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Neighbours' children

Discussion in 'Personal' started by katherinelily, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. I hope I don't come across as wanting to spoil people's fun. I'm quite willing to hear the other side.
    Our house is a semi detached Victorian one with high walls surrounding the garden. The other side to us has four children and they have a trampoline. This thing has turned out to be the bane of our lives because the children spend a lot of time on it and as so they can see into our garden and house.
    They also are extremely noisy when playing outside and it's starting to get very difficult not to feel cross as there are lots of screams and shrieks from early morning until it goes dark.
    I don't know whether to politely ask the neighbours if they could consider asking the children to make less noise or if I'd just come across as a grumpy old cow (I don't think I am.) It's hard to explain in words how noisy the noise actually is!
  2. We have had new neighbours for about 6 months. He has split with his wife and lives next door to us with 2 male friends. He has 2 of his 3 kids, by different people, to stay at weekends and they are constantly knocking on our door to ask for their ball back. Drives me crazy! Not sure what the solution is!
  3. I suspect whatever you say they will take 'offence'. You could try getting friendly with them first and then saying something,6 months down the line.
  4. Thanks. I suppose the problem then will be that it's winter.
    I can't believe it doesn't disturb the parents, to be honest. It feels like being in the middle of a child's summer camp - constantly!
  5. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    Nip over the fence under cover of darkness with a pair of scissors ...
  6. zee-bra

    zee-bra New commenter

    I am sorry but I would think this. It is great that children are out in the fresh air enjoying themselves rather than couped up indoors playing computer games for hours on end. I would not appreciate a neighbour of mine to complain about something like this.
  7. wrldtrvlr123

    wrldtrvlr123 Occasional commenter

    Unfortunately it really is a no win situation for you. The kind of parents that would respond positively (or at least reasonably) to your comments about the noise are the same kind of parents that would have asked the children to keep it down to a dull roar in the first place. It often comes down to luck as to whether you will have people as neighbors that impose themselves on your lives. Children will undoubtedly make noise but there are reasonable levels that one could expect to have to deal with on a daily basis. I would have a garden sound system that played some relatively benign music playing a fairly loud level, just to act as a white noise filter for you. Possibly you could learn to tune out whatever comes through the music.
    Our son has Autism and one of his quirks is talking to himself. Sometimes he does this quite loudly and we are always keen that he not disturb other people. Even when we lived in the country with only one neighbor quite a distance away we asked him to not be quite so loud. The neighbor had 3 younger children who could not seem to speak without screeching at the top of their lungs and they really seemed a scruffy, annoying lot. Then they started asking our son over to play with them on their trampoline and were actually surprisingly kind to him (and we found them much less annoying somehow).[​IMG]
  8. I think you need to accept that children, no matter how many, have a right to play (and be noisy!) in there own backgarden. It is far better than them hanging around on the street of causing mayhem elsewhere.
    However, you do have a right to some quiet time. In Germany, it is regulated (what a surprise). Between 1 and 3 pm is "Ruhezeit" and in the evenings.
    However, this is hardly enforcable, especially in the Summer or holidays.
    As RF said, it is part and parcel of living in a residential area. If you lived next door to a nursery or school, you would have the same (if not more) level of noise.
    The best thing to do, IMO, is try to be friends with your neighbours as then the chances of them taking your feelings into account is greater.
    Perhaps bite the bullet and organise an afternoon of quieter play yourself (treasure hunt in the garden, sleeping policemen (LOL - this works even with teenies, believe me), insect hunt, guess the flowers, veg, etc) WITH the mother.
    You may find that the children replay these activities - all the children in my UK neighbourhood do. They are loud by nature but as we are all with kids, we tend to forget that pensioners need some peace and quiet (there are no young people without kids, I am not suggesting you are a pensioner).
    Ours now mostly ride their bikes, or meet up in the gardens to play old fashioned games.
    Having said that - not one househould has a trampoline in the garden!
  9. I can bear the noise if it is made by children playing - as others have said, at least they are outdoors having fun; but I cannot bear music being played at top volume so that people can hear it in their gardens. It is so inconsiderate and even if I liked the choice of music, which I don't, it is always far too loud.
    I became utterly incandescant with rage not long ago and yelled at the neighbours to turn the *ucking volume down. It was turned up so that he could hear it over the noise of the lawnmower - MrC was shocked to his core but they did! I went round to aplogise for my language and they were quite apologetic, said they hadn't realised how loud it was. We haven't fallen out.
  10. Henriettawasp

    Henriettawasp New commenter

    Ooh. I like the sound of that! Is it because that is the time that babies, toddlers - and pensioners [​IMG] - have their naps?
    But not in the evenings and school holidays! I have often thought that next time I move house it might be quite nice to be next to a school.
    Or a cemetary.

