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Neighbours. Anyone want mine?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ssnsmudge, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. I live in a lovely area where everyone is nice and pleasant to talk to, the children on the whole are well mannered, except the hillbillies who live next door.
    Their house and garden is like a rubbish dump, old bikes and overgrown back garden, full of doggie poop because they can't be bothered to clean it up.
    We have a shared pathway, and they frequently leave bikes and assorted rubbish on it, preventing us from using it. This morning I had the cheek to move a bike that was blocking my way out, onto their driveway, (driveway = dirt patch) , mummy hillbilly came out swearing at me to leave the bike where it was, and she threatened to punch my face in. Son 11 years old, joined in. Apparantly I am a fat cow who is going to get her head punched in, and they will set their dog onto my cat next time they see it.
    Called police, and they've had words with them and given me an incident number.
    Not the first time I've had to call the police, and this sort of behaviour, noise nuisence etc has been going on for the 4 years I've been here. All the neighbours have had problems with them, but wont speak out. I get it in the neck because I dare to answer them back.
    Apart from moving, what can I do?
    Anybody want to swap?........xxxxxx
  2. Poor you, they sound hideous and you shouldn't have to put up with it.
    Contact the council, they will send you a diary and you can keep track of all incidents, noise and everything. When you have a sufficient ammount of evidence [can you try and record a rant?] you can present it to the police, hopefully that will be enough for them to be reprimanded in some way. Are they renting or DSS? If they are renting you could try and contact the landlord from the land registry and get them to sort it.
    Other than that some sort of hunting trap?
    Hope you get it sorted.

  3. Oh dear poor you, sounds horrid :(
    The setting the dog on the cat thing would really worry me and Id probably be keeping my cat in, though the chances are they're all talk.
  4. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I really feel for you. It's no way to live is it? It's especially horrible when the love you feel for your cat makes you an easy target . . . . . the vulnerability leaves you wide open to hurt and fear. Hopefully they are indeed all talk on that front.
    In our street there are similarly vile people (can you call them that?? mutants is perhaps a better word) and there has been the odd incidence of them being rehoused (unfortunately the cemetary was full) due to their anti-social behaviour. In most cases the people complaining about the mutants have been almost as horrendous themselves. It's really difficult to deal with people like this when you are not an equally aggressive, aggro merchant. The council can take years to act on information and it can take years of log taking and incidents before the council will even start to look at the case. I think it depends largely on just how bad their behaviour is. If you get your windows put out, your door kicked in, your wheelie bin set on fire and placed against a door, your car petrol bombed etc etc, and the police are involved, then the council will act more quickly. Once property gets damaged in other words.
    Physical violence to you or your family will also make the council react more urgently.
    I would like to think that verbal threats of violence will also do the trick, but as someone says, getting a recording of this on your mobile would be good.
  5. If only! My ex and his family put up with years and years of abuse from family in their street. Cars were regularly set fire to, their daughter (6 when it started) was regularly threatened with violence and many of the incidents were caught on video. The video was not allowed to be used as evidence against the scum and the police response was to teach the family how to hit them and make it look like self defence instead of assault!
    The council did nothing, even when there was a street meeting with the police and council invited.
  6. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Oh yes, what I have always wanted, neighbours from hell.

    If you own your home I imagine selling it is going to hurt. Still it might be worth it. Putting up with knobs is no way to live your life. We had some for a bit and we moved on, it cost us probably ten grand, it was well worth it.
  7. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Or perhaps you could rent it out to some ultra aggressive bikers?

    I wouldn't be staying around, RunAway is my middle name.
  8. chances are the landlord couldn't care less as long as they're getting their rent
    **** situation for you
  9. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    I might swap. Your neighbours sound like just general violent aggressive attention seeking low life idle lazy idiots.
    Mine are a bit like that with the addition of being rather mentally disturbed and given to strange behavious of an exotic sort minus the personal violence threats.
    Your neighbours need assertiveness - or classroom management strategies.
    If you have to move a bike again state calmly and with authority that "you must not leave bikes on this shared pathway" repeat neutrally over their ranting and threats. Also practice saying "You are not going to punch my face in, please don't be so silly" not of course, when they are in drink or have friends round. Try "Do not threaten me outside my house, I will not accept this, stop now". Do carry something in your hand to repel attacks, a broom or an umbrella, a garden tool of some sort, or even a tennis racket - I doubt they would ever touch you, this verbal aggression is just noise.It may be necessary for you to push it to the extreme to ensure that you feel safe in your house. Just be polite and project authority. You know how to do this. It is headology you need. And broken record assertiveness techniques. You may like to try just standing nodding and silent until she has finished and then give it your repeated command requests. Use body language too. Make yourself as big as you can without being aggressive by holding your hands out from your sides with the palms face up. As if you are giving an important speech, it give a very strong message non verbally.Face towards them hands out not protecting your body or looking intimidated. It works with people with learning difficulties on a very basic human level. Another strong sign is to pass your hand (not finger) across your body in a strong gesture of "No". Thte last sign is "Now" which is where you open your arms, hands up and bring them down swiftly while saying "Now". These makaton signs support language and are very very useful when being harangued by people who have lost control even. I use them often in my work.
    I dealt with one shouting incident from my neighbour by telling her to go inside and stop shouting. It worked. I should have used it years ago, but I choose to ignore which did not work at all, just uppped the attention seeking.
    These people are in your class. Treat them as you would difficult pupils.
    Have a barbecue or other outside party and invite as many burly friends as you can muster. Explain why you are doing this if necessary to your friends. Have a loud and happy party outside and just let the neighbours know that you are not on your own in the world and that you have many friends ...... big burly friends hopefully.
    Alteratively you could trip over the bike and then bang on her door and threaten to sue her.

  10. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I'm so glad you said that. Our house is currently on the market and we are set to make a loss (substantial) even if we get the valuation price. Some people think we are crazy for wanting to move from this neighbourhood, as there is absolutely no guarantee that moving to a nicer area will bring us quieter, more well mannered neighbours.
    This whole issue of moving has been relegated to second division recently though, with my job/earnings situation. Now we are wondering whether we might have to stay put.
  11. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Sorry. I should have been clearer. I agree there are some horrendous situations being blithely ignored year afer year. You need luck in terms finding a sympathetic ear at the council, someone who is often willing to bypass some red tape on your behalf and push things forward.
  12. Mummy hillbillly has bought the house unfortunately, which probably explains her idea that the shared pathway is her property. That must mean every time I walk down the front path I am tresspassing?
    The police's solution this morning was for me to suggest the council to put a gate onto the back of my garden which opens up to Common, which I could use instead?????????
    I shall contact the Council after the holidays and see if I can get them to get her to realise that the pathway is not solely for the hillbillies use.
    Also contacting my local Councillors as problems with the hillbillies have been going on for years with no sign of improvement.

  13. Thanks everyone.

    I'm the Council tennant, and mummy hillbilly bought hers from the Council about 3 years ago. Thats why I thought they might be able to tell me exactly where the boundaries are.
    The Council came round about 6 months ago to replace some slabs on the path (damaged by hillbillies digging out there so called driveway).
    Its a lovely area right next to the Nature Reserve with beautiful views, but this one family are spoiling things for everyone.


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