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Discussion in 'Cookery' started by BelleDuJour, Jul 20, 2019.

  1. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Got 'Saturday Kitchen' on while ploughing through my cooking marathon (cake 1 of 10 in oven, chicken soup simmering). Nigella just been on making a lemon pavlova.
    Now.........I knpw its telly but F F S.
    Sexy music in background, soft lighting you couldn't possibly cook in, kitchen looking like a set from 'Ideal Home'.....pink kitchenaid glistening and not splattered with meringue as mine would be, bowl of lemons and eggs artistically placed in foreground, Nigella giving sultry looks and fondling her meringue like it were George Clooney's buttocks! Coaxing her cream to the edge............
    Sorry but it's just not cooking.
    I'm splatterd in cake batter (some in my hair), plaster on hand which I cut while prepping the garlic, sultry looks replaced by resembling a permanently exhaused pigeon, kitchen looking like a bomb let off, nothing artisitcally placed anywhere, kitchenaid covered in flour, not coaxing anything other then Mr Belle to get out of the kitchen as he's iin my way!
    I know it is TV but it bloody isn't COOKING!!!!
    Soz......very tired and busy and would love to look like Nigella in sparkly kitchen with sexy music..............and no washing up!
  2. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Can't stand her, Belle, plus her recipes are sometimes failures. I'll never forget her fellating an omelette!! The blessed Saint Delia is foolproof, as well as Gordon Ramsey, Michel Roux and Raymond Blanc,
    Marshall and BelleDuJour like this.
  3. friedgreentomatoes

    friedgreentomatoes Lead commenter

    I love Nigella but your post did make me laugh!
  4. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I'm not so keen on Nigella because of the falseness of it all.
    I mean, she tries to get us to believe after a night on the sauce she comes homes and whips up a caramel croissant bread and butter pudding to nosh down on the sofa before bed. Even her washing up looks sexy!!
    And if she did eat just half the food she prepares she'd be the size of a small county!
  5. freckle06

    freckle06 Lead commenter

    Plus she turned it upside down :confused: to put the lemon curd on so it oozed everywhere when the cream went on. The whole point of shaping a pavlova, surely, is that you create this little nest for the contents to sit in!

    I must prefer to see Floyd trying to cook on a boat, glass of wine in hand!
    BelleDuJour likes this.
  6. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    She makes me smile! I want her to thrive after what life has thrown at her and she seems to. I bought a couple of tall oil and vinegar bottles to have to hand on the work surface like she does They looked lovely for about two days and then started to get gunged up. They are at the back of the cupboard now and will be thrown out soon.
    I like Nigel Slater but want to brush his hair. But I do rely on Delia and Jamie quite a lot. And a lovely book by Rose Rogers and Rose Grey with simple Italian ideas in.
  7. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    I can't stand her either! One of my step-daughters bought me one of her cookery books for Christmas several years ago and I tried to be nice. I haven't even opened it.
  8. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    She is a brilliant writer but her TV programmes are totally daft. I don't really mind the coquettishness, but the demented melodramas involving her having to pretend to feed some actors posing as her friends are very silly.

    But, a brilliant writer. How To Eat is one of my favourite every food/cookery books. And her recipes mostly work very well. Sometimes a bit ott on the cream or sugar or butter, but they work. Very much written as a busy home cook, rather than anything cheffy. If there's a shortcut to be found, she'll find it!
  9. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I like Nigella too, despite her coquettish ways. A few of her recipes are awful (that macaroni cheese with evaporated milk) but most work well enough. And I agree that she writes well.
    nick909 likes this.
  10. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    Completely agree about that macaroni cheese one, and that's the one recipe that lurks in the back of my mind when I'm maintaining that her recipes are mostly good! It really is awful.

    Away from the food, I also like her because she has such a tough time from the press. The gutter tabloids like the Daily Mail are obsessed with her, and every time she dares to gain a bit of weight, they stick the knives in. Saatchi seemed like a bit of an **** as well and I think she dealt with that mess with a good deal of grace.
  11. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    Agreed. She's also had a mixture of very privileged but also very difficult points in her life with difficult relationships and premature deaths.
  12. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    She's not had an easy life in terms of her relationships no.............but all is eased when you are a multimillionaire I'm sure!
    Quite what she saw in Saatchi is beyond me..........didn't the guy only eat boiled eggs and refused to socialise? W T F!!!
    Anyway, I don't like her programmes but I do like her books.
    I've managed 4 out of 10 cakes to be baked today, and a huge pot of Jewish Penicillin (chicken soup).
    I did have a nap this afternoon before sorting out the horses and chickens.
    I need a G&T now................
    nick909 and primarycat like this.
  13. bizent

    bizent Star commenter

    Well I am in shock! How very dare you! Leave my babe alone or I’ll get you with her seductive spiralizer
    BelleDuJour and primarycat like this.
  14. bizent

    bizent Star commenter

    I love her. I love her books. The essays within. Her TV shows are the stuff of legend.

    Unfortunately I cannot get her birthday cake from How To Eat right no matter how hard I try.
    primarycat likes this.

    SEBREGIS Lead commenter

    Yeah, I totally agree and totally disagree.

    Her shows are absurd, her recipes generally unappealing, but that’s not the point. It’s the complete fantasy lifestyle thing. Who wouldn’t love to come home from presenting at an educational conference to find a sumptuously dressed domestic goddess mixing a cocktail and something with chilli and butterscotch in the kitchen?

    Sorry. My children know I really like her books. It’s just not Christmas unless i get to unwrap Nigella.
    primarycat likes this.
  16. friedgreentomatoes

    friedgreentomatoes Lead commenter

    Yes, hers are the cook books I read the most, just for the pleasure of the writing.

    SEBREGIS Lead commenter

    Oh sod it.. because it’s only 158 days to Christmas !!!
  18. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Books are great. I love them!
    But her...ahem....kitchen and cooing within is total nonsense.
    I've got up early to bake yet more cakes (3 orders out this week....wedding, birthday and corporate) and am:
    1. cussing and swearing as run out of cocoa and had to send Mr Belle out on a mission,
    2. sweating like I'm in a bloody sauna
    3. Hair a bird's nest
    4. No make up and would scare children with one glance
    5. Flour everywhere
    6. Domestic yes. Goddess..................I so think not!!!
  19. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I know you love me really @bizent and am totally convinced she is a gay icon! Like the Marilyn Moonroe of the wooden spoon and mixing bowl (both licked seductively..............:oops::oops::oops::oops:)
    catmother likes this.
  20. bizent

    bizent Star commenter

    Teehee! @BelleDuJour

    Hey, if you think she’s bad have a look at The Pioneer Woman or even better, The Barefoot Contessa. Both on Food Network and both hilarious.

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