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New experience but no idea what to do !!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. Having been separated for a year , I've realised the reason I can't stop thinking about someone I know is because I really like them !!!! He's single and we both go to the same sports group ! With the other people, I can chat away but not to Him ! We smile at each other and have spoken briefly!

    He's not been very well so not been to the club so I emailled him to say hope to see him back soon !!!! We've exchanged a few emails but have absolutely no idea what to now do ! Laugh , in my 40s and feel like a teenager ?!?!

    Help !!!!
     
  2. I wouldn't have a clue either.
    Maybe invite him out for a drink when he is feeling better. Just do it
    But as I said, I wouldn't have a clue. Perhaps someone else will have some personal experience that will help!
    meanwhile just enjoy the experience. It must feel good, all girly and young again!
     
  3. Enjoy!
     
  4. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    Invite him out. A drink or two will loosen tongues and smooth over any nerves. No more though. Getting hammered on a first date is rarely a good idea, other than when both parties make a mutual decision to do so, in which case it still might not be a very good idea, except on those rare occasions when it's the best idea in the world (in these cases you will invariably end up marrying them - I talk from experience).
    If you still find you can't engage in any meaningful conversation, it may be for a very good reason. He may be thicker than a very great many short planks, for example. If it turns out then that attraction is purely physical, then of course it's up to you as to whether that's necessarily a good reason to curtail the relationship straight away, but...ahem...be careful, as always.
     
  5. Thanks for the replies !! Don't think I'm brave enough to ask him to go for a drink !! Suppose easier to talk to others in club as clearly don't fancy them !!! Laugh at myself being like this !! No-one else knows what I'm thinking !!
     
  6. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    FGS....get a grip of yourself.....he probabaly feels the same way and it could be he is shy.
    Find an event.....ask him if he woukd care to go as your needing and escort and could he oblige.believe me you will know if he is right for you......it dont take long to suss it out.
    Men can be shy.they can also be innocent in 'chatting up folk.I used to be when i was a young man i didnt date at all till i was 18! However, unless you want to live i limbo land you have to do something ..........whatever you do please dont appear deserate.A relationship should be based upon resect and interests and hopefully he wil do that...if e wants to bed you then beware,,,unless your willing.try making him wait til at least the 2nd date lol
    Above all enjoy because it is the great adventure of life, to learn to love again and to be wanted
    Good hunting!
     
  7. Does your club have social events - perhaps thats the way to go!!
     
  8. Yes we all went out for a meal in January - happily chatting to everyone but I just clam up when I go to chat to him!!
    As its a sports club I dont exactly look my best as by the end of it....
    Part of me can't be bothered as feel worn out with 3 teenage boys and a full time job!
    [​IMG]
     
  9. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    find a aplaceaway if you can....and arrange for the boys to be looked after if you can.....or better stil at a wekend so your less tired......might be time to talk to them and ask/tell them your hoping to court? and get them ready for a ;new' man who might be around.
    Personally if you going to make love to him then i would suggest a neutral place to do so rather than home..just keep using those eyes and body language...unless he is a total daft man he will get the message.
     
  10. Wo you fast move oldsomeman .... think this poster just embarking on this new stage of life not leaping into bed with sporting chap!!
     
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Sorry im not implying that.i meant tenage children dont often understand when mum courts.......the way has to be paved.
    If things develop and she brings him home then him staying overnight is often not easy as she might worry all the time about a number of issues.......not sure as i have never been in thst situation.
    For her the main problem is to make the move to break the worry if it will develop. woman are allowed to be forward as well as men. to often they stand and fret!
     
  12. To the OP: I would just chat to him - make yourself have a couple of topics up your sleeve which you know you can talk about, the weather at the moment is an innocuous place to begin or what about something like a new film that's out. You just need to get talking and chatting about anything really. Make that your first goal.
    Second goal is once you can chat without too much squirming just invite him out for a coffee in the day time "Hey, you fancy getting a coffee, or even a tea, at some point?" I would do this as it's not a "real date, date" if that makes sense and has no pressure on it.

    Really what's the point in not making a (small) move? You could sit and watch him get snapped up by someone else and then you've missed your opportunity. The beauty of him saying no is you know he's not remotely interested and you can stop thinking about him and put your energies into someone else. However, if he says yes.... think what this could lead to!!!

    Now bite the bullet and go for it! [​IMG]
     
  13. All of this was fine and probably fun 20 years ago but now !?!! Don't think my boys think Mum should be anything other than "Mum " !
     
  14. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Is this an issue for you? What your boys will make of any potential love interest? Is the thought of their potential disapproval/dislike etc., paralysing you?
    You don't say what age your children are. It's hard to know what advice to give when there is so little information to go on, but it's also hard to reveal too much information online.
     
  15. My boys are older teens, one a young adult (19) but all at home. Non of them see their Dad - because he doesn't arrange to see them now. Suppose feel they've been through a lot - should I think of them first for a bit longer !
     
  16. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I would consider them old enough to not have to know what you are up to all the time and old enough to look after themselves in the house for short periods of time (over night and a day for example). Follow your own life (romantically) for a bit and see what develops and only once things are at a serious stage, would I even think of introducing a love interest to your lads. My sister in law was divorced at 21 with 2 children, for the next 20 years she did have a love life, nothing serious developed, so the kids know nothing about it.
     
  17. Being friendly with a new chap and perhaps a coffee and get to know you is a gentle way in for you and your boys.
     
  18. Off to Sports club on Wed and He will be there..... so we'll see what / if anything happens!!
     
  19. And He wasn't there !!
     


  20. Shame! Do you do the club another day of week or is Wednesday the only day to say hi!
     

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