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Discussion in 'Personal' started by lanokia, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Why are they so awful?


    A 28-YEAR-OLD woman has asked how many more years she has to spend pretending to like nightclubs.

    Francesca Johnson of Brighton has been feigning pleasure at being in hot, deafening basements filled with aggressive drunks for a decade, and fears there may be another decade to go.

    She said: “The night always begins somewhere pleasant – cocktails, dressed up, big mirrors and fancy chairs – but I don’t understand why it has to end with a literal descent to a red-lit hell.

    “It’s like a parable about the dangers of alcohol where if you don’t stop drinking early, you’ll end up queuing for 40 minutes for a **** while men in polo shirts grind up against you to the sound of David Guetta.

    “Drugs make it bearable, but I can tell nobody’s enjoying this any more than I am. Why can’t we just stop?”

    Johnson added: “Oh, I get it. This is why people have babies.”

    Awful awful places ... quiet pub, a pint and a good chat... much preferred.
  2. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    But it looks like such FUN!
    midnight_angel likes this.
  3. VanEyssen

    VanEyssen Established commenter

    She's knocking on a bit but was probably old before her time.
  4. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    I agree entirely, we had a nightclubs thread a little while ago along the same lines.
  5. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    The glamour!
  6. nearmiss

    nearmiss Lead commenter

    rachelpaula008 likes this.
  7. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Well, first of all- Brighton nightclubs- really!

    Of course she can make it stop. Just stop going! No one's making you.
    Sillow and rachelpaula008 like this.
  8. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    I think "adult" is the word you're looking for, there's nothing as sad as someone trying to hang onto their youth by liking the things that teenagers are told they are supposed to like and be cool.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    What have I been missing all these years???? Mad I am!!!
  10. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    I don't mind a club where the music is the focal point. Where the crowd go there because of a shared love of the same type of music which will be what the DJs will be playing and who will specifically play what the like-minded crowd want to hear. I like clubs like that and used to play in them back when I used to be a club DJ and used to go to them a lot. Having a family has put paid to that now but I still do such a thing occasionally when getting together with my old mates.

    However the standard 'meat-market' type of club is awful and I've always hated them. Thick-necked, red-faced drunken thugs and orange-skinned drunken female thugs, all wearing too little for the weather outside, all aggressively strutting and preening in an attempt to copulate with a stranger, with the option of a kebab and a fight afterwards as a second best plan.

    I'd rather a pub as well. Not fussed on whether it's quiet or not but ideally no music. Good ale, good beer snacks, ample seating. A fire. And a dog. A good pub usually has a smelly old dog. A proper pub too - not a melamine chain pub, please.
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

  12. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

  13. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    I've never pretended to like nightclubs and have only ever been in them a handful of times. I was dragged out to one in the West End on my 30th birthday because I was feeling fed up but it did nothing to improve my mood. I don't think I've been in one since.
    rachelpaula008 likes this.
  14. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Your muzzle is getting greyer.
    lanokia likes this.
  15. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    Why the long face?
    rachelpaula008 and lanokia like this.
  16. Streetcleaner

    Streetcleaner New commenter

    Every time I've been dragged to a nightclub I've ended up leaving after 15 minutes. The thought of me at a nightclub makes me cringe. It'd be like seeing Rick Moranis or Woody Allen in a nightclub... but worse. I'm far too uncool for it.

    For the younger generation, life is just about fun and living for the moment (nothing wrong with that in moderation), so nightclubs are going to be enjoyable for most of them. I don't have much of a social life so I'm going to sound bitter, but I don't think I am because I know I'd get bored right away if I were to go to one of these places. The feeling of being drunk has never done much for me and I don't think music ever sounds good when it's that loud.
    lanokia likes this.
  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    If they were more like this............ upload_2015-11-19_14-39-13.png
  18. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    I went to a nightclub when I was, I think, 17. I was bored. Never bothered with them since. MUCH prefer pubs, theatre, cinema. The 28-year-old doesn't have to pretend anything - she simply has to stop going.
    InkyP likes this.
  19. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

  20. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Oh dear... yes sorry the piece was a satire piece... I guess that might not have been clear if you didn't click the link.

    But still, there is truth in there...

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