  11. Yes [​IMG]
  12. Cervinia

    Cervinia Occasional commenter

    I grew up nearby to a former council estate in a large former indurstrial city, with similar to as you describe but also...
    • litter (including nappies) in gardens.
    • noisy children after dark.
    • domestic violence related police visits.
    • suspicious dealings next door (drugs).
    • other instances of anti-social behaviour.
    • loud music blasting through walls.
    So it could always be worse. My only advice is that you move, because it's very likely it won't stop otherwise.It can be very draining.
    Thankfully I live not too far away now with much quieter/more considerate neighbours.
  13. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    This reminds me of last summer staying with friends in Normandy: V became incensed because the neighbour started mowing his lawn at 2.30 every single day, the very moment that the regulated lunch quiet time (12.30-2.30) finished!
  14. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    We have trampoliners and drummers near, but not too near, to us.also a swimming pool next door. Had a few shouty screamy events from the pool which wound me up, but they don't use it now. I thought we had to put up with it really, our kids probably were noisy years ago. More annoying was the sound of the pump churning away right next to our patio. I asked them, full of apologies and embarrassment, if they could limit when it was switched on and they do. I know the woman thought I was barking but it really got on my nerves. We certainly haven't fallen out. Now house over the road is up for sale - I really don't want any noisy children there but short of living in a field what can you do. Actually my mum does virtually live in a field and complains about the combine harvesters, milk tankers and land rovers up and down the lane, and the sheep in the garden!
  15. wordsworth

    wordsworth Senior commenter

    I do sympathise with the OP - it is impossible to imagine the agony of noisy neighbours until one experiences it first hand IMO. My suggestion is as others have said: sit tight and wait for the little darlings to grow up, OR move house (i did the latter, eventually)
  16. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Hi Wordy!
  17. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Unfortunately, not everyone who encourages their children to play outdoors also encourages them to keep noise to a reasonable level.
    It is possible to bounce and run and play without screaming at top volume. When we do trampolining at school, we insist kids don't even talk at the same time, to avoid them biting their tongues off!
    When my kids were little. they were reminded about not disturbing neighbours from time to time when they got excited or argumental. It's part of developing social skills.
    Too many kids communicate only by shouting and then find school too constraining and critical of their feral ways.
    My neighbour allows her kids to play on our shared open-plan lawn sometimes and it can end up with them kicking a ball right outside my living-room window. Not acceptable.
    My kids used to put a swingball game on the front, but only on our side, and well away from the houses. They didn't scream or swear either, or they'd have been sorted straight away!

    Previous neighbours have been of the shouty-parent kind; the tipsy-barbeque-thee-times-a-week kind; the have-the-lads-round-and-sit-in-the-garden-til-early-hours-talking-loudly kind and the haven't-we-got-a-powerful-stereo-and funky-music-to share-with-the-neighbourhood kind. Hell! Used to hate warm sunny weekends and evenings and would pray for a nice quiet rainy afternoon.
    I really sympathise with people who have to put up with lots of noise from neighbours - perhaps we need to be more explicit about telling people how to behave socially? TV ads about noise and respect for others? Citizenship lessons? It's purely good manners.
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Couldn't agree more.
    Which many lack of course. There's noise and there's NOISE. There's a wall of noise, a barrage, an onslaught of anti-social noise that makes peoples lives a misery, a living hell. The people who indulge their children in this kind of noise-making, usually defend their noise-making rights most aggressively and certainly don't want to hear about anybody's elses rights; aggro-merchants and bullies. There's also a certain mentality that indulges in this kind of behaviour: they are so inadequate they simply have to make a lot of noise to prove themselves top-dog.
    Then there's tempered noise, the unavoidable noises that occur when people live their lives. There's no intention behind it to dominate or prove anything. You just need to look at peoples faces and you can usually tell what category they fall into. If you dare complain, you will definitely know for sure!
  19. I agree with that.
    Children playing WILL make noise - and I feel they should be allowed to up to a certain level and not non-stop.
    Mine are brought in if they get too boisterous. A kind of time out. Once they have calmed down they can go back out.
    This is something all the parents in the street do (I am explicitly referrering to the UK, as we don't have gardens to even play in in Germany!) so perhaps we are just a very old-fashioned street!
    A bit of shrieking and whooping when they are playing with the hose pipe or throwing water bombs at each other is fine. Doing it all day is not.
    And they all have to be in by early evening for tea and bath and bed [​IMG]

  20. They won't be able to bear it either if its something they don't like.
    Take something with good speakers out into the garden. Listen to The Archers/Today in Parliament/Gilbert and Sullivan/Michael Buble on a loop.
    Get a powerful lawn sprinkler.
    Start a barbeque habit and keep 'accidentally' spilling water on the charcoal so that the smoke goes everywhere.
    Consider the advantages of getting a big dog.
    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

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