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"Needy" posts and posters

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Ivartheboneless, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    At the risk of being controversial, there aren't half a lot of "needy" posts on here. We all have problems; money, health, psychological (I'll ignore the political). I have some of the above, but I ain't going for faux sympathy, I just get on with it with the family motto "Stoicus et pragmatica" which probably does not translate, but some of you might get the gist. Being of (proper) working class origin and old enough we were just taught to "get on with it" or in todays parlance "suck it up".

    Cue backlash.

    PS Lost cat does not count, they do their own thing.
  2. Weald56

    Weald56 Established commenter

    Maybe, but I also think the ability to say (or ask) anonymously what one might not say/ask in person perhaps plays an important role in helping some people (at least) cope.
  3. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    It was the inevitable consequence of shutting down the Opinion forum.
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I ain't going for faux sympathy! I don't expect it and I don't give it.

    I'm going for practical suggestions on my cancer thread. And I have had loads! As well as emotional support for my emotional needs. Am I needy? Sure am!

    Advice, hints, tips! All gratefully received.
  5. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    "Faux sympathy" might be what you see.
    But often a poster in need will start a thread which gives rise to personal messaging about the matter with one or more other contributors, and when that happens perhaps the import of the communication is strengthened.
    It wouldn't happen without an initial public thread that something is going wrong.

    "Need" is such a variable. Often it is not based on what is going wrong externally, so you could have somebody being needy because their birthday card got lost in the post, or equally somebody being blase because they are stuck in hospital for weeks on end in pain.

    One thing is sure though, for those who are feeling needy, a voice they can reach out to will help, whereas a voice that undermines the fact of being needy might be a voice to avoid.

    Perhaps apropos the opening post, that is mutuality. So that's also nice.
  6. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Oh dear - I don't think I'm needy but this will make me think twice about posting.

    Thought about it more and I won't stop posting - OP (and others) don't have to read!!!
  7. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Last time I looked people were allowed to start threads about anything they felt like and the rest of us could choose whether to view and contribute to those posts when and as we wanted to. Your OP is akin to those who moan about tv programmes they hate instead of just utilising the off switch.
  8. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Ooh look, backlash (thats the other prominent thing on here "attack the poster").
  9. Pageant

    Pageant Occasional commenter

    Isn't that actually akin to what you are doing........... attacking the poster/s. If you don't need any help, advice, support or even a good old moan then GOOD FOR YOU!
    TCSC47, frangipani123, vannie and 8 others like this.
  10. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Bite me! I am not attacking anyone. It was an "observation". Perhaps you would like to analyse my psychological condition now?
  11. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Maybe you could name some of the posters you consider so needy?
    needabreak and Jamvic like this.
  12. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    You won’t have a psychological condition to analyse. Good old fashioned, ‘proper’ :rolleyes: (as you put it) working class folks don’t have them, they just ‘suck it up’ according to you of course.

    Oh dear, are you feeling a bit needy?
  13. Flowersinspring

    Flowersinspring Lead commenter

    smoothnewt likes this.
  14. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    It’s in the name: Personal.
    It’s an invitation to post on matters personal.
    Nothing wrong with that.
    TCSC47, vannie, foxtail3 and 9 others like this.
  15. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

  16. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I'm completely unrepentant. And very, very needy. Cancer is pretty personal to me. What with me having it at 3C and being pretty damned scared!

    Fear, prospect of imminent demise, anxiety about where it'll leave my wife and pets, pain. Yep. Sucking it up just ain't worked for me. When I thought it was constipation I was OK with it. But it's knocked me for 6!

    Needy? You betcha!
    caress, Lala24, phlogiston and 24 others like this.
  17. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    That would probably in breach of the T&Cs.

    Needy posters don't bother me too much, because you can never tell which way a thread will go. Sometimes they drift into interesting areas, providing information you wouldn't normally encounter.

    The sort of threads I wish we had fewer of are those about rocky relationships, where instead of getting replies intended to resolve the difficulties, every bitter divorcee gangs up to attack the partner whose voice we never hear.

    If I've read a post saying "Clear all the money in a joint bank account into your own bank account, change the locks and get a good lawyer" once, I've read them a thousand times. It's as though such posters never understood what went wrong with their own relationships.
  18. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Indeed... in many ways the plethora of "opinion" threads are the intruders...
  19. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Not sure what the OP means. Needy posts from established posters? This is "personal" after all. Needy posts from "new posters" who just happen to have joined TES on that very day and start sharing an amazing dilemma? We can all make our mind up about those.
  20. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    Jesus that OP's depressing...
    Even more depressing is when people have to resort to this place for advice and comfort. Unless you're a recognised poster you're going to be accused of being a troll. Even if you ARE a recognised poster with a legit reason for being "needy" you're going to have emotionally out-to-lunch strangers having a problem with it.
    Peak TES.

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