed that we missed most of our kids nativity - they simply missed a bit out and we didn't get to photgraph them at the end.
    I really wish it were next year! Anyone else have this problem? I highly doubt it!
     
  3. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Most of the country probably suffers from having to do what others want them to do at Christmas. Nothing unique I would guess about your circumstances. You have a choice accept Mum's solution and face the difficulty in perpetuity or make a decision as a family to do your own thing. Then of course face potential family fall out. Which is the most attractive option to you?

    Decide then go for it. Good luck x
     
  4. v12

    v12

    Invite her to your house for Christmas Dinner. If she declines for any reason use the same reason when she asks you.
     
  5. This is why I vowed many years ago to put no pressure on my children about where they spend Christmas. I never wanted them to think 'God, we have to spend the day with the old bat'.
    They come if they can and don't if they can't. No problem. It's rare that we are all together but that's just the way it is. I certainly don't fret.

     
  6. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Absolutely Cosmos, wisdom personified x
     
  7. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    .......... Though I do like v12's slightly mischievous solution x
     
  8. snugglepot

    snugglepot Occasional commenter

    120miles round trip.

    I once travelled 12,000 miles to see my mum at Christmas.I'm glad I did two years after I lost her.Be thankful you have a mother.
     
  9. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Why does it being Christmas day make a difference to why you value or are thankful for having a Mum?
     
  10. 120 miles round trip is only 60 in each direction. What are the roads like - if they're OK it should only take an hour or so. How long ago did your mum invite you/have you known you are expected. If it's last week then maybe you can get out of it - last minute, already have other arrangements and all that but if you've known a while I think you're leaving it a bit late to turn her down.
     
  11. v12

    v12

    The only trouble being that it has somewhat backfired this year.
    Both my parents <u>and</u> my mother-in-law are staying with us over Christmas after we pulled a similar stunt.
    In over 18 years, they have only met three times - so it should an interesting few days.
    My parents are ancient and rather stuck in their ways - Mrs v12's mother is a chain-smoker who can clear a sideboard of drink in an evening!
    Merry Christmas everybody!
     
  12. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    I understand the resentment about having to do what other people expect, but don't understand the distance problem. I'm on supply and frequently do 100 mile round trip for a days pay, 110 on Friday. Why is an hours drive a problem to see you mother at Christmas?
    Like someone else said, last year I paid nearly a grand for a ten day break, and had a 12 hour flight to see them for Christmas. Not because I am a highly dedicated daughter, but because I was desperate to see them for Christmas, and could not bear the thought of not spending the day with them. I know that's extreme, and I am not saying it for a 'look at me and how dedicated I am' affair, but rather to illustrate my point. Why is an hours drive a problem - what's your relationship like with your mum? Sounds like you are not too enthusiastic to spend Christmas day with her, and the drive is an excuse - it must be surely as loads of people are preparing to travel hundreds of miles up and down the UK to be with their families?
    Whatever the cause of this angst, I hope you resolve it. This is not hte time of year for you to be fretting.

     

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