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Newborn worries!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Keep Smiling!, Jul 28, 2011.

  1. Keep Smiling!

    Keep Smiling! New commenter

    Hi,

    I had a baby almost 3 weeks ago and I just wanted to say it's blummin' hard work! I had in my head that I would be tired but thought baby would eat and then sleep in between feeds but I think I was a bit naive! She doesn't like sleeping much and won't go in her Moses basket. She loves being held but will still fight sleep if someone is holding her. I hate it when she cries (which she does a fair bit, especially when changing her nappy or trying to wash/bath her!) and sometimes I have no idea why she's crying! I don't know what I'm looking for, I suppose someone to tell me these feelings are normal and things will get better. At the moment I feel like the worst mum in the world and that I'm not good enough for her!
     
  2. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    The fact you're stressed shows you care, but just think it's not that long till she's goes to uni (not that we're rich enough to send ours, when I went it was free lol!) Seriously, it's very normal hat you'regoing through. Try to get some sleep. It's amazing how many mums start feeling better whenthey get 8 hours sleep agian.
     
  3. I think pretty much every new mother could have written your post- I thought we would get baby home, she would sleep and wake up every so often... No, No NO! the second her head hit the moses basket she would scream. It is totally normal- they have been inside you for months so they want to be near you where they are protected and safe..... It must be very scary being placed all alone....The first weeks are so hard,
    I did find it got easier by about week 8 as we got some sleep.... Gradually from the first days the sleep stretches get longer,, I remember getting 3 hours in a row- it felt so good!

    It really does get a lot easier- especially when they start smiling- it makes you feel you are doing something right.

    Congratulations though and in abour 8 months time you will have forgotton all about this and be wanting another.

    I also co-slept, she latched onto me as I lay down and we would doze off.
     
  4. Keep Smiling!

    Keep Smiling! New commenter

    Thank you so much for all your replies, they have made me feel so much more normal. I think what makes it hard is that so many people say how amazing and easy it is and that their baby sleeps through the night that I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I love her so much and just want her to be happy! But I'm glad my feelings are normal and that things will get better. I don't want to wish her early weeks away but am looking forward to when we're a bit more settled and in routine!
     
  5. my LO didn't sleep through til after six months. if you look on the winter babies 2010 thread you'll see there are severl 7-8 month olds that aren't sleeping through! i think babies who do aren't the norm.
    i have several friends who used the gina ford routine (google her) and one colleague had her son sleeping through from 6 weeks on that.
    i promise it gets easier x
     
  6. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    My two year old doesn't always sleep through the night! He was never a particularly good sleeper, although by 6 weeks was only waking up once a night. He never really improved on that though!
    With my son i found i didn't want him to get any older, but with my daughter i really can't wait until she's a bit bigger and can sit up, and sleeps a bit better.
     
  7. Keep Smiling!

    Keep Smiling! New commenter

    Thank you again for all your kind words, it's a week on and already it's a bit better (and I'm not crying as much!) Can I ask at what point will she be able to go 4 hours between feeds? She currently wakes up every 3 hours (if she's asleep) but don't know how old she should be going a bit longer? Also, how old are they when they benefit from books to look at etc? I'm not sure if I should be entertaining her more rather than her just feeding and sleeping. She's just 4 weeks old now. As you can see I'm pretty clueless!x
     
  8. kittenjames

    kittenjames New commenter

    Don't worry about what she 'should' be doing. I found things a lot easier when I stopped reading in books/web about what LO should be doing and just followed his lead instead. For example the health visitor was telling me how much to feed him, for how long and when. Consequently he screamed with hunger, as soon as I just fed him on demand he chilled out and I stopped worrying about what he should be doing. As for books, I think its never too early. You can get black and white fabric ones which are really stimulating for newborns. I found my LO would stare at them for up to 10 mins then start turning away which is a sign they've had enough. However just being awake is a massive amount of stimulation for a young baby so don't exhaust yourself trying to entertain her, you'll have to do plenty of that when she's older! My LO is 7 months now so I'm not some old pro but I would say 4weeks is very early days so just enjoy snuggling up together and follow her lead in most things. You'll find your way together eventually!
     
  9. I am 32 and still don't go 4 hours between drinks! My lo is 16 months and has NEVER gone 4 hoursw between feeds during the day. Please follow what your lo wants and needs rather than what other people tell you she should be doing.
    At this age I spent a lot of time with lo in the sling, so she would sleep while I was doing things around the house. She didn't ever sleep in the moses basket and would feed roughly every 2 hours. So if you're getting 3 hours between feeds then that's fine.
    I wouldn't worry about entertaining her much at this age either. She's so tiny that all she needs to do is sleep, feed and poop. As ong as you are talking to her when she's awake, so while you are feeding her, changing her, carrying round, etc, then that's all the entertainment she needs. She thinks you are her world and all she wants is to watch you doing your thing and include her in it by talking to her.
    I don't think you're clueless at all. But I do think that you may be getting confused by all the different advice people give. Everybody means well, but every baby is different and you need to listen to your baby to decide what she wants. I know it's confusing at the moment but I promise that you get better at this, I'm still pretty confused by the whole thing and my eldest is 11.
     

